1. Chapter 11: Forming Relationships in Young and Middle Adulthood
Being With Others
Chapter 11: Forming Relationships in Young and Middle Adulthood
Human Development: A Life-Span View
Kail & Cavanaugh

2. Friendship
Defined as: a mutual relationship in which those involved influence one another’s behaviors and beliefs
Levinger’s Stages of Friendship
ABCDE model
Acquaintanceship
Buildup
Continuation
Deterioration
Ending—contingent on alternatives

3. Friendship Three dimensions of friendships in adulthood 1. Affective
Emotional basis
2. Communal
Mutual interest
3. Sociability & Compatibility
Entertainment/fun component

4. Siblings as Friends Special type of friendship Often longest
Strongest during adolescence and late life and weakest during middle age
Women generally place greater importance on the relationship
Family reunions/gatherings
Holidays
Caretaking and support

5. Online Friendship How does it develop?
1. Reputation—online or offline identity
2. Performance—what users do online is how others judge them
3. Precommitment—”leap of faith” through self-disclosure
4. Situational Factors—the importance of the relationship when compared to other competing factors

6. Gender Variations in Friendships
Gender variations in young adult friendships tend to show continuity in gender variations in children’s friendships
Men
Tend to have fewer close friends
Emphasis on shared activities
Confiding is in conflict with competing
Face social pressure to be brave and strong which is in conflict with emotional sharing
Women
Tend to have more close friends
Emphasis on emotional sharing and intimacy

7. Cross-Gender Friendships
Both men and women have difficulties forming cross-gender friendships
Cross-gender friendships tend to help men have lower levels of dating anxiety and a higher capacity for intimacy
Maintaining cross-sex friendships once individuals enter into exclusive dating relationships, marriage or committed relationships is difficult and often problematic
Women tend to underperceive
Men tend to overperceive

8. Romantic Relationships
Early
Often marked by high amounts of passion and infatuation
High risk of misunderstanding and jealousy
Exciting in the beginning, but not typically enough to maintain the relationship
As the relationship develops, passion decreases but commitment increases through shared experiences, support, and caring
Neurological and Life Cycle Bases of Love
High levels of dopamine during early stages of love
Switches to substances related to morphine (a narcotic) later on

9. The Theory of Assortative Mating
People select mates based on their similarity to each other
Religious beliefs
Physical traits
Age
SES
Intelligence
Political views
Couples higher in marital satisfaction tend to be similar in terms of openness to experience but not necessarily in other dimensions of personality
Healthy people tend to be with healthy people; unhealthy with other unhealthy people

10. Murstein’s Theory Stimulus Values Role
Physical appearance, social class, etc. match my own?
Values
Values regarding sex, religion, politics, etc. match my own?
Role
Ideas about the relationship, communication style, gender roles, etc. match my own?

11. Other Important Variables
Physical attractiveness is more important than once thought
Cultural variations exist
Attachment style, which is influenced by earlier relationships during infancy and childhood