Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict The Pearls Skill Focus: Communications & Managing Conflict Kiki Maurey OBE Executive Coach & Speaker

Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict developing your leadership skills Being an effective leader means developing the ability to communicate the business and/or change agenda, thereby positively unifying a group of people around a clear set of values and measurable goals.

Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict you cannot NOT communicate Communication is a complex set of signals and modes of human interaction. We cannot but communicate constantly, not just via speaking and writing, but also our use of body language, our ability to listen, to understand, to empathise, to exchange information. GREAT COMMUNICATIONS POOR COMMUNICATIONS CONFLICT & POOR MORALE

Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict Negotiation & influence – Kiki: “The power to maximise mutually positive outcomes through a process of engagement, discussion and mutual understanding.” Conflict - Thomas and Kilman: “The condition in which people’s concerns – the things they care about – appear to be incompatible.” the overall AIM of communication?... … to INFLUENCE AN OUTCOME OR A GOAL. GREAT COMMUNICATIONS POOR COMMUNICATIONS CONFLICT & POOR MORALE

Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict taking responsibility Two options when your message doesn’t get through: 1.Blame people for being stupid, insensitive or somehow unreasonable, or 1.Take responsibility and change the way you communicate your message. GREAT COMMUNICATIONS POOR COMMUNICATIONS CONFLICT & POOR MORALE

Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict conflict - perspectives Personality clashes Stress eg sustained peak performance!! Heavy workloads / inadequate resources Poor leadership / management Lack of honesty and openness Lack of clarity eg role, boundaries and accountability Lack of creativity, meaning and autonomy Cultural factors eg values and expectations

Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict how confident are you? fzfgzfgzg

Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict communicating and negotiating… reflections 10mins on your individual experiences: one interaction that went well one interaction that went wrong

Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict dealing with difficult conversations Managing conflict: What are the different approaches? GREAT COMMUNICATIONS POOR COMMUNICATIONS CONFLICT & POOR MORALE

Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict 3. DOMINATING Imposing or dictating – win-lose Going all out to win Ignoring the needs & expectations of the other 4. COMPROMISING Soft bargaining Taking turns Moderating conclusions - smaller win-win 2. OBLIGING Doing a favour – lose-win Being persuaded Obeying authority Deferring & Appeasing 5. INTEGRATING Reconciling – big win-win Combining insights, sharing information, Openness Richer understanding 1. AVOIDING Avoiding people – lose-lose Avoiding issues Postponing discussion C O N C E R N F O R O T H E R S CONCERNFORSELFCONCERNFORSELF your default style?

Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict 1.prepare perspectives and objectives 2.‘stay in the moment’ and remain calm and assertive 3.don’t take things personally 4.use positive language 5.listen / redirect and defuse their anger 6.turn things around / encourage perspective 7.get them to own their solutions (own the moan!) 7 essentials for dealing with negative people

Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict 12 people are more likely to say ‘ yes ’ when… they like, identify with and trust you! they’ve put considerable investment into the discussions they’ve had a chance to explore‘what’s in it for them!’ you’ve made minor concessions or trade-offs you’ve engaged and involved them throughout the process

Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict 13 people are more likely to say ‘ no ’ when … they think it's been done before it's possibly a new and daunting idea they feel threatened by change they don't understand your idea they’d rather take your idea for themselves they don't like you, trust you, or can’t relate to you it's just a bad idea, or maybe… it’s a great idea presented in a bad way!

Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict Source: Rahim (2002) model of conflict styles – offers two overarching attitudes: Your level of concern for yourself and your own needs and wants, and Your level of concern for others, their needs and concerns. Choose someone to discuss the model with, and complete the review over the page. Be honest - perhaps think about a current issue, and how your review might improve your future approach. Think about how you could improve your communicating, influencing and conflict management style. reviewing your style

Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict conflict reduction: some simple rules Use perception to understand where they are coming from, and what might be a win-win Establish your goal and ideal outcomes, seek creative outcomes Don’t put it off by sweeping difficult conversations under the carpet

Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict conflict reduction: some simple rules SELF-MANAGEMENT: being over-emotional (caring-too-much) being in too much of a rush (not-thinking- enough) Communicate, adapt the message, communicate, adapt the message… Engage brain B4 mouth: Design ‘the message / communication’ for maximum positive impact

Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict ‘in-a-nutshell’ great communicators & influencers… Tell stories, paint mental pictures, illustrate with anecdotes Remain empathetic, and positive (conflict is ‘emotional’) Rehearse their style and approach (brain training!) Remember their posture, gestures, demeanour Not only listen, but ask questions, take notes and feed back Allow the other side to give their perspective or to tell ‘their stories’ If you disagree do it more like this “… from my perspective, limited as it may be, I see things this way…” CONFLICT & POOR MORALE GREAT COMMUNICATIONS

Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict any reflections and actions? "Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." Thomas Edison

Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict