Attraction and Mate-Selection Theories Copyright © 2011 McGraw-Hill Ryerson, ISBN: 9780070739734

Theories of Attraction and Mate Selection There are several theories that can be used to explain the attraction between individuals and the unconscious choices people make when they choose a spouse or partner Explain that mate selection theories can be used to explain how couples make mate choices based on the concept of romantic love Copyright © 2011 McGraw-Hill Ryerson, ISBN: 9780070739734

Evolutionary Psychology Evolutionary psychology, explains that sexual attraction can be traced to our prehistoric ancestors The “best” or most advantageous physical traits (fit, strong, fats, child-bearing) are found to be attractive Most attractive = most likely to survive and therefore reproduce for generations Explain that this theory relates closely to the theory of natural selection—that those who choose a partner wisely are able to pass on their genes and ensure their bloodline continues— “those who fail to mate, fail to become ancestors” Copyright © 2011 McGraw-Hill Ryerson, ISBN: 9780070739734

Did we inherit the habits of our ancestors? Evolutionary psychologists studied evidence collected from around the world and have determined that adaptive behaviours helped ensure the birth and survival of offspring Women chose mates with resources and who could be good providers Men chose mates who could bear and feed children Copyright © 2011 McGraw-Hill Ryerson, ISBN: 9780070739734

Sexual Attraction Today Studies reveal individuals are still attracted to the person that can help them raise the most successful children: Men attracted to physically appealing, younger women (implies fertility) Women attracted to older, financially secure men (implies a good provider) However, in all cultures, “men and women wanted mates who were intelligent, kind, understanding, dependable, and healthy” (Buss, 2007) Individuals do not consciously think in these terms, but studies show we continue to choose mates that ensure the success of our children Copyright © 2011 McGraw-Hill Ryerson, ISBN: 9780070739734

Copyright © 2011 McGraw-Hill Ryerson, ISBN: 9780070739734 Social Homogamy This theory explains that individuals are attracted to people from similar social and cultural backgrounds Attractiveness is influenced by similar social positions (age, race, ethnic background, religion, socio-economic status, and political views (Buss, 1994, 2007)) Physical sameness is also variable in attraction Copyright © 2011 McGraw-Hill Ryerson, ISBN: 9780070739734

Copyright © 2011 McGraw-Hill Ryerson, ISBN: 9780070739734 Some might find this theory offensive due to the fact that some may consider race a factor when choosing a mate. However, in multicultural countries like Canada many second generation immigrants are more likely to marry someone from another culture or race Social homogamy can also be used to explain the attraction between two people who are from different ethnic backgrounds but are born or socialized in the same socio-economic environment. Copyright © 2011 McGraw-Hill Ryerson, ISBN: 9780070739734

Copyright © 2011 McGraw-Hill Ryerson, ISBN: 9780070739734 Ideal Mate Theory This theory states that attraction is based on an individual’s unconscious image of the “ideal mate” Image of ideal mate develops from what person that are formed from their perceptions of the physical, cultural, and socio-economic factors they value Based on compatibility and romantic love Copyright © 2011 McGraw-Hill Ryerson, ISBN: 9780070739734

Copyright © 2011 McGraw-Hill Ryerson, ISBN: 9780070739734 Love at first sight? Supports the concept of love at first sight because everyone has an unconscious ideal of what is attractive and lovable in a mate What is attractive is formed from both good and bad experiences a person has with other people, our family, and even media personalities we are familiar with We form our perceptions about what is ideal based on past experiences, both good and bad. That means intimate relationships we have in high school, television/movie personalities that exhibit qualities we value, and our perceptions of how a boyfriend or girlfriend might look and act toward us all shape our unconscious ideal mate Copyright © 2011 McGraw-Hill Ryerson, ISBN: 9780070739734

What are some characteristics that you find attractive in a person? Have a discussion of some characteristics we might look for and others that would be ‘deal breakers’ Copyright © 2011 McGraw-Hill Ryerson, ISBN: 9780070739734

Opposites Attract?

Complimentary Needs Theory Opposites Attract You are attracted to qualities, skills or resources in others that you do not possess Introvert attracted to an Extrovert Indecisive attracted to a Decision Maker

Copyright © 2011 McGraw-Hill Ryerson, ISBN: 9780070739734 Exchange Theory Exchange theory states that attraction is based on what people are really like, rather than on what is ideal It explains how individuals are attracted to different people, that is, we don’t all search for the same “ideal mate” Exchange theory tries to answer the question: What do they see in each other? This theory suggests that just because the other person might have ideal qualities, it does not ensure that they may be attractive to you – instead the focus here is on what we are really like rather on what is our perception of ideal Copyright © 2011 McGraw-Hill Ryerson, ISBN: 9780070739734

What do they see in each other? Exchange theory is based on difference between costs and rewards of relationships Costs = what you put into the relationship Rewards = what you get out of relationship If cost is more than rewards they will think about getting out of relationship May stay in a costly relationship if no other alternatives are available May explain younger woman marries an older man This theory suggests that individuals weigh the costs and benefits of the relationship—for example, younger woman marrying older man (What are the costs and benefits to the individuals in this arrangement?) Example: an attractive but shy person might attract an outgoing less physically attractive mate Copyright © 2011 McGraw-Hill Ryerson, ISBN: 9780070739734

Theory of Propinquity We marry/select people we know High school sweethearts, work, acquaintances church community, college The more often you see someone, the more likely you are to form a relationship