Copyright ©2011, 2008, 2005 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. Essentials of Human Communication, 7 th Edition Joseph A. DeVito Hunter College of the City University of New York

Copyright ©2011, 2008, 2005 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. Chapter Eight: Managing Interpersonal Conflict This multimedia product and its contents are protected under copyright law. The following are prohibited by law: - any public performance or display, including transmission of any image over a network; - preparation of any derivative work, including the extraction, in whole or in part, of any images; - any rental, lease, or lending of the program.

Copyright ©2011, 2008, 2005 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. Chapter Eight Goals Engage in interpersonal conflicts so that they result in strengthening, not weakening, your relationship Manage conflicts so that both parties emerge from the conflict reasonably satisfied

Copyright ©2011, 2008, 2005 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. Definition of Interpersonal Conflict Conflict occurs when individuals… Are interdependent Are mutually aware that their goals are incompatible Perceive each other as interfering with the attainment of their own goals

Copyright ©2011, 2008, 2005 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. Conflict and Interdependency

Copyright ©2011, 2008, 2005 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. Myths About Interpersonal Conflict True or False? 1. Conflict is best avoided. Time will solve the problem; it will all blow over. 2. If two people experience relationship conflict, it means their relationship is in trouble. 3. Conflict damages an interpersonal relationship. 4. Conflict is destructive because it reveals our negative selves—our pettiness, our need to be in control, our unreasonable expectations. 5. In any conflict, there has to be a winner and a loser. Because goals are incompatible, someone has to win and someone has to lose.

Copyright ©2011, 2008, 2005 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. 1. Conflict can center on content or relationship issues 2. Conflict can be positive or negative 3. Conflict is influenced by culture and gender, 4. Conflict styles have consequences Principles of Interpersonal Conflict

Copyright ©2011, 2008, 2005 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. Conflict can be Negative or Positive Positive aspects Examines problem Work towards potential solution Each states own needs/wants Prevents hostilities and resentments from festering Stabilizes relationship Negative aspects Increased negative feelings Closes you off from the other person Leads to further conflict, hurt, and resentment

Copyright ©2011, 2008, 2005 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. Conflict and Culture Cultural differences Collectivist cultures Individualistic cultures

Copyright ©2011, 2008, 2005 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. Conflict and Gender Which gender stereotype regarding conflict is supported by research? Answer: the withdrawing and sometimes aggressive male

Copyright ©2011, 2008, 2005 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. Conflict Styles Have Consequences

Copyright ©2011, 2008, 2005 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. Factors to consider The goals to be achieved Your emotional state Your cognitive assessment of the situation Your personality and communication competence Your family history Conflict Management Strategies

Copyright ©2011, 2008, 2005 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. Force and Talk Force can be emotional or physical Instead of resorting to force, people should rely on talking and listening to manage conflict Conflict avoidance may involve actual physical flight. Nonnegotiation – Refusal to discuss – “Steamrolling” Avoidance and Fighting Actively

Copyright ©2011, 2008, 2005 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. Defensiveness and Supportiveness Evaluation Control Strategy Neutrality Superiority Certainty

Copyright ©2011, 2008, 2005 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. Face- Attacking Strategies that attack a person’s positive face Beltlining Blame Strategies that enhance positive face Confirm the other person’s self-image. Listen supportively and actively. Use I-messages that avoid blaming the other person. Use excuses and apologies as appropriate Face- Enhancing

Copyright ©2011, 2008, 2005 Pearson Education, Inc. All rights reserved. More Conflict Management Strategies Silencers and Facilitating Open Expression Gunnysacking and Present Focus Verbal Aggressiveness and Argumentativeness