1. COMMUNICATION The process of sending and receiving messages between people.

2. Three Elements Needed Message sender Provides the information Message receiver Observes or listens to the information Forms an impression May offer a response or reaction Understandable message Is essential

3. Communication Channels Nonverbal communication Sending words without words Facial expressions and gestures Verbal communication Sending messages with words Face to face, phone or in writing

4. One-Way Communication Involves one person speaking, but there is no give or take. No questions may be asked and there is no way to clarify statements made. It leaves a great deal of room for misinterpretation.

5. Do Activity: One-Way Communication

6. 2 Way Street one person sends messages and another receives them Sometimes messages aren’t transmitted or interpreted as intended

7. Barriers to Communication Unclear message Misunderstandings Pour listening skills Some people don’t listen because they are focusing on their own thoughts Others don’t concentrate Language and culture Limited language skills hard to say what one means

8. I Messages You say how you feel and what you think Has three parts “I feel…” (here you name an emotion – anger, fear, disappointment) “when you…” (here you say what behavior bothers you) “because…” (explain why it bothers you)

9. “I feel upset when you play our new video games first because I’d like to be first once in a while.” Less likely to cause negative feelings Which interfere with communication Using “you” messages dooms a disagreement to attacks and accusations. “I” messages help keep a conversation reasonable

10. Assignment: “I” statements

11. Avoiding Mixed Messages When you say one thing but your body or tone of voice says another Causes confusion People don’t know whether to believe what you say or what they see or hear

12. Activity Worksheet: “Splitting Headache” take 8 minutes to complete this.

13. Choosing Time and Place Important to keep communication positive Be sure the person is willing and able to listen Avoid times when emotions will hinder the message Angry, you need to calm down Make sure the other person is not distracted

14. Communication Styles The way you speak is just as important as what you say. Be assertive Express your ideas or opinions firmly with confidence You will be listened to and taken seriously Not aggressive Overly forceful and pushy They are often angry or frustrated People reject and walk away from this message

15. Activity In the next 5 minutes Complete handout “Are you Assertive” Discuss

16. Passive Keep their opinions to themselves and give in to the influence of others Some people are to timid to express their opinions Other’s don’t know what their opinions are. Easier to follow the crowd This style can lead to unwise decisions

17. Activity Complete handout “Passive, Aggressive, or Assertive?” in the next 5 minutes. Discuss Complete handout “Taking Charge” Discuss

18. Receiving the Message Active Listening Concentrating on what is said so that you understand and remember the message. Helps strengthen relationships Those who use active listening are less self-absorbed and more likely to learn from others. Boosts self-esteem in others.

19. Techniques for Active Listening Keep an open mind Accept the other person’s point of view Eliminate distractions TV, radio, etc. Listen with a purpose Make eye contact

20. Activity Contact Eye contact is essential to good communication Contact paper (RC-56)

21. Focus your attention Think about what’s being said, not how you’ll respond. Control negative emotions If the speaker’s message upsets you focus on staying calm and listening. Then you can present your view. Don’t cut the speaker off.

22. Activity Butt Out! Interrupting and changing the subject are two factors that interfere with good communication. Hand out: Butt Out! (RC-58)

23. Feedback Occurs when a listener lets the speaker know that he or she is trying to understand the message being delivered. Ways to give feedback Interject a comment when the speaker pauses. Ask questions Restate what the speaker said in your own words and ask whether you understood the message correctly.

24. Show empathy when the other person is upset and needs to unload negative feelings “that sounds unfair…” “you must have been so hurt… ”

25. Dealing with Criticism Criticism is often well meant. Keep an open mind and consider comments that seem intended to help you. Spiteful or inaccurate criticism Ignore it. You don’t have to respond to negative comments.