INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION The transfer of information from one person to another, both verbally and non-verbally. 75% of our waking hours are spent communicating.

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS… Of a message, 7% of it is verbally communicated… …and 93% is nonverbally communicated.

NOT OPPOSITES… Verbal and nonverbal communication are intricately interwoven. If nonverbal cues do not match the tone and implication of the spoken word, the flow of communication is hindered. The receiver of the message tends to base the intention of the sender on the nonverbal cues he receives. In effect, a miscommunication from the sender results in a misinterpretation of the receiver.

VERBAL COMMUNICATION Verbal communication is organized by language. Therefore, follow the Do’s and Don’ts of sending messages Prescription for clear reception of messages

DO’S AND DON’TS OF SENDING MESSAGES… Do speak clearly and slowly. Do maintain eye contact. Do pay attention to tone, tempo, and pitch to ensure you are conveying the correct message. Do try to leave out extra emotions.

…..cont Don’t use meaningless words or expressions intermittently that distorts your message. Don’t use phrases that lessen a person’s verbal image such as “you know what I mean” or “sort of.” Don’t use harsh phrases such as “you don’t understand” or “you’re wrong” which downplay the intellectual capability of the listener.

Effective Reception… The key to effective reception of messages is effective listening. Listening is a skill that can be learned to enhance clarity in message exchange. We spend 50% more time listening than we do talking. Better listening skills develop better speaking skills because of awareness.

INEFFECTIVE LISTENING… Without listening to details and context, important information can be left out. Conflicts then arise. Overlooked information inhibits solutions and results in lost business time and revenue. Personal relationships will deteriorate.

HOW TO LISTEN EFFECTIVELY… Eye contact is a number one priority for focus. It lets the other person know you are paying attention. Beneficial Listening: This means nodding or interjecting phrases such as “right” allows the speaker to know you are following his train of thought. Try not to translate what is being said into what you want to hear: self-fulfilling prophecy. Pay attention to nonverbal cues.

REAL COMMUNICATION… Real communication occurs when we listen with understanding from the other person’s point of view. Test yourself with a series of questions such as “what did I learn from the other person?” or “who did more talking and listening?” Evaluate your answers and decide how to improve your communication next time.

NOT FOR EVERYONE…… Effective listening is not for everyone. To deal with the non-effective listener, clarify what you want to say prior to speaking. If your ideas are clear, the listener is more likely to be receptive. Before meeting, give the to-be-listener an idea of what you want to discuss.

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION Nonverbal communication is organized by body language, the oldest language. Education teaches us to prefer using words, so we tend to overlook the impact of nonverbal cues. Body language involves holding or moving your body to give or receive information. Words can be manipulated, but gestures are harder to control. When in doubt, trust the nonverbal message.

…cont Nonverbal communication includes facial expressions, eye contact, tone of voice, body posture and motions, and even silence. Of the 93% of nonverbal communication… 55% is through facial expressions… …and 38% is through vocal tones.

EVOLVED BODY LANGUAGE Two types of body language evolved from evolution: 1. Open body language: open hands and unfold arms to show you mean the other person no harm. In the past, it was used to show there were no weapons being concealed. 2. Closed body language: we are physically showing we are hiding something or are not open to what the other person is saying. Open body language is preferable to cooperation, negotiation, and open-mindedness.

FACIAL EXPRESSIONS… Facial expressions continually change throughout conversation and are monitored constantly by the recipient. They are primarily used to communicate emotions. Evidence proves there are similarities across cultures.

COMMUNICATION THROUGH EYES… Nonverbal communication is always revealed through the eyes. Normal eye contact means communication is open. Looking down indicates rejection. Avoiding eye contact suggests that the person is not comfortable with the conversation’s topic or the other person. Stares can indicate dislike. A person may be sincere if the eyes move upward when discussing stories about the past, for eyes move upward to retrieve information. However, if the eyes move side to side when recalling information, the person is likely to be lying.

COMMUNICATION THROUGH TOUCH… Creates a more direct message. Used improperly, it creates barriers of mistrust. Touch conveys the emotional impact of the message as well as context. In conjunction, personal space is a nonverbal tool. The higher your position, the more and better space you will have and the easier it will be to invade the territory of a lower-status person.

YEAH OR NAY… Nonverbal communication indicates whether one approves or rejects the message. If the speaker shifts positions, and the listener shifts to match the speaker’s position, he is silently signaling approval. In contrast, rejection positions include folded arms, crossed legs, or body turned away from the speaker.

SILENCE SPEAKS… Silence can have a positive or negative impact on the communication process. It can provide a peaceful situation by signaling agreement or create tension and uneasiness.