Build Supportive & Diverse Relationships Chapter 12

“I never realized I would interact with so many new people in college. It’s both exciting and frightening. I’ve been so focused on planning my coursework that I’m not prepared to think beyond my own little world.”

College Attending college offers many new experiences and exposes you to a wide variety of people with different backgrounds. Throughout this process you will learn how to work with people.

Focus on Cooperation People spend 70% of their waking time communicating, listening, speaking, writing, and reading.

Communication Communication is the giving and receiving of ideas, feelings, and information. – You need to be able to listen and speak – You need to be able to find common ground. Common ground means focusing on similarities and interests – Some people are very good at making others feel comfortable

Strategies for Building Communication 1. Be willing to find a common ground. – Be honest – Don’t be judgmental. You may pretend by pasting a fake smile on your face, but this will not work. 2. Be an active listener. – Listen, don’t talk. – Put the speaker at ease. Create a supportive environment – Know when you can’t listen and tell people. 3. Pay attention to body language. – When your eyes wonder you appear bored. 4. Be respectful. 5. Use warmth and humor. 6. Relate to a person’s personality style. 7. Relate to a person’s learning or teaching style. 8. Be a team player.

Assertive Communication Assertive Communication: expressing yourself in a direct, above-board, and civil manner

Assertive Communication Passive People: – Rarely express feelings, opinions, and desires – Little self-confidence, low self-esteem, difficulty accepting compliments Aggressive People: – Sarcastic, critical, and controlling – Want to win at all costs and blame others for making them angry – Resort to insults and criticisms Passive-aggressive People: – Appear to be passive but act aggressively – For example, when asked a question they wont respond, but then will go complain to someone of higher authority – May leave someone a nasty note or complain to others instead of addressing the problem Assertive People: – State their needs and views directly – Use confident body language and speak in a clear, strong voice – Take responsibility for their actions – Respect themselves and others

In Order to Effectively Communicate 1. State the problem in clear terms. – “I can’t study with the music so loud.” 2. Express your feelings. – “I feel frustrated when the music is so loud, because I have an exam tomorrow.” 3. Make your request. – “Please turn the music down.” 4. Use assertive body language. – Stay calm and centered. Use direct eye contact. 5. State the consequences. – “If you will turn down the music, then I can study and our relationships will be better. If not, then I will have to go to our landlord.”

Communicating with Advisors & Instructors 1. Clarify Expectations. – Make sure you understand what the instructor or advisor need from you. 2. Clarify your concerns. 3. Adapt to your instructor’s teaching style. 4. Be open to learning. 5. Take Responsibility for your own learning. 6. Take an interest in your instructors. 7. Network.

Etiquette with Instructors 1. Use proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation. – Don’t use CAPS, it means you are screaming 2. Avoid using slangs, abbreviations, or smileys. 3. Use proper greetings such as “Hello Dr. Smith”, not “Hey Dr.” 4. Make it clear who you are. 5. Be smart about your account name. 6. Be concise and to the point 7. Don’t use graphics 8. Always say “Thank you.”

Constructive Criticism How do you feel about constructive criticism?

Giving Constructive Criticism 1. Establish a supportive climate. 2. Ask permission to offer criticism. 3. Focus on the behavior, not the person. 4. Stay calm. 5. Be balanced. 6. Explain

Receiving Criticism How do you usually react when someone criticizes you?

Receiving Criticism 1. Listen with an open mind. 2. Pay attention to nonverbal cues 3. Ask for clarification. 4. Ask for suggestions. 5. Explain your viewpoint.

Dealing with Shyness Shyness is very common. However, it is not seen as a problem unless it interferes with your life.