WELCOME Dealing with Lying and Stealing Center for Development of Human Services Buffalo State College Under contract with NYS Office of Children & Family Services Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Expectations Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Outcomes Clarify values regarding lying and stealing Identify reasons children lie and/or steal Respond appropriately to children who lie and/or steal Make plans to prevent lying and stealing behaviors Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

To Tell the Truth… Warm-up Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Definition: Lying Making an untrue statement with intent to deceive Creating a false or misleading impression Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 20107, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Reasons Adults Become Upset : Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Typical Reactions to Lying & Stealing Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

The Best Lie Ever Told… By a politician In an advertisement To a police officer for speeding By a child in care By someone in this group Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Reasons People Lie and/or Steal Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Cycle of Need EXPRESSION RESPONSE RELAXATION NEED Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Cycle of Mistrust EXPRESSION RESPONSE DISTRESS NEED Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Tricks, Lies and Parenting “Your room is a mess. Turn off the TV now and go clean it up!” Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Did you clean your room? Yep! Liar! Don’t tell me you cleaned your room. I just walked by and its still a pig pen! Why lie to me? I hate that! Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Where have you been? At Jimmy’s. No, you weren’t! I spoke with his mom and she hasn’t seen you all day. You’re grounded! Don’t you EVER lie to me again!! Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

I need to have a talk with you. Huh? About what? Well, you said you were going to Jimmy’s and I know you didn’t. Its important to me to be able to trust you. What’s going on? Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

It Takes a Thief What did you take? What were the circumstances? What motivated you to take it? What did you gain? Who was affected by what you did? What did you feel before/ during/after? What were the consequences? Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

PROS AND CONS OF STEALING Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Goals of Discipline Complete the Cycle of Need Learn healthy ways to meet needs Feel good about relationships with others Build self-esteem Approved by the New York State Office of Children and Family Services 2010, through a training and administrative agreement with the Research Foundation for SUNY/BSC/CDHS

Unregistered and want training credit? Before class ends, enter the following into (private) text chat to Matthew Fildes (in his absence, to the instructor): Full legal name Male or female Home address (no P.O. boxes) Area code and phone number address (2 on same computer must list 2 addresses) Foster care agency address (e.g., Harlem Dowling, Westside Center, th Ave., NY, NY 10027) Thank you.