How to be good adults for children Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Humanity I need to be seen as the person I am I have the right to succeed Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

All the adults at Mørkved school works in an appreciative way, to promote children's health and development. Mørkved skole, Brumunddal Basic view of the adults

The quality of the relations We have adults who take responsibility for the relationship quality in the interaction with children, by: See the individual child on the child's own terms Adapt their own behavior Be aware of when they react according to their own needs Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Relational competences The adults ability to: See each child on the child's own terms Adapt their own behaviour To be the leader And to take the whole responsibility for the quality of the relation Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Relational competences – why do we focus upon that? We shall look upon ourselves and our behaviour in our daily work Am I sufficiently aware of this child, the child's feelings and needs? How do I meet these needs of the child? How do I react when the child has a challenging behavior? Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Relational competences – why do we focus upon that? Awareness of our work with children: Children’s need Our leadership Our responsibility for the quality of the relation Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Relational competences – why do we focus upon that? We need to change focus: From ”the child” to ”the cooperation child – adult” From ”the child’s actions” to ”my actions” Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Relational competences How often do we replace authority by force? When we misunderstand the meaning of the concept authority and are rather authoritarian. We are not allowed! Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Children cooperate When children stop cooperating, it is either because they have cooperated too much too long, or because their integrity suffers. It is never because they are not cooperative. Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

The responsibility for the cooperation The adults has to take the responsibility For the quality of the cooperation - especially when it goes wrong Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Children's behaviour A child's behavior is an expression for something it does for itself and nothing it does against the adult Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Recognition To recognize a person, and at the same time clearly stress that some of its actions are not acceptable, is possible! Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Self confidence Is about our performance What we're good at An outer but not superficial quality Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Self-esteem Is about who I am: To know myself To know my limits To be able to make personal choices The spine of my life - it keeps me up An inner core that develops throughout life Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Self-esteem Gives the child the opportunity to: To dare to go ahead with new and unknown things To acquire new knowledge and new skills To provide peak performance To develop the ability to behave Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Good self-esteem Is knowledge and experience of who I am, and what is good and bad for me Is my human immune system that makes me less vulnerable to serious emotional experiences Is the keynote of my psychological existence Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Developing self-esteem Our children has good self-esteem, because the adults: Appreciate the child as it is Is mentally present at the moment Realize and admit their mistakes Perceive children's behavior as communication to the surroundings, no matter how difficult it is Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Healthy self-esteem Self-esteem in children is growing healthy when we change our evaluating communication with recognition Recognition is necessary for the development of self- esteem, but the educational tradition of evaluating communication is often blocking this opportunity Mørkved skole, Brumunddal

Self-esteem and Self confidence Mørkved skole, Brumunddal Is about «to be» Recognition Is about «to do» Credit Being under constant evaluation, is a threat to self-esteem

A child A child live slowly - and reflection and wonder requires rest and time. A child need time with adults offering their attention rather than requiring the child's attention. Mørkved skole, Brumunddal