+ Raising Our “Christian” Children St. George & St. Joseph Coptic Orthodox Church Montreal, QC – September 26, 2015 Yousry Armanios, M.D.

Prenatal Concerns Feeling Stressed! Healthy Pregnancy/Healthy Baby Effect on Our Marriage Effect on Our Older Children Effect on My Job & Our Finances Raising Our New Child Letting Our Child Go

General Concepts Human Development in Stages Different Needs Different Expectations Different Tasks Different Performances Different Sets of Problems Different Approaches or Solutions

PART ONE Age: 0 – 11 years

Stages of Development 1. Infancy Age: 0 – 1 year

INFANCY Age 0 – 1 Year One of the Most Critical Stages! Why? The “Non-Programmed” Computer The “Introduction” into Life: Welcome! What’s good & what can go wrong? Needs; Expectations; Tasks Problems; Approaches & Solutions

The Newly Born 0-3 Months Breast-Feeding Bonding The Newly-born “Behavior” Recognizing Fatigue “Bathing Your Baby”

Babies 3-12 Months The Baby’s Safety Attachment & Bonding Feeding & Sleeping Teething

Stages of Development 2. Toddlers Age: 1 – 3 Years

Toddlers Age 1 – 3 Years Another Critical Stage Fast Growth – Partial Independence Starting to Realize Self & Others: Talk Exploring Own World: Walk & Play Needs; Expectations; Tasks Problems; Approaches & Solutions

Stages of Development 3. Early Childhood Age: 3 – 6 Years

Early Childhood Early Childhood Age 3 – 6 Years Still Growing Fast & Still Exploring Learning & Communicating Better More Independence – More Exposure Needs & Expectations (Guilt & Shame) Tasks: Limits & Boundaries (Structure) Problems; Approaches & Solutions

Stages of Development 4. Late Childhood Age: 6 – 11 Years

Late Childhood Age 6 – 11 Years: The Latency Stage Growing More Mentally than Physically A “Self-Constructive” Period Orientation to Family Life Time to Learn More! Needs; Expectations; Tasks Problems; Approaches & Solutions

Serious Issues JealousyRegression

Stages of Development Tweens & Puberty Age: 11 – 13 Years

Tweens & Puberty Experimentation & Vulnerability! Age 11 – 13 Years The Onset of Puberty: The “Swings”! The Physical & Sexual Dimension The Mental & Emotional Dimension The Social Dimension: Personality Issues Needs & Tasks: Their Questions! Challenges; Risks; Problems; Solutions

Stages of Development 6. Teenage Age: 14 – 17 Years

The Teens Age 14 – 17 Years The Changes Continue The Socio-Behavioral Aspects The Academic & Vocational Aspects The Spiritual Aspect The Gains and The Losses Tasks; Problems; Solutions

The Teens The Changes Continue Causing More Confusion

The Teens The Emotional Aspect: Conflicts with Self Guilt & Sensitivity

Teenage The Mental Aspect Decision Making

Teenage Socio-Behavioral Aspects Conflict with Authority

Teenage Socio-Behavioral Aspects Friends – Relationships More Independence

Teenage Academic & Work Issues School – Career - Work

Teenage The Sexual Rush!

Teenage The Spiritual Aspect Time for Repentance

Teenage Issue 1 Home Environment

Teenage Issue 2 Peer Pressure

Teenage Issue 3 The Media

Teenage Issue 4 Impulsiveness & Risky Behaviors

Teenage NeedsExpectationsTasks

Teenage ProblemsApproachesSolutions

Teenage Challenges Self-Esteem & Self-Image Issues Emotional & Sexual Issues Loyalty Changes Conflict with Authority & Rules Depression & Addiction Risks Eating Disorders – Drug & Alcohol Abuse Teen Depression

Stages of Development 7. Young Adulthood Age: 18 – 25 Years

Late Teens & Early Twenties Age 18 – 25 Years Maturity & Independence Responsibility – Freedom Lifelong Decisions: Career Stories of Success or Failure? Tasks: The Outcome: My Identity! Risks; Problems; Approaches; Solutions

Late Teens & Early Twenties Closer to Maturity: 1. Physical – Sexual 2. Mental – Emotional 3. Social (Independence) 4. Educational – Vocational 5. Spiritual: Reaching an Identity

Late Teens & Early Twenties Freedom&Responsibility

Privacy&Independence

Reaching a Spiritual Identity

Late Teens & Early Twenties Making Lifelong Decisions

Late Teens & Early Twenties The Outcome: 1. Positive Attitudes Towards Life 2. Become Prepared for the Next Stages 3. Know How to Make Right Decisions 4. Healthy View of Religion & Spirituality

Dealing with Our Teens & Youth What we should do as parents: The Home Altar Understand How They Feel & Think Healthy Communication of Emotions Be Balanced (Tough Love) Be Respectful: Privacy vs. Freedom Be Rational: Flexibility vs. Rigidity

Dealing with Our Teens & Youth What we should not do as parents: Having Double Standards Preaching What We Don’t Do! Leading Them into Temptations! Being Abusive (Sarcastic – Critical) Being Judgmental or Negative Controlling Their Life

Always Remember These Tools 1. Offering Tough Love 2. Forgiveness (like God) 3. Never Losing Hope 4. Fixing Your Mistakes 5. Never Play the Guilt Game 6. The Goal of Raising Our Children: Serving “My Savior” All “My Life” Serving “My Savior” All “My Life”

Finally, Teenagers Need” Good Friends An Active Church Available Counsel Being Constructively Busy

Remember This Too! “WITH GOD, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE” (Mark 10:27)

Thanks for Your Listening! Questions & Answers (614)