Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings PowerPoint® Lecture Slide Presentation prepared by Michael Hall 5 Healthy Relationships: Communicating Effectively with Friends, Family, and Significant Others

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Objectives Discuss ways to improve communication skills. Explain characteristics of intimate relationships. Discuss similarities and differences between men and women in communication styles and in how they make decisions. Discuss the barriers to intimate relationships and factors that inhibit successful communication. Discuss the importance of commitment, honesty, and mutual respect in relationships. Examine factors that are important in determining the success of an intimate relationship. Discuss factors that affect life decisions. Describe signs of relationship decline and where to get help with relationship problems.

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings The Communication Process: Getting Started Difficulties in communication: Expressing how we feel Worrying about how others will react to what we have to say The language is complex Different cultures

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Symbolism in Communication “Communication” – talking and listening, sending messages with words or your body; the symbolic process of shared meanings Symbols include: Words or verbal expressions Facial expressions Vocal tone Eye contact Gestures Movement Body posture Appearance Context Spatial distance

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings How Perception Affects Communication Perception – the process by which people filter and interpret information from the senses in order to create a meaningful picture of the world Factors that affect perception: Self-concept Self-esteem

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Improving Your Communication Skills Self-disclosure Being a better listener: Competitive or combative listening Passive or attentive listening Active or reflective listening Nonverbal communication Expressing difficult feelings

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Communicating Assertively Types of communicators: Assertive Nonassertive Aggressive

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Establishing a Proper Climate Steps to engage in an open conversation: Watch judgmental statements Keep an open mind Avoid lecturing or projecting superiority Don’t ask for feedback unless you want an honest answer Avoid people who tend to give negative feedback

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Managing Conflict Conflict – an emotional state that arises when the behavior of one person interferes with the behavior of another Conflict resolution strategies: Focus on one topic at a time Stop the action and cool down Be specific in your criticisms and praises Learn to “edit” what you say Think about possible solutions Never think in terms of winning an argument

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Characterizing and Forming Intimate Relationships Four characteristics of intimate relationships Behavioral interdependence Need fulfillment Emotional attachment Emotional availability

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Families: The Ties That Bind Family of origin – people present in the household during a child’s first years of life Nuclear family – consists of parents and their offspring

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Establishing Relationships Components of a good friendship: Enjoyment Acceptance Mutual trust Respect Mutual assistance Confiding Understanding Spontaneity

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Significant Others, Partners, Couples Most partners fit in one of the four categories: Married heterosexual couples Cohabitating heterosexual couples Lesbian couples Gay male couples Include all the characteristics of friendship in addition to: Fascination Exclusiveness Sexual desire Giving the utmost Being a champion or advocate

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Figure 5.1 Common Bonds of Friends and Lovers Figure 5.1

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings This Thing Called Love Two types of love: Compassionate Passionate “The Triangular Theory of Love”: Intimacy Passion Decision/commitment

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Figure 5.2 Common Experiences of Love Figure 5.2

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Gender Issues in Relationships Genderlect – differences in word choices, interruption patterns, questioning patterns, language interpretations and misinterpretations, and vocal influences based on gender

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Figure 5.3 Troubles Talk: How Men and Women Respond Figure 5.3.1

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Figure 5.3 Troubles Talk: How Men and Women Respond (continued) Figure 5.3.2

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Picking Partners Proximity Similarities Reciprocity Physical attraction

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Sharing Feelings Communication between couples: Leveling Editing Documenting Validating

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Overcoming Barriers to Intimacy Barriers to communication: Differences in background Alcohol and drugs Dysfunctional families Jealousy in relationships: Overdependence on the relationship High value on sexual exclusivity Low self-esteem Fear of losing control

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Committed Relationships Marriage Monogamy Serial monogamy Open relationship Cohabitation Common-law marriage Gay and lesbian partnerships

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Success in Relationships Partnering scripts Being self-nurturing: Accountability Confronting couples issues: Changing gender roles Sharing power

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Figure 5.5a Effects of Women’s Age and Ethnicity on Marriage Success Figure 5.5a

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Figure 5.5b Effects of Women’s Age and Ethnicity on Marriage Success (continued) Figure 5.5b

Copyright © 2006 Pearson Education, Inc., publishing as Benjamin Cummings Building Better Relationships Elements of healthy relationships: Trust Behavior interpretation in the context of the relationship Like your partner Sexual intimacy Shared and cherished history