1. Fear and Control Center for Development of Human Services
Institute for Community Health Promotion
SUNY Buffalo State
© 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.

2. © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Center for Development of Human Services
Institute for Community Health Promotion
SUNY Buffalo State
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Acknowledgement
This material was developed by the Center for Development of Human Services (CDHS), Institute for Community Health Promotion, SUNY Buffalo State under a training and administrative services agreement with the New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Disclaimer
While every effort has been made to provide accurate and complete information, the Office of Children and Family Services and the State of New York assume no responsibility for any errors or omissions in the information provided herein and make no representations or warranties about the suitability of the information contained here for any purpose. All information and documents are provided “as is,” without a warranty of any kind.
For information about this and other training programs, please visit:
© 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.

3. © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Outcomes
Define fear and control
Identify possible fears of foster parents, children in care and their parents, and caseworkers
Describe challenges created by these fears
Describe interventions that build trust and those designed to control
Identify ways to meet needs, build trust and nurture all the relationships
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Review group’s responses and make connections to fear
Ask group to define fear
Bridge to next slide
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FEAR
An unpleasant, often strong emotion caused by anticipation or an awareness of danger
Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary
Ask group if they identify with this definition
Ask what they’d add to this definition.
Ask group What it is that we all want when we feel afraid? (i.e., control).
Bridge to concept of control and next slide
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11. © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
CONTROL
To exercise restraint over; to direct influence over; to have power over
Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary
Ask group if they identify with this definition
Relate definitions to their personal lives: we need to experience freedom; if someone tries to take it from us we experience fear
When we’re vulnerable we experience fear
To want to be in control is natural human desire
This need to control can be seen in their roles as parents - We do what we think is best for them, including limiting their behavior.
Ask group how their children respond to parental controls (i.e., resistance)
Ask them how they respond when someone wants them to account for their time, actions, whatever..
When adults allow their vulnerability and fears to result in exerting control over someone else, conflict and poor working relationships occur.
Bridge to “Recognizing Fears” by emphasizing how important partnerships are in the foster care system – fears can get in the way of establishing relationships with the child’s family
Run through next 3 slides and bridge to small group activity and slide with directions.
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15. SMALL GROUP DIRECTIONS
1. Divide into groups
Children
Children’s Parents
Foster Parents
Caseworkers
2. Select recorder/reporter
3. List fears they may feel as they work toward building partnerships
4. Be ready to report back in 15 minutes
Process small group responses
Fears of
Children: parents might stop loving them, might be upset with them for talking about the family, might be hurt; they might be concerned about parent’s whereabouts, might have to divide loyalties, might lose their parents.
Foster parents: children might continue being hurt by parents, might get upset during visits; children’s parents might threaten them, might not care for them, might show up high
Parents: Children might stop loving them, might not return home; they might not be able to manage their lives; someone else might control them; they might not get the needed support to get their kids home; foster parents may not want to work with them; their children might get hurt while in care
Workers…
Ask group to identify any common themes in groups’ responses
Ask group to summarize general challenges created by fears identified. Post responses.
Summarize discussion by normalizing these challenges in foster family life and emphasizing need for a plan to manage them.
Bridge to Cycle of Need.
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Cycle of Need
Refer to Handout 2 and explain the Cycle using the needs associated with one of the participants’ childhood fears discussed in the first activity.
Ask group for behavioral reactions to childhood fears.
Explain parents generally provide nurturing or trust-building responses to calm child’s fearful behaviors
Ask group to for examples of ways parents can help a fearful child feel safe and secure.
Ask group how these interventions can provide nurturance or build trust
Bridge to social control responses – the other way to respond: ignoring, controlling or punishing.
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17. © 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
Cycle of Mistrust
Ask how the child responds to social control… resistance and conflict develop
Explain how the Cycle applies to interactions between foster parents, agency staff and parents of children in care.
Bridge to Handout 3 - Meeting Needs Strategy Worksheet
Bridge to next slide – Small Group Directions _ create strategies to work with everyone
© 2014 New York State Office of Children and Family Services.

18. SMALL GROUP DIRECTIONS
Select recorder/reporter
2. Choose 2 fears from earlier list
3. Identify behaviors associated with the fears
4. List strategies to meet needs and build trust with child’s parents
5. Use Handout 3 for taking notes
6. Be ready to report back after 15 minutes
Ask groups to identify those fears most likely to affect the relationship being built between foster parents and child’s parents.
Process small groups
Post responses on newsprint titled STRATEGIES
Ask for key learning points.
Bridge to closure and next slide.
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Control Theory
“Our lives are a continual struggle to gain control in a way that we can satisfy our needs and not deprive those around us of satisfying theirs. In the end, human beings have only one avenue, negotiation and compromise, through which to work out a way to live in harmony.”
Dr. William Glasser
Renowned mental health and education specialist
Refer to Handout 4, Control Theory
Make sure everyone signed the attendance sheet.
Handout of certificates.
Say goodbye
Evals
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