Copyright © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 1 Adolescence 8th edition By Laurence Steinberg, Ph.D. Chapter Ten: Intimacy

Copyright © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 2 Chapter 10 Overview  What are the major theoretical perspectives on the development of intimacy?  Sullivan’s Interpersonal Theory  Erikson’s View of Intimacy  How does intimacy develop in adolescence?  How does dating and romantic relationships relate to intimacy?  How does intimacy impact psychosocial development during adolescence?

Copyright © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 3 Why Is Intimacy An Adolescent Issue?  Intimacy in adolescence does not necessarily have a sexual or physical component  True intimacy is characterized by openness, honesty, self-disclosure, and trust  Intimacy becomes an important concern because of changes including puberty, cognitive changes, and social changes  Not until adolescence do truly intimate relationships first emerge Insert DAL photo

Copyright © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 4 Theoretical Perspectives on Adolescent Intimacy Sullivan’s Theory of Interpersonal Development  Emphasized the social, rather than the biological aspects of growth, and that psychological development can be best understood in interpersonal terms  Theory focuses on transformations in relationships with others  Four stages of interpersonal needs over the course of adolescence

Copyright © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 5 Theoretical Perspectives on Adolescent Intimacy  Sullivan’s Developmental Progression  Infancy: need for contact and for tenderness  Early childhood: need for adult participation  Middle childhood: need for peers and peer acceptance  Preadolescence: need for intimacy  Early adolescence: need for sexual contact and intimacy with opposite-sex peer  Late adolescence: need for integration into adult society

Copyright © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 6 Theoretical Perspectives on Adolescent Intimacy  Erikson’s View of Intimacy  Crisis of Identity vs. Identity Diffusion is prominent during adolescence  Crisis of Intimacy vs. Isolation is prominent during early adulthood  In a truly intimate relationship, two individuals’ identities fuse, neither person’s identity is lost  Adolescents must establish a sense of identity before intimacy, or else they will experience pseudointimacy in their relationships

Copyright © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 7

8 Theoretical Perspectives on Adolescent Intimacy  Erikson and Sullivan: Conflicting Views?  Sullivan: the development of intimacy leads to the development of a coherent sense of self in late adolescence  Erikson: one must have a clear sense of who one is in order to avoid becoming lost in a relationship with someone else  Contemporary research shows that these are complementary, not competing tasks during adolescent development

Copyright © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 9 Attachment in Adolescence  Attachment is defined as a strong and enduring emotional bond (usually formed first in infancy)  Three types of attachment based on security  Secure – characterized by trust  Anxious-avoidant – characterized by indifference  Anxious-resistant – characterized by ambivalence

Copyright © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 10 Attachment in Adolescence  An “internal working model” of relationships develops during childhood  Do we feel trusting or apprehensive in relationships with others?  Do we see ourselves as worthy of others’ affection?  Working models provide a set of expectations we draw from when forming close (intimate) relationships

Copyright © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 11 How Does Intimacy Develop in Adolescence?  Changes in the Nature of Friendship  Companionship appears before adolescence  Intimacy emerges later  Early adolescence  Self-disclosure and trust emerge as dimensions of friendship

Copyright © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 12 How Does Intimacy Develop in Adolescence?  Changes in the Nature of Friendship  Conflicts that adolescents have with friends  Older adolescents typically have conflicts over private matters  Younger adolescents typically have conflicts over public disrespect

Copyright © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 13 How Does Intimacy Develop in Adolescence?  Changes in the Display of Intimacy  Adolescents become more knowledgeable about their friends  Adolescents become more responsive to close friends and less controlling  Friends become more interpersonally sensitive and show more empathy  Friends resolve conflicts more frequently by negotiation or disengagement, not coercion

Copyright © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 14 How Does Intimacy Develop in Adolescence?  Sex Differences in Intimacy  Girls’ relationships are more intimate than boys’ across many different indicators  Girls disclose more to their friends  Girls are more sensitive and empathic to friends  Girls are more concerned with trust and loyalty  Sex differences in intimacy differ across ethnic groups

Copyright © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 15 How Does Intimacy Develop in Adolescence?  Changes in the “targets” of intimacy  Sullivan hypothesized that  intimacy with peers replaced intimacy with parents  Intimacy with peers of the opposite sex replaced intimacy with same-sex friends  However, research shows that new targets of intimacy are added to old ones

Copyright © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 16 How Does Intimacy Develop in Adolescence?  Changes in the “targets” of intimacy  Teens experience different types of intimate relationships with parents and peers  Parent-adolescent relationships  Imbalance of power, teens receive advice  Adolescent peer relationships  Mutual, balanced, equal exchanges

Copyright © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 17 Dating and Romantic Relationships in Adolescence  High school dating no longer functions as mate selection, now recreational  Romantic relationships are very common, in the past 18 months  25% of 12-year-olds reported having one  50% of 15-year-olds reported having one  70% of 18-year-olds reported having one

Copyright © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 18 Dating and Romantic Relationships in Adolescence  Dating and the Development of Intimacy  Dating can mean a variety of things  Group activities involving boys and girls  Casual dating in couples  Serious involvement in a steady relationship  Transitions into and out of romantic relationships can be difficult for adolescents  Breakups are the leading cause of depression

Copyright © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 19 Dating and Romantic Relationships in Adolescence  Four Phases of Adolescent Romance  Infatuation – discover an interest in socializing with prospective romantic partners (focus on learning about oneself)  Status – focus on establishing, improving, or maintaining peer group status  Intimate – focus on beginning to establish true and meaningful attachments to romantic partners (become involved in the emotional side of romance)  Bonding – focus on commitment (not necessarily marriage) and caring more than passion and pleasure  These stages may not apply to sexual-minority youth because they are less likely to have a public relationship

Copyright © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 20 Dating and Romantic Relationships in Adolescence  Impact of Dating  Serious dating before age 15 has a stunting effect on psychosocial development  Adolescent girls who do not date at all show  retarded social development  excessive dependency on parents  feelings of insecurity

Copyright © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 21 Intimacy and Adolescent Psychosocial Development  During adolescence, friends  serve as sounding boards for future plans  provide advice on a range of identity-related matters  contribute to adolescents’ self-esteem  Individuals with satisfying close friendships do better than those without them, in adolescence and in adulthood  Psychologically healthy adolescents are better able to make and maintain close relationships with others