1. LIFE-SITUATION INTERVENTIONS Chapter 6 Interpersonal

2. WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE ASSERTIVE? IS IT MORE EFFECTIVE TO BE ASSERTIVE OR AGGRESSIVE?

3. DEFINITIONS Assertive – expressing yourself and satisfying your own needs, feeling positively about this, AND not hurting others in the process Assertive – expressing yourself and satisfying your own needs, feeling positively about this, AND not hurting others in the process NONassertive – denying or sacrificing your own needs or wishes to satisfy someone else’s NONassertive – denying or sacrificing your own needs or wishes to satisfy someone else’s

4. DEFINITIONS cont. Aggressive – seeking to dominate or get your own way at the expense of others Aggressive – seeking to dominate or get your own way at the expense of others Test your own assertiveness level (pg. 96) Test your own assertiveness level (pg. 96)

5. WHICH OF THESE TYPES OF BEHAVIOR COULD LEAD TO STRESS? WHICH OF THESE TYPES OF BEHAVIOR COULD LEAD TO STRESS? AND… AND… HOW? HOW?

6. Nonassertiveness => not satisfying your own needs/wishes => STRESSORS! Nonassertiveness => not satisfying your own needs/wishes => STRESSORS! Aggressiveness => strained/poor/nonexistent interpersonal relationships => STRESSORS! Aggressiveness => strained/poor/nonexistent interpersonal relationships => STRESSORS!

7. NONVERBAL ASSERTIVENESS BE FAMILIAR WITH THE NONVERBAL SIGNS OF THE 3 COMMUNICATION STYLES (pg. 98), but… BE FAMILIAR WITH THE NONVERBAL SIGNS OF THE 3 COMMUNICATION STYLES (pg. 98), but… UNDERSTAND THAT NOT EVERY CULTURE/RACE/ETHNICITY CONFORMS TO THE SAME MEANINGS BEHIND NONVERBAL CUES AND BODY LANGUAGE UNDERSTAND THAT NOT EVERY CULTURE/RACE/ETHNICITY CONFORMS TO THE SAME MEANINGS BEHIND NONVERBAL CUES AND BODY LANGUAGE

8. VERBAL ASSERTIVENESS DESC form minus C = DES DESC form minus C = DES Describe-the other person’s beh. OR the situation, “When….” Describe-the other person’s beh. OR the situation, “When….” Express-your feelings, “I feel…” Express-your feelings, “I feel…” Specify-what you would like to change, “I would prefer…” or “I would like you to…” or “I want…” Specify-what you would like to change, “I would prefer…” or “I would like you to…” or “I want…”

9. CONSEQUENCE?!?! Why take off the C (consequence)? Why take off the C (consequence)? What does saying “If you do/don’t do…, I will …” imply to the other person? What does saying “If you do/don’t do…, I will …” imply to the other person?

10. Sounds like a THREAT OR ULTIMATUM, doesn’t it? How do most people respond to THREATS OR ULTIMATUMS?! How do most people respond to THREATS OR ULTIMATUMS?! Try the DES instead Try the DES instead Group Activity Group Activity

11. CONFLICT RESOLUTION For most of us, conflict/confrontation… For most of us, conflict/confrontation… Active/Reflective Listening – paraphrase the other person’s words AND feelings (what if you’re wrong?) Active/Reflective Listening – paraphrase the other person’s words AND feelings (what if you’re wrong?) What message does attempting to actively/reflectively listen send? What message does attempting to actively/reflectively listen send?

12. CONFLICT RESOLUTION cont. Identifying your position – send an “I…” message (from activity earlier) Identifying your position – send an “I…” message (from activity earlier) Exploring solutions – not about winning or being right Exploring solutions – not about winning or being right You have to decide: Is it worth it? You have to decide: Is it worth it?

13. COMMUNICATION Goal is congruence between your verbal AND your nonverbal expression Goal is congruence between your verbal AND your nonverbal expression Plan time to talk (suggestions on pg.104) Plan time to talk (suggestions on pg.104) Listening-active/reflective listening is POWERFUL in everyday conversation, NOT JUST IN CONFLICTS Listening-active/reflective listening is POWERFUL in everyday conversation, NOT JUST IN CONFLICTS

14. COMMUNICATION cont. Find something to agree with Find something to agree with Substitute “and…” for “but…”;”but” may… Substitute “and…” for “but…”;”but” may… “I…” statements; What tends to happen when you start with “You…”? “I…” statements; What tends to happen when you start with “You…”? Substitute “what…?” or “how…?” for “why” Substitute “what…?” or “how…?” for “why”

15. TIME MANAGEMENT List of Time Management suggestions…on pages 106-109 List of Time Management suggestions…on pages 106-109 Many of you set Time Mgmt. Stress goals; These strategies can help! They will also help you be SPECIFIC! Many of you set Time Mgmt. Stress goals; These strategies can help! They will also help you be SPECIFIC!

16. SOCIAL SUPPORT NETWORK Just be aware of 3 types: tangible, emotional, and informational Just be aware of 3 types: tangible, emotional, and informational Whether DIRECT EFFECT THEORY or STRESS BUFFERING THEORY, either way… Whether DIRECT EFFECT THEORY or STRESS BUFFERING THEORY, either way… A strong social support network provides a strong foundation for… A strong social support network provides a strong foundation for…

17. SOCIAL SUPPORT NETWORK cont. Scale to measure your social support on pg. 110-112 Scale to measure your social support on pg. 110-112 TAKING CHANCES!!! TAKING CHANCES!!!