The Army expects a Soldier to be morally responsible and law abiding A Soldier who is socially fit is accepting of other peoples’ beliefs and lifestyles A socially fit Soldier maintains basic living skills that promote a positive influence and contribute to their military and civilian communities Social (Self Awareness) - January What is Social Fitness? Leader: Discuss these expectations with your Soldi ers

Citizenship – Soldiers should be law abiding citizens Community – The Soldier should be a respected member of the community Healthy Relationships – A Soldier should maintain professional relationships with other Soldiers in the unit Role Model – A Soldier should embody the Army Values Personal Courage – The strength to do what is right, to adhere to a higher standard of personal conduct, to lead by example, and to make tough decisions under stress and pressure Respect – A Soldier is open in communication and practices empathy that involve treating people justly Social (Self Awareness) - January The Components of Social Fitness Leader: Discuss these expectations with your Soldiers

Unhealthy behaviors show a lack of RESPECT for one’s self, others and their cultures or beliefs Easily influenced by negative trends Poor language choices and attitudes that are antisocial or disrespectful Breaking laws, regulations and protocol Over indulgent behavior or compulsive desires Reclusive or isolative behaviors Poor self-esteem resulting in feeling inferior to others Lying and lack of INTEGRITY Lack of interpersonal skills Being selfish “Backstabbing” Social (Self Awareness) - January Unhealthy Social Fitness Behaviors Leader: Review unhealthy behaviors with your Soldiers

You are SFC Manly. You are assigned as a platoon SGT in an Infantry company and you just met your platoon leader for the first time. 2LT Vasquez is the 1 st female platoon leader that your company has ever had. One of your team leaders, SGT Hardy, has approached you and says, “this is wrong! Females should not be in the Infantry.” At the end of the conversation, SGT Hardy is still upset and is requesting to transfer. What do you do? Social (Self Awareness) - January Unhealthy Social Fitness Scenario Leader: Read the following scenario

Bottom Line Up Front: “Icebergs” are deeply held beliefs and core values that are largely out of your awareness. They are formed from life experiences such as childhood, school, culture etc. Icebergs can be positive or negative. Icebergs do not always have to be changed. When they are activated, they typically cause out of proportion emotions and reactions. Being aware of your icebergs is important because it helps with self regulation. Examples of Icebergs: People should respect their elders. Family comes First. You should finish what you start. Social (Self Awareness) - January Scenario – The Problem Leader: Ask your Soldiers what they perceive the problem to be and then discuss “Icebergs” (open discussion – 2 minutes).

Detecting Icebergs: “Detecting Icebergs” is a critical skill because it increases self awareness which allows us to have greater control over our emotions and reactions. You can identify your iceberg beliefs by asking yourself four “what” questions. 1. What is the most upsetting part of that for me? 2. What does that mean to me? 3. What is the worst part of that for me? 4. Assuming that is true, what about that is so upsetting to me? Questions can be asked in any order. The answer of the last question must guide the next question. Stop when the iceberg explains the consequences (“passes the gut check”). Page 6 Social (Self Awareness) - January Scenario – “Icebergs” Leader: Discuss some “Icebergs” that SGT Hardy may have.

SGT Hardy: “This is wrong. Females should not be in the Infantry. “ SFC Manly: “What is the most upsetting part of that for you?” SGT Hardy: “They are going to be a distraction.” SFC Manly: “Assuming that they are going to be a distraction, what does that mean to you?” SGT Hardy: “The mission will not get accomplished because no one will take direction from a female platoon leader.” SFC Manly: “Assuming that no one will take direction from a female, what does that mean to you?” SGT Hardy: “We would have no leadership because females cannot lead infantry Soldiers.”  ICEBERG BELIEF Leader: Note that the iceberg belief is deeper than original statement of “Females should not be in the Infantry.” This is the belief that is driving SGT Hardy’s strong reaction to the female LT’s assignment. Social (Self Awareness) - January Scenario – “Icebergs” Leader: Have someone role play below script with you. Note that this is normally an internal skill and not done with a partner.

Once an iceberg is found, evaluate it. Ask yourself the following questions: 1.Is this Iceberg helping or harming me? 2.Do I really believe this Iceberg to be true? 3.Do I value this Iceberg belief? 4.What should I do now that I am aware of this Iceberg? Although SGT Hardy may feel strongly about having females in the Infantry, this Iceberg belief is harmful. Army policy is out of his control. SFC Manly should help him focus on strategies that he can learn to help cope with the change and help him continue to be an effective member of the organization. Social (Self Awareness) - January Scenario – “Icebergs” Leader: Ask the group what can be done now that the Iceberg has been detected. Is this Iceberg helping or harming SGT Hardy?

“Detecting Icebergs” builds upon the competency of self awareness by helping you identify and examine beliefs that drive your emotions and reactions. You can be a more effective Soldier by being aware of your thoughts, feelings and reactions because some thoughts, feelings and reactions hinder effectiveness and others enhance effectiveness. It is critical to be aware that certain situations trigger strong emotions that are hard for you to control. Certain behaviors like being aggressive can be positive in some situations but negative in others. Self awareness allows us to use emotions when appropriate. Social (Self Awareness) - January Self Awareness Hunt the good stuff: Positive people think positively. Focusing on positive experiences leads to an optimistic way of thinking. Encourage your Soldiers to share a positive experience that they have had since last drill. (Open discussion)

How does “Detecting Icebergs” help SGT Hardy? – Detecting icebergs can help SGT Hardy move from the wrong fight to the right conversation. Remember ACE * (any stressful situation can lead to suicidal behavior) – Ask what you can do to assist the Soldier in succeeding. – Care enough to listen and provide support. – Escort the Soldier to resources or be one yourself as a positive influence. DO YOU HAVE AN “ACE” CARD? *This may not seem to be a life threatening situation but financial problems often become overwhelming and seem hopeless. The ACE process guides us to assist the Soldier. Have the courage to act on behalf of a fellow Soldier. Never assume that everything is good to go until you have checked. Social (Self Awareness) - January Scenario – Battle Buddy Aid Leader: Ask about responsibility of Battle Buddies and how they can assist in the situation and review ACE

Social (Self Awareness) - January Healthy Social Fitness Behaviors Leader: Ask your Soldiers to think of good social fitness habits Healthy behaviors demonstrate RESPECT for one’s self, others and their cultures or beliefs: – “Standards and Discipline” – follow laws and regulations – Be honest, candid and maintain personal INTEGRITY – Be sensitive to others – HONOR commitments to Family, fellow Soldiers and unit – Practice RESPECT of others – Show RESPECT for the beliefs, opinions, property and space of others – Have PERSONAL COURAGE to act on behalf of others when they do not have the ability or the capacity to act on their own – Know your community and your responsibilities – be a good citizen – Develop a confident, positive attitude

NYARNG Family Programs Office, (877) or – Director of Psychological Health (DPH), (518) – Military Family Life Consultant (MFLC), (518) – Military OneSource (NYARNG Representative), (518) – Sexual Assault Response Coordinator (SARC), (518) State Chaplain’s Office, (518) Military OneSource, (800) or Vets4Warriors peer support line, (855) / (855)VET-TALK, Social (Self Awareness) - January Available Resources Leader: Reviews available resources and remind Soldiers that seeking them is not a sign of weakness but part of fitness