1. Effective Communication

2. There are two essential skills for effective communication: 1) THE ABILITY TO LISTENING IMPECCABLY in order to demonstrate that you understand the thoughts, feelings, and needs of others. Once individuals feel that they have been understood, they often calm down. This will de-escalate the situation and you can get on to problem solving. 2) THE ABILITY TO ARTICULATE YOUR OWN POSITION CLEARLY AND DIRECTLY, and having the awareness of self to accurately report thoughts, feelings, ideas, and preferences. This skill ensures that you set boundaries as to how people treat you.

3.  On average, we remember 25% - 50% of what we hear  How well you listen has a major impact on your academic and professional effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships with others

4.  Requires a high level of self-awareness  Important to analyse and understand your communication strengths, weaknesses and overall style  An important skill that can be practiced  There are five key elements of active listening

5. Give your undivided attention, and acknowledge the message. Recognize that non-verbal communication also “speaks” loudly.  Look at the speaker directly  Put aside distracting thoughts  Don’t mentally prepare a rebuttal  Avoid being distracted by environmental factors  Be aware of the speaker’s body language

6. Use your own body language and gestures to convey your attention.  Nod  Smile and use other facial expressions (when appropriate)  Note your posture; make sure it is open and inviting  Encourage the speaker to continue with verbal prompts (“yes” “I see” “Uh huh”)

7. Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear. The listener’s role is to understand what is being said. Reflect and ask questions.  Reflect what has been said by paraphrasing  Ask questions to clarify  Summarize the speaker’s comments periodically.

8. Interrupting is a waste of time. It frustrates the speaker and limits full understanding of the message.  Allow the speaker to finish each point before asking questions  Don’t interrupt with counter arguments

9. Active listening is a model for respect and understanding. You are gaining information and perspective. You add nothing by attacking the speaker or otherwise putting him or her down.  Be candid, open, and honest in your response  Assert your opinion respectfully  Treat the other person in a way that you think he or she would want to be treated

10.  Pair up with one of your classmates – preferably someone with whom you seldom speak  Take turns asking any two questions you chose. The questions may be general or personal. The person being asked the question has the “right to pass” on any question  Continue taking turns (two by two), until each has asked and answered ten questions  Make a deliberate effort to use the five listening skills outlined in this note throughout this process  After all questions have been asked and answered, take one minute to summarize what you’ve learned about your partner