A TTACHMENT : W HAT W E N EED T O K NOW Becky Chopp

A TTACHMENT Children with a secure attachment have feelings about being secure, have self confidence, seek out peer relationships or interactions, and are connected to the world around them. Children who do not have secure attachments are anxious, worried, aggressive, don’t like to seek out peer relationships or interactions and may even carry around fear.

W HAT IS A TTACHMENT ? Attachment is not only the feeling of affection for a person but is the basis to our positive interactions throughout our lives. The attachment Theory its self was created by John Bowlby, a psychologist, and was then later researched and added onto by Mary Ainsworth who was also a psychologist.

A TTACHMENT T HEORY Bowlby and Ainsworth did much research on the topic of a child forming relationships with his or her mother and caregivers. They found evidence that children attached to their mothers, fathers, and caregivers in different forms. These different forms of attachment were directly correlated with how the child acts, explores the world, and the personalities they poses as adults.

A TTACHMENT T HEORIES Bowlby and Ainsworth came up with three specific forms of the Attachment Theory However, much research has been done on attachment theory and Erik Erickson, a psychologist, renamed the original three and came up with one more form to create four important attachments that we need to know. The four attachment forms/styles are: Secure Attachment Ambivalent Attachment Avoidant Attachment Disorganized Attachment

1: S ECURE A TTACHMENT This is the “Golden” Attachment that we all strive for. It is formed by having Responsive Care from a parent or caregiver. Responsive care is when a parent or caregiver response to all of the child’s needs. What it looks like in a child and later in an adult: Child: Seeks out peer relationships Is Secure and Confident Goes to the parent for comfort Is comforted by the Parent Adult: Has high self-esteem Develops trusting relationships Seeks out Social Support

2: A MBIVALENT A TTACHMENT It is formed from the result of poor availability, meaning the parent/caregiver is inconsistent with helping meet the child’s needs. What it looks like in a child and later in an adult: Child: Is easy to distress Does not prefer a parent over a stranger Usually is not comforted by a parent Adult: Has trouble getting close to others Worries about not being loved Is distraught when relationships end

3: A VOIDANT A TTACHMENT It is formed from non-responsive care, meaning the parents/caregivers do not respond to the child. What it looks like as a child and later as an adult: Child: Is aggressive Doesn’t look for relationships Has a lack of empathy Adult: Has problems with intimacy Puts little emotional investment into relationships Is unable to share feelings with others

4: D ISORGANIZED A TTACHMENT It is formed from threatening/abusive care from a parent or caregiver Not even 20% of people have this form of attachment What it looks like as a child and later as an adult: Child: Is confused and anxious Is apprehensive Acts as the caregiver Adult: Keep the role of the parent throughout life May have dissociative disorders Has the inability to form attachments to others

H OW TO S TRIVE FOR S ECURE A TTACHMENT First we need to build secure attachment by: Having realistic expectations about being a parent Having knowledge about our child’s development Having social support from others Recognizing our own relationships and histories

O PTIMAL C ONDITIONS FOR S ECURE A TTACHMENT Having positive interactions Responding to child’s needs Understand the positive messages we have received about helping our children learn and embracing them Love, respect, and take care of your child in a positive manner with the help of others.

W HAT EVERY P ARENT S HOULD K NOW ABOUT THEIR K IDS It is never to late to try and form secure attachments. Children come into this world underdeveloped and parents/caregivers take on the responsibility to help children learn, strive, and support them. Children’s brains are very flexible and can be molded in the way we want and it is not to late to help children learn positive interactions.

W ORKS C ITED Molly Minkkinen John Bowlby Mary Ainsworth Erick Erickson