Individuals and Families: Diverse Perspectives Attraction and Mate-Selection Theories Individuals and Families: Diverse Perspectives Unit 3: Chapter 7

How do we select the person we marry?

Marriage in Canada Most marriages in Canada are a result of free-choice mate selection where people are attracted to one another, fall in love, and make the decision to marry Discuss how mate-selection theories can be used to explain how couples make mate choices based on the concept of romantic love. There are several theories that can be used to explain the attraction between individuals and the unconscious choices people make when they choose a spouse or partner

Evolutionary Psychology Evolutionary psychology, a branch of anthropology, explains that sexual attraction can be traced to our prehistoric ancestors Strategies that help individuals compete for limited resources to survive, reproduce, and raise children are called adaptive behaviours Discuss how this theory relates closely to the theory of natural selection—that those who choose a partner wisely are able to pass on their genes and ensure their bloodline continues—“those who fail to mate, fail to become ancestors.” These adaptive behaviours gave individuals an evolutionary advantage that allowed them to pass on their genes and culture to the next generation

Did we inherit the habits of our ancestors? behaviours helped ensure the birth and survival of offspring around the world and have determined that adaptive ● Evolutionary psychologists studied evidence collected from could be good providers ● Women chose mates who had resources and who therefore ● Men chose mates who could bear and feed children

Sexual Attraction Today Studies reveal that individuals are still attracted to the person that can help them raise the most successful children: attracted to physically appealing, younger women (implies fertility) Men attracted to older, financially secure men (implies a good provider) Women Individuals do not consciously think in these terms, but studies show we continue to choose mates who ensure the success of our children. However, in all cultures, “men and women wanted mates who were intelligent, kind, understanding, dependable, and healthy” (Buss, 2007)

Social Homogamy Explains that individuals are attracted to people from similar social and cultural backgrounds Often ensures common social, cultural, and economic values and lifestyles Research has shown a high correlation between age, race, ethnic background, religion, socio-economic status, and political views (Buss, 1994, 2007)

Social homogamy can also be used to explain the attraction between two people who are from different ethnic backgrounds but are born or socialized in the same socio-economic environment Some might find this theory offensive due to the fact that some may consider race a factor when choosing a mate. However, in multicultural countries such as Canada many second generation immigrants are more likely to marry someone from another culture or race.

Ideal Mate Theory Based on compatibility and romantic love. This theory states that attraction is based on an individual’s unconscious image of the “ideal mate” It is founded on the symbolic interactionist perspective because a person’s image of the ideal mate is formed from their perceptions of the physical, cultural, and socio-economic factors they value Based on compatibility and romantic love.

Love at first sight? Ideal mate theory supports the concept of love at first sight because everyone has an unconscious ideal of what is attractive and lovable in a mate We form our perceptions about what is ideal based on experiences, both good and bad. That means intimate relationships we have in high school, television/movie personalities who exhibit qualities we value, and our perceptions of how a boyfriend or girlfriend might look and act towards us, all shape our unconscious ideal mate. Our perceptions of what is attractive are formed from both good and bad experiences we have with other people, our family, and even media personalities we are familiar with

What are some characteristics that you find attractive in a person? Have a discussion of some characteristics we might look for and others that would be “deal breakers.”

Exchange Theory States that attraction is based on what people are really like, rather than on what is ideal It explains how individuals are attracted to different people, that is, we do not all search for the same “ideal mate” Tries to answer the question: What do they see in each other? This theory suggests that just because the other person might have ideal qualities, it does not ensure they will be attractive to you. Instead, the focus here is on what we are really like, rather on our perception of what is ideal.

What do they see in each other? Exchange theory suggests that individuals assess their resources—what they have to offer in a relationship: physical attractiveness, educational attainment, wealth, social status, or specialized interests—and look for the best possible mate who will be attracted by these resources (Small, 1995) This means that sometimes an attractive but shy person might attract an outgoing, less physically attractive mate This theory suggests that individuals weigh the costs and benefits of the relationship. In the example of a younger woman marrying an older man, what are the costs and benefits to the individuals in this arrangement?

A final word about love… Some researchers suggest couples who live and work together to raise children probably would grow to love one another regardless of how their marriage came about (Yalom, 2001) Yet, in 87 percent of all cultures, the relationships between men and women are based on romantic love (Nadeau, 1997) For the majority of couples in Canada, love is the strongest factor for attraction—romantic love.