COMMUNICATION A learned skill

3 parts to communicating  Sending messages  Receiving messages  Responding to the information

Sending messages  Verbally  Stay focused on the specific issue  It’s not what you say, but HOW you say it  TONE OF VOICE gives the meaning to your words  Choose an appropriate time and place to discuss the problem

Sending Messages  Non- Verbally  All the body language used in communicating meaning  If the verbal (words) conflict with the non-verbal ques (body language) the listener will believe the non-verbal message (body language)

Receiving Messages (Listening)  Good listening begins with:  Eye contact  Appropriate body language  Not interrupting Try not to be too busy or too tired to REALLY listen

Responding  Can respond in three ways:  Assertive  Non-assertive or Passive  Aggressive

Assertive  Definition: ask for what you want without being offensive to others  Examples:  ask for what you want  Say no without being mean or feeling guilty  Express feelings without blaming others  Use “I” statements  Use a calm tone of voice, no sarcasm

Non-Assertive, Passive  Definition: shy, timid allowing others to take advantage of you  This is sometimes the quickest way to end an argument  Not a good way to communicate all the time

Aggressive  Definition: inconsiderate, does not respect others, just gets his/her own needs met  Examples: Loud, rude tone of voice Dominates conversations Argumentative Must have the final word

Defense Mechanisms  A psychological way of protecting ourselves from the emotional stress of certain situations  The person uses them to help maintain self-respect and a sense of well being.  Everyone uses them from time to time  See examples on the classroom handout