Interpersonal Skills: Effective Communication & Conflict Resolution Chapter 9

What are interpersonal skills? Skills needed to get along with others Communication skills, conflict resolution skills, and planning skills

Communication Skills Terms to know: active listening, body language, communication, eye contact, feedback, “I” statements, nonverbal, verbal Communication: sending and receiving of messages between people Ways of communicating:  1. “I” messages  2. Verbal  3. Nonverbal

“I” statements Three parts to an “I” statement  “I feel…”  “when you…”  “because…” Using “I” statements in an argument helps to avoid raising negative feelings  Not attacking the other person

Verbal Words are used Tone of voice, how you say words Knowing how you sound ensures you are sending the right messages you intend to send Knowing when and where to communicate can make communicating more positive  Make sure the person is willing and able to listen  Avoid times when emotions can interfere  Make sure other person is not distracted

Nonverbal Without words or body language Affects not only how others see you, but also how they react to your verbal message Eye contact is very important with nonverbal communication

Active Listening Concentrating on what is said so that you understand and remember the message Helps:  Relationships grow  Grow as a person  Know more about the world  Boosts self-esteem

How to listen better Concentrate Listen with a purpose Keep an open mind Be positive Make eye contact Control you emotions Don’t interrupt

Feedback Listener lets the speaker know that he or she is trying to understand the message being delivered Ways to give feedback:  Interject a comment when the speaker pauses  Summarize what the other is saying  Express interest by asking questions  Show empathy when others are upset Example: “that’s so unfair” or “you must have been hurt”

Body Language Activity Body Language Activity tm Body Language Activity tm

Conflict Resolution Chapter 11

Conflict Resolution Terms to know: conflict, mediation, negotiation, peer mediation Conflict is a struggle between people who disagree Not unusual to have conflicts

Why conflicts occur Situational causes Personality differences Power struggles

Negative Results Negative emotions arise People can become ill People say things they don’t mean Relationships suffer Violence can occur

Resolving conflicts Conflict resolution process:  1. Identify the problem  2. Identify possible outcomes  3. Evaluate each suggested solution  4. Pick the best solution  5. See if the solution is working  6. If necessary, agree to disagree

Skillful resolution Use words, not fists Take charge of the situation Take turns talking Control your voice Show respect Speak the truth Control your language Use effective body language Value your safety

Avoiding conflicts See the positive side in situations Change the subject Defuse the situation with confidence Don’t be easily irritated ??When should you ignore a conflict??

Mediation Unbiased third party that helps in settling conflicts Used when two people can not settle a conflict on their own Peer mediation (process in which specially trained students help other students resolve conflicts peacefully) are used in schools

Time Management Tools to help manage time:  Calculators, date books, electronic planners, calendars, etc.

How to manage time Set goals – goal’s become your guide  Example: someone wants to improve on the piano, schedule more practice time  What do you want to accomplish today? This week? Month? year? Set priorities – we usually don’t have time to do everything we want to do; therefore, we must prioritize (decide which tasks are more important than others

Cont. To-do lists:  Write down what you want to accomplish  Assign it a category: A,B,C “A” most important, etc.  Schedule some “down time” also!!

Trouble-makers Wasted time: identify what you do that might be wasting time Procrastination: putting things off  Do unpleasant tasks first  Avoid distractions and interruptions  Set up a schedule Over commitment: learn to say “no”

Strategies Break large tasks into smaller units Dovetail activities (overlap activities in order to save time) Allow enough time (don’t rush) Be prepared Evaluate standards (are you setting impossible standards for yourself?) Be flexible: not everything goes as planned