1. Resiliency
Detect Icebergs

2. Mission and Vision
Mission: Implements the Comprehensive Soldier Fitness Program, identifies and trains Master Resiliency Trainers (MRTs) and commences annual resiliency sustainment training in order to enhance overall performance, improve unit level readiness, and sustain a balanced, healthy, campaign capable, expeditionary army
End state: Will improve unit readiness and performance by implementing the Resiliency Training program. The end state will see a more balanced, healthy and capable Brigade Combat Team

3. Task, Conditions, Standards
Task: Learn that deep beliefs may be operating when an emotion or reaction seems out of proportion to what you’re thinking in the heat of the moment.
Conditions: Within a classroom/small group environment and 90 minute timeframe.
Standards: Understand that self-awareness is a primary target of Detect Icebergs

4. Detect Icebergs
MRT Trainer Instructions:
Introduce Detect Icebergs.

5. Detect Icebergs: Key Principles
An internal skill: Use it to understand and control your own ER (Emotions, Reactions).
Choose the depth: It’s your choice about how deep you go. Stop when it feels right to.
Thinking Traps vs. Icebergs: Thinking Traps (TTs) are narrow; Icebergs are deep.
Sometimes Icebergs drive our TTs.
What not Why: “What” questions lead to
depth; “Why” questions lead to defensiveness.
Self-awareness: Detect Icebergs builds
all of the MRT competencies; Self-awareness
is a primary target.
MRT Trainer Instructions:
Review the key principles.
Ask for questions or comments.
Clarify any misconceptions.
Ask participants if there are any other key principles they would add to the list.
Reinforce that this is an internal skill that they will use for themselves, but they will practice it with a partner in order to facilitate the learning process.
Mention that Detect Icebergs is about going vertical when you otherwise might go lateral (think of related events rather than identify what’s really going on).
Emphasize that this allows you to have the “right fight” with someone because it helps you to figure out what’s really going on for you (it’s not about the sneeze).
Point out that the skill lowers the intensity of emotions because it leads to a greater understanding about the causes of a reaction and helps you to be thoughtful rather than reactive.
Key Points:
Detect Icebergs helps to build the MRT competency of Self-awareness.

6. Bottom Line Up Front Detect Icebergs helps to build Self-awareness.
Identifying Iceberg Beliefs allows us to reinforce or change them.
Knowing that they’ve been activated gives us control over our Emotions and Reactions.
Effective Soldiers stay in control under tough circumstances.
MRT Trainer Instructions:
Review the B.L.U.F. statements.
Ask for questions/comments.
Key Points:
Detect Icebergs helps to build Self-awareness.
Identifying Iceberg Beliefs allows you to change them.
Knowing your Icebergs gives you greater control over your Emotions and Reactions.
Controlled Soldiers keep their Icebergs under control.

7. Indicators that Detect Icebergs Would Be Helpful
Your emotions are out of proportion to what you’re thinking in the heat of the moment.
The intensity of your reaction surprises or confuses you.
You notice strong Thinking Trap patterns.
MRT Trainer Instructions:
Point out that the out-of-proportion emotion does not have to be anger. It could be sadness, anxiety, etc.
Point out that the out-of-proportion reactions can include ruminating. They do not have to be huge or violent reactions.
Ask participants for one or two brief examples of a situation when the emotion was out of proportion to what they were thinking in the heat of the moment.
Give an example of how a strong Thinking Trap might indicate the Iceberg. For example, Them, Them, Them might indicate the Iceberg, “People can’t be trusted,” and Me, Me, Me might indicate the Iceberg, “I am never good enough.”

8. Surface Thoughts vs. Iceberg Beliefs
Surface Thoughts: Are on the surface of our awareness–we can easily “tune in” to them
Iceberg Beliefs: Are deeper rules for how the world “should” operate, assumptions about ourselves and others, core values
MRT Trainer Instructions:
Review the distinction between Surface Thoughts and Iceberg Beliefs.
Tell participants that Surface Thoughts are what we typically identify with the ATC model.
Tell participants that Iceberg Beliefs develop over time and are typically rules and very strongly held beliefs.
Make clear that Iceberg Beliefs are not always bad, wrong, or in need of being changed.
Key Points:
Surface Thoughts are what we are thinking. They are top of mind and easy to identify.
Iceberg Beliefs are not fully in our awareness but we can learn to identify them.

9. Examples of Iceberg Beliefs
I am strong.
People can’t be trusted.
The world is a dangerous place.
People should be treated with dignity and respect.
Asking for help is a sign of weakness.
Going to a counselor means you’re not a real Soldier.
Civilians don’t understand the Soldier/Army.
???
MRT Trainer Instructions:
Review the list with participants and ask participants to identify two or three other Iceberg Beliefs.

10. Sunday is Football Day
Private Smith returned from deployment six weeks ago. As he’s sitting down to watch Sunday afternoon football with his son, his wife reminds him that the sink is still leaking. Smith thinks to himself, “It’s just a small leak. I’ll fix it later.” Smith becomes enraged, gets in his wife’s face, and yells “Back OFF!”
MRT Trainer Instructions:
Ask a participant to read the scenario on the slide.

11. ATC AE (who, what, when, where): Thoughts: Consequences:
Ask yourself: Is my reaction helping or harming?
Thoughts:
What he said to himself in the heat of the moment
Consequences:
ER: Emotions, Reactions
MRT Trainer Instructions:
Ask participants to describe the Activating Event, Private Smith’s heat-of-the-moment Thoughts, and the Consequences.
A: Sit down to watch the football game with son. Wife says, “The sink is still leaking.”
T: “It’s just a small leak. I’ll get to it later.”
C: Emotions: Wild anger; Reactions: Get up in her face and yell, “WTF, back off!”

12. Private Smith calls his “bad friend.”
Smith: Hey, I almost didn’t get a chance to watch the game. Things got pretty ugly over here. My wife started harping on me about fixing the sink. Do you believe her? What’s her problem?
Friend: Yeah, no kidding. She knows that Sunday is your football day.
Friend: It’s just one day a week. She should really let up. Don’t you have a long “honey-do” list besides that?
Friend: Why didn’t she get your son to do it? Is she babying him?
MRT Trainer Instructions:
Play the role of Private Smith and select a volunteer to play the role of the “bad friend.”
Ask the participant playing the friend to read the lines on the slide.
Smith: Hey, I almost didn’t get a chance to watch the game. Things got pretty ugly over here. My wife started harping on me about fixing the sink. Do you believe her? What’s her problem?
Friend: Yeah, no kidding. She knows that Sunday is your football day.
Smith: Knows it? I might as well have it tattooed on my forehead. She knows I love my team and I haven’t been able to watch them.
Friend: It’s just one day a week. She should really let up. Don’t you have a long “honey-do” list besides that?   
Smith: Yeah, nothing got done while I was away. The door needs painting, the grass wasn’t cut, and the new garage shelves are still sitting in the box waiting for me to put them together. The place looks like a hellhole.
Friend: Why didn’t she get your son to do it? Is she babying him?
Smith: I don’t know. She won’t give me any space. I just want to take a few hours and watch the game.

13. Private Smith calls his “good friend.”
Smith: Hey, I almost didn’t get a chance to watch the game. Things got pretty ugly over here. My wife started harping on me about fixing the sink. Do you believe her? What’s her problem?
Friend: Man, that’s rough.
Friend: What was the worst part about that whole situation for you?
Friend: Assuming that’s true (that she knows Sundays are your football day), what’s so upsetting about that?
MRT Trainer Instructions:
Play the role of Private Smith and select a volunteer to play the role of the “good friend.”
Ask the participant playing the friend to read the lines on the slide.
Smith: Hey, I almost didn’t get a chance to watch the game. Things got pretty ugly over here. My wife started harping on me about fixing the sink. Do you believe her? What’s her problem?
Friend : Man, that’s rough.
Smith: Yeah, I just wanted a break to watch the game, and she wouldn’t let up. All of a sudden I found myself right up in her face.
Friend: What was the worst part about that whole situation for you?
Smith: She knows that Sundays are my football day.
Friend: Assuming that’s true (that she knows Sundays are your football day), what’s so upsetting about that?
Smith: I do so many things around the house. She harps on the one thing I haven’t done.

14. Private Smith calls his “good friend.” (Continued)
Friend: Assuming she harps on the one thing you haven’t done, what does that mean to you?
Friend: What’s the worst part about her not appreciating you?
Friend: Assuming it’s true that she doesn’t respect who you are as a husband and father, what does that mean to you?
MRT Trainer Instructions:
Continue the role-play with the “good friend.”
Friend: Assuming she harps on the one thing you haven’t done, what does that mean to you?
Smith: She’s not appreciating the things I do. She doesn’t appreciate me.
Friend: What’s the worst part of her not appreciating you?
Smith: If she doesn’t appreciate what I bring to the table, she doesn’t respect who I am as a husband and a father.
Friend: Assuming that’s true, what does that mean to you?
Smith: She’s not respecting me. If you’ve earned respect, then people should respect you.

15. To Detect Icebergs Use “What” not “Why” questions.
Ask the questions in any order.
Repeat back the belief that came before.
Stop when the Iceberg explains the Consequences or you’re close enough.
MRT Trainer Instructions:
Review the four “What” questions.
Ask participants for their thoughts on the value of What questions instead of “Why” questions.
Underscore that “What” questions lead to curiosity, reflection, and openness and “Why” questions lead to defensiveness and rationalization.
Explain that participants should anchor each question with the last response.
Remind participants to use the gut check when determining when to stop. Ask yourself if the Iceberg explains the intense reaction.
Tell participants that they can stop asking the questions whenever they feel they got close enough to the Iceberg. They have control over how deep to go.
Key Points:
You can identify your Iceberg Beliefs by asking yourself four simple “What” questions.
The “What” questions help you to be curious about what triggered your strong reaction whereas “Why” questions tend to lead to defensiveness or rationalization.
What is the most upsetting part of that for me?
What does that mean to me?
What is the worst part of that for me?
Assuming that is true, what about that is so upsetting to me?

16. What are your Iceberg Beliefs?
You have three minutes.
Come up with as many Iceberg Beliefs of your own as you can.
MRT Trainer Instructions:
Refer participants to the Participant Guide.
Remind participants that not all Iceberg Beliefs are bad or counterproductive.
MRT Activity Instructions:
Participants write as many of their own Iceberg Beliefs as they can.

17. Once you’ve identified your Iceberg, ask yourself:
Is this Iceberg helping or harming me in this situation?
Is this Iceberg something I still believe/value?
Is this Iceberg accurate in this situation?
MRT Trainer Instructions:
Emphasize that once the Iceberg has been identified they can ask themselves questions to evaluate whether the Iceberg is helpful, whether it is something still valued, and whether it is accurate in the situation at hand.
As of 4 Oct 2010

18. When is Detect Icebergs needed?
AE (who, what, when, where): Bob’s brother moves his grill to a new location.
Thoughts:
What he said to himself in the heat of the moment
Consequences:
ER: Emotions, Reactions
Bob thinks, “It would have been nice for him to ask me first.”
Intense sadness. Becomes withdrawn from family for several hours.
MRT Trainer Instructions:
Ask participants to point out when the skill of Detect Icebergs is needed in the example provided.
In this example, explain that Detect Icebergs is needed because the Emotions and Reactions are out of proportion to the Thoughts.

19. When is Detect Icebergs needed?
AE (who, what, when, where): Marc’s buddy is late for a planned workout session.
Thoughts:
What he said to himself in the heat of the moment
Consequences:
ER: Emotions, Reactions
Marc thinks, “I wonder what happened.”
Extreme anxiety, heart palpitations. Called friend’s cell phone repeatedly.
MRT Trainer Instructions:
Ask participants to point out when the skill of Detect Icebergs is needed in the example provided.
In this example, explain that Detect Icebergs is needed because the Emotions and Reactions are out of proportion to the Thoughts.

20. When is Detect Icebergs needed?
AE (who, what, when, where): Someone cuts you off on the highway.
Thoughts:
What he said to himself in the heat of the moment
Consequences:
ER: Emotions, Reactions
You think, “He could have killed me!”
Strong anger. You tell your spouse about it when you get home.
MRT Trainer Instructions:
Ask participants to point out when the skill of Detect Icebergs is needed in the example provided.
In this example, explain that Detect Icebergs is not needed because the Emotions and Reactions are not out of proportion to the Thoughts.

21. Detect Icebergs Practice
Activity:
Practice the skill using the worksheet. Take turns in the “coach” role.
Total recommended time: 65 mins
Setup: 5 mins
Practice: 45 mins
Debrief: 15 mins
MRT Trainer Instructions:
Refer participants to the Participant Guide.
Describe the activity for Detect Icebergs.
Remind participants to refer to the Activating Events worksheet for situations to work with.
MRT Activity Instructions:
Participants work with partners.
Participants select an Activating Event where Detect Icebergs would be useful (one in which their emotions and/or reactions seemed out of proportion to their Thoughts), then identify Thoughts and Consequences.
Participants ask “What” questions until they have identified the Iceberg and then reflect on the usefulness and/or accuracy of the Iceberg in the situation at hand.

22. Detect Icebergs: Debrief
What did you learn through this exercise?
What was it like to use the “What” questions?
How did being asked “What” questions affect your ability to explore your beliefs?
MRT Trainer Instructions:
Ask participants what they learned through this activity and record critical points on a flip chart.
Encourage the participants to talk about what it was like asking the “What” questions and how it felt to be asked the “What” questions.
Reiterate that asking “What” questions can be difficult because our tendency is to ask “Why” questions or to try to solve the problem.
Reiterate that this is an internal skill.
As of 4 Oct 2010

23. Applications
How do your Icebergs contribute to your effectiveness in the Army and your family?
How do your Icebergs undercut your effectiveness in the Army and your family?
How can you use the skill of Detect Icebergs to make yourself a better Soldier, friend, or family member?
How do Icebergs get in the way of you asking for help if and when you need it?
MRT Trainer Instructions:
Discuss the application ideas generated by the participants.
Remind participants to record application ideas on the Applications page in the Participant Guide.
Be certain to explore the final question on the slide and leave enough time for discussing Icebergs that interfere with asking for help (such as “Asking for help means you’re weak,” or “Asking for help means you failed.”).
Engage the participants in a time-limited conversation about how they can help to challenge Army cultural Icebergs about asking for help by modeling asking for help from other Soldiers.

24. Check on Learning
What is the skill? Detect Icebergs is used to identify and evaluate deep beliefs or values that are driving our Emotions and Reactions.
When do I use it? Use Detect Icebergs when your Reaction seems out of proportion and is undermining your performance or effectiveness. Use it with others only when an appropriate relationship exists.
How do I use it? Ask yourself the series of “What” questions to identify the Iceberg. Once the Iceberg is identified, ask yourself questions regarding the usefulness, accuracy, and flexibility of the belief.
MRT Trainer Instructions:
Ask each question. (Note that the slide builds.)
Check to make sure the participants are giving accurate answers.
Clarify misconceptions as necessary.

25. Resiliency
Questions