Skills for HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Chapter 10

What is a relationship? A bond or connection you have with other people.   We as human beings (social creatures) have a need to belong and be loved, feel safe, secure, valued and recognized. These needs are met when we form healthy relationships. All relationships can have positive and negative effects on your physical, mental/emotional, and social health. Based on shared values, interests and mutual respect. We’re drawn to those that encourage and support us. In healthy relationships both people benefit and feel comfortable.

Types of relationships Friendship: a significant relationship between two people that is based on caring, trust and consideration. You might share confidences, hobbies and other friends. A friendship can positively influence your self-concept and behavior and help you resist negative influences. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L14QtTGtjF4   Citizenship: the way you conduct yourself as a member of the community. Members work together to promote the safety and well-being of the entire community. Volunteer at a hospital or work to provide food, clothing and shelter to the homeless. Obey laws and rules. Be friendly and helpful to neighbors. Contribute to efforts to improve your school and community.

The Three C’s of Healthy Relationships 1.Communication: your ways of sending and receiving messages. Can be exchanged in words, gestures, facial expressions & behaviors. 2.Cooperation: working together for the good of all. Builds strong relationships. 3.Compromise: a problem-solving method that involves each participant’s giving up something to reach a solution that satisfies everyone. “Give and take” strengthens relationships. Shows the other person that you are willing to give up something to reach a solution because you value the relationship. It should be acceptable to all concerned. Do not go against your values or beliefs, so use your refusal skills stand your ground.

Characteristics of Healthy Relationships Mutual Respect and Consideration – even when you disagree. Be thoughtful about the rights and feelings of others.   Honesty – have the confidence to be open and honest about their actions, thoughts and feelings. Dishonesty can seriously weaken or even destroy a relationship. Dependability – be trustworthy and reliable. Be there for the other when needed. Commitment – work together and make sacrifices that benefit everyone involved. They are loyal and committed to the relationship.

Communication Styles: Passive- inability to express thoughts and feelings. Do not stand up for self or defend their thoughts and beliefs. Aggressive- often get their way through bullying and intimidation. Do not consider rights or thoughts of others. In disagreement, they attack other person and ignore problem. Assertive- expresses thoughts and feelings clearly and directly without hurting others. Defend attitudes and beliefs while respecting others. In disagreements, they attack problem, not person. Uses effective speaking and listening skills as well as appropriate body language.

Sweet vid https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5yCOSHeYn4

What are Good Speaking skills? -Good communication skills -Do not assume others can read your mind. You are responsible for making your thoughts and feelings known. -Clearly say what you mean. -Tone, pitch, and loudness of voice can have affects. Ex: kind words in sarcastic tone, say no softly, etc.. -“I” Messages- statement saying how you feel. Can communicate your feelings positively without blame that cause people to go defensive.

What are good listening skills? -equally as important as speaking. -Active listening- paying close attention to what someone is saying, giving full attention, not interrupting or making judgments. Reflective listening- summarize or rephrase -Clarifying- asking questions to make sure you understand Encouraging- show that you’re interested and that you understand. Empathizing- imagine how they feel and then feel for the person as you listen.

Communication Barriers Body language- nonverbal communication through gestures, facial expressions, behaviors, and posture. Communication Barriers -Identity- teen searching for self. -Unrealistic expectations -Lack of trust -Prejudice -Gender stereotyping

Sweet vid https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VB-5XSqzAfg

feedback Constructive criticism- non hostile comments that point out problems and encourage improvement. Intended to bring about positive changes.   Acknowledgments and Compliments Expressing and receiving respect, admiration, and appreciation with grace and sincerity can help build healthy relationships. Can take on many forms. Ex: telling parent that the meal was good, telling friend that she is a good artist, or congratulating the volleyball team on making playoffs.

What is conflict Disagreement, Struggle, or a Fight

How to respond to conflict Two choices- face the conflict, or ignore it. Negotiation- use of communication and compromise to settle a disagreement. Make sure issue is important. Check the facts. Goal is to find a solution. Figure out what you’re going to say.

The process of solving a disagreement in a manner that satisfies all. Conflict Resolution The process of solving a disagreement in a manner that satisfies all.

How to solve conflict 1.Take time to calm down and think over the situation 2. When discussing the conflict, take turns explaining each person’s side of the conflict without interruption. Use “I” messages. 3. Ask for clarifications so that each person understands the other’s position. 4. Brainstorm solutions. 5. Agree on a solution that benefits both sides. 6. Follow up to see whether the correct solution was chosen and whether that solution worked for each person.

Steps to take when negotiating- Select time and place that’s appropriate Work together toward the solution Keep an open mind Be flexible Take responsibility for your role Give the person an “out”

Mediation- -The process in helping others resolve conflicts peacefully. 1.Confidentiality- keep details secret 2. Set ground rules that you explain to both sides. 3. Mediator starts by asking each person to describe the disagreement. Then summarizes each side and asking for clarification, then an agreement is worked out and both parties must agree.