1. Relationships – Chapter 8 Coping with Conflict and Stress Essential Questions: What is conflict and how does it affect relationships? What are healthy ways to manage conflict and stress in relationships?

2. Not all can be ___________________ CONFLICT ___________________ conflicts are easy to resolve Large conflicts require more _____________ to resolve. Conflict can occur ___________________ (temptations) Resolving conflicts involves good skills in __________________ and __________________ __________________ avoided Small skill within yourself communications problem solving A disagreement, dispute, or difference of opinion with another person

3. Conflicts handled properly Unresolved Conflicts Promote peace, fairness, and respect Lead to hurt feelings, anger, frustration, loss of friendship

4. REASONS FOR CONFLICT (The message sent is not the message that is received.) (Physical, emotional, social) (Time, money, possessions) (Anger & Jealousy) Lack of respect for unfamiliar things) *Not enough time on homework leads to conflict with teacher *Sister borrows something and ruins it – conflict over possessions *Dating –if need for affection not met = jealousy & anger *Acceptance by classmates - emotional need *Lack of respect – need for self-esteem *Could be intentional or misunderstood situation *Should be controlled

5. PREVENTING CONFLICT Controlling your Emotions Dealing with Each Others’ Emotions Use Good Communication Skills Respect Differences Walk away for a few minutes Count to 10 before you respond Take deep breaths Don’t take it personally Try to see their point of view If you don’t understand, calmly ask them to explain Speak clearly Listen carefully Provide feedback Treat others with respect Make people feel comfortable with you Don’t make judgments about others’ appearance or abilities

6. Conflict EscalatorsConflict De-Escalators Threatening the other person Losing your temper Ignoring the other person Withdrawing Letting the other person have his or her way Shoving, hitting, pushing Choosing sides Asking the other person to talk calmly Controlling your emotions Listen to what the other person is saying Focusing attention on the problem Compromising Controlling your behavior Remaining neutral

7. Conflict Management (as soon as possible) (in private) (no name-calling) Handle at the right time Handle in the right place Avoid attacking others’ personalities Remain calm Listen as well as talk

8. 7 Steps of Conflict Management Step 1 State the Step 2 Explain your Step 3 List concerns common to Step 4 List possible Step 5 Evaluate possible Step 6 Carry out the chosen Step 7 Evaluate the problem point of view both parties solutions solution Be sure you are disagreeing about the same thing Explain WHY you are upset. Listen carefully to the other side of the problem Work together. These are facts. Brainstorm as many as you can. Consider several you think would work. Negotiate to find one both parties can agree on. If none is suitable, a compromise is needed. Includes what each party should do, and when. Should be simple. Includes actions for both parties if conflict arises again. If conflict is still occurring, another solution must be found.

9. Mediators in School ConflictsMediators Outside of School A third party who helps to resolve the conflict. Good listener Can clarify issues to avoid confusion Impartial or fair Should not become personally involved in the conflict Teacher Guidance counselor Principal Peer – another uninvolved student Church County Mental Health Services Yellow Pages – conflict resolution, arbitration or mediation service

10. STRESS Definition: Physical or mental tension caused by __________________ Amount of stress = Amount of _______________ you face Normal part of 2 Types change Daily life Keeps you safe Motivates you Positive (helpful) Negative (harmful) change

11. SIGNS OF STRESS Physical Emotional Headache Stomach ache Inability to sleep Feeling tired all the time Change in eating habits High blood pressure Neck & back pain Increased anger Nothing is fun Depressed Irritable Anxious

12. PREVENTING STRESS 1. Learn to recognize the5. Make your schedule 2. Keep a list of the times you feel6. Avoid stress when you can. Don’t worry about things that 3. Learn to identify7. Talk about 4. Plan well to avoid several stressful events 8. Remember that stress can affect you _____________________. When you are healthy, you are better able to handle stress. causes of stress tense and upset any patterns at one time realistic might not happen your concerns physically

13. COPING WITH STRESS Stress cannot always be prevented. When it does occur, try these ideas to help you cope: 1. If you feel stress when you try to do too much - 2. Use the decision-making process to help you cope with stress - 3. Taking your mind off your worries is another way to deal with stress - 4. Exercising can help you work off the tension caused by stress - When you begin to feel tense, try to lighten your schedule. Take a break – treat yourself. -Identify the problem -List alternatives -Think about the results of each alternative Spend time doing leisure activities. Relax – you’ll deal with stress better. When you are anxious, your back and neck muscles tense. Exercise helps you work out this tension. -Choose the best -Evaluate choices

14. Go back through your notes and define the following terms: Conflict Escalate De-escalate Conflict Management Peer Mediation Mediator Compromise Negotiation Stress

15. Review Chapter 8 by completing the questions on page 182 of your textbook.