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Chapter 7:
Emotional Messages
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2. Principles of Emotions and Emotional Messages
Emotional communication, emotional intelligence, social intelligence
Feelings are a part of communication and meaning
Dyssemia – inability to engage in emotional communication
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3. Principles of Emotions (cont.)
Emotions may be primary or blended
Primary emotions of joy, trust, fear, surprise, sadness, disgust, anger and anticipation
Blended emotions combine primary emotions
Emotion wheel model
Emotions close in meaning are close together
Emotions opposite in meaning are opposite
Shades show blended emotions
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5. Principles of Emotions (cont.)
Emotions are influenced by body, mind, and culture
Emotions and emotional communication may be adaptive or maladaptive
Adaptive emotions help you adjust appropriately
Maladaptive emotions get in the way of adjusting and accomplishing goals
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6. Principles of Emotions (cont.)
Emotions can be used strategically
Strong and honest expression of your feelings
Used for personal ends to control or manipulate
Emotions are communicated verbally and nonverbally
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7. Principles of Emotions (cont.)
Emotional expression is governed by display rules
Cultural display rules
Gender display rules
Emotions have consequences
Emotions are contagious
Emotional contagion
Emotional appeal
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8. Obstacles to Communicating Emotions
Societal and cultural customs
Gender
Organization
Fear, risks
Inadequate interpersonal skills
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9. Emotional Competence
Emotional understanding or self-awareness of your feelings and their effects
“What am I feeling and what made me feel this way?”
“What exactly do I want to communicate?”
“What are my communication choices?”
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10. Emotional Competence (cont.)
Emotional expression
Be specific
Describe the reasons for your feelings
Address mixed feelings
Try to anchor your emotions in the present
Own your feelings, take personal responsibility for them with I-statements
Ask for what you want
Respect emotional boundaries
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11. Emotional Competence (cont.)
Emotional responding
Look at nonverbal cues to understand feelings
Look for cues about what the person wants you to do
Use active listening
Empathize
Focus on the other person
Remember communication is irreversible
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12. Emotional Competence (cont.)
Grieving communication
Confirm the person and their emotions
Give them permission to grieve
Avoid trying to focus on the bright side
Encourage them to talk about their feelings and their loss
Be sensitive to leave-taking cues
Let them know you care and you’re available
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13. Emotional Competence (cont.)
Anger communication
Get ready to communicate calmly and logically
Examine your communication choices
Consider the advantages of delaying the expression of your anger
Remember cultural differences in display rules
Apply interpersonal skills
Remember communication is irreversible
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