Please print the form of the Self Test before starting the presentation as you will need to fill in its points. Thank you

Evangelism and communication

Communication …. It is a power (constructive and destructive) It is a power (constructive and destructive) It is a gift It is a gift It is a skill It is a skill It is a responsibility It is a responsibility

My responsibility Whose fault that you don’t understand ???? Whose fault that you don’t understand ???? “How can you say to your brother ‘let me take the speck out of your eyes’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?” Mat 7:4 If you start blaming people you won’t find time to love them.. Mother Theresa

How we communicate You are meeting someone for the first time. During the first 4 minutes of that meeting, ‘how we communicate’ is split into 3 elements: You are meeting someone for the first time. During the first 4 minutes of that meeting, ‘how we communicate’ is split into 3 elements: the words we saythe words we say how we say them (tone, volume)how we say them (tone, volume) and non verbal behaviour.and non verbal behaviour.

Retention of information after 3 days: 15%hear only Retention of information after 3 days: 15%hear only 35% see only 65%see and hear 55% of the message the receiver gets will be from your non verbal behaviour 55% of the message the receiver gets will be from your non verbal behaviour

The Lord Jesus Christ sat down by the well … when a Samaritan woman came … (Joh 4: 6-7) What if …  He met her on the way to the well?  He was standing by the well?  He was surrounded by His disciples?

Communication It needs two and we are different It needs two and we are different I have my strength & weakness and you too I have my strength & weakness and you too I am special … and you are too “ For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful” (psalm 139:13-14) I am special … and you are too “ For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful” (psalm 139:13-14)

Summary Communication is a power, a gift and is my responsibility Communication is a power, a gift and is my responsibility We are different We are different How I communicate is more influencing than what I say How I communicate is more influencing than what I say

If I were forced to choose, I would say I am … Column A Column B 1. More easy-going or more dominant 1. More easy-going or more dominant 2. More go alongor more take charge 2. More go alongor more take charge 3. More hesitant or more assertive 3. More hesitant or more assertive 4. More acceptingor more challenging 4. More acceptingor more challenging 5. More thoughtful or more active 5. More thoughtful or more active 6. More supportingor more confronting 6. More supportingor more confronting 7. More quiet or more talkative 7. More quiet or more talkative 8. More retiringor more bold 8. More retiringor more bold 9. More relaxed or more intense 9. More relaxed or more intense 10.More subtleor more forceful 10.More subtleor more forceful

Total column A - transpose to Horizontal line

If I were forced to choose, I would say I am … Column A Column B 11. More informal or more formal 11. More informal or more formal 12. More spontaneousor more disciplined 12. More spontaneousor more disciplined 13. More responsive or more self-controlled 13. More responsive or more self-controlled 14. More impulsive or more methodical 14. More impulsive or more methodical 15. More close or more distant 15. More close or more distant 16. More feeling or more thinking 16. More feeling or more thinking 17. More people-oriented or more task-oriented 17. More people-oriented or more task-oriented 18. More outgoing or more reserved 18. More outgoing or more reserved 19. More dramatic or more matter-of fact 19. More dramatic or more matter-of fact 20. More warm or more cool 20. More warm or more cool

Total column A - transpose to Vertical line

X Types of personalities

Expressive (Socialise) Like recognition Highly social Like to take risks Like to be different OpinionatedExcitable Driver (director) Task oriented Time sensitive Often seems brusque Less social Demanding Insensitive to others Analyst (thinker) Detail oriented Seek proof Ask questions Less social Like structure Like certainty Amiable (relator) People oriented Buys on trust Highly social Like to build relationships Slow to make decisions Supportive Informal Formal Low responsiveness High Dominant Easy-going High assertiveness low

How to deal with the …. Expressive Get them talking about themselves Get them talking about themselves Share their dreams and add to them Share their dreams and add to them Don’t focus on details too closely – they get bored easily Don’t focus on details too closely – they get bored easily They love special attention They love special attention They are motivated by challenge, applause and recognition. They are motivated by challenge, applause and recognition. Be conversational – they enjoy philosophical argument Be conversational – they enjoy philosophical argument They have very strong personalities, often too optimistic They have very strong personalities, often too optimistic

How to deal with the …. Amiable Like to share their personal life history Like to share their personal life history They resist change and enjoy the known They resist change and enjoy the known Prefer to share decision making with others Prefer to share decision making with others Help them to take decisions, but go slowly Help them to take decisions, but go slowly Identify their personal needs and show them love Identify their personal needs and show them love Offer personal assurance of support Offer personal assurance of support They dislike pressure of any kind and need lot of reassurance They dislike pressure of any kind and need lot of reassurance

How to deal with the …. Driver Don’t waste time with small talk Don’t waste time with small talk They are impatient and conscious of time They are impatient and conscious of time Approach them directly and be organised Approach them directly and be organised Get yourself well prepared Get yourself well prepared Keep your conversation focussed Keep your conversation focussed Be energetic and maintain direct eye contact. Be energetic and maintain direct eye contact. Be firm, let them feel you’re sure of yourself Be firm, let them feel you’re sure of yourself Give them solutions that work and fast Give them solutions that work and fast

How to deal with the …. Analytical Approach their needs in a logical and practical manner Approach their needs in a logical and practical manner Provide them lots of factual evidence Provide them lots of factual evidence Avoid innovation or any hint of risk-taking Avoid innovation or any hint of risk-taking Work on a step-by-step approach – don’t rush Work on a step-by-step approach – don’t rush They will ask lots of questions They will ask lots of questions Support their organised and thoughtful approach Support their organised and thoughtful approach

Behaviours that tend to destroy relationships 1. Don’t criticise – even indirectly. No one likes it whatever they say. If it has to be done, be constructive and sensitive. 2. Don’t be tactless or hurt people’s feelings. Think in terms of other people’s feelings and don’t offend by ignoring people, making fun of them. 3. Don’t interrupt people when they are talking. It’s rude and shows you do not listen

Behaviours that tend to destroy relationships 4. Don’t create emotional barrier in people’s mind (bad language, unprofessional appearance…) people buy people first 5. Don’t be pessimist – no one likes somebody who always sees the black side of things and never has a cheerful word. The newspapers are full of all the bad news anyone can take in a day! 6. Don’t show impatience or lose your temper – even when right is on your side. It creates a barrier between you and the other person, which will help neither of you

Creation and maintenance of Rapport 1. Match or mirror the body movements of the one you talk to. a. Keep it subtle (slight, clever) b. Adopt a similar posture or gesture rather than mimic the person 2. Match or mirror his voice a. Rate of speech b. Pattern or rhythm of speech c. Volume d. Sentence length

Creation and maintenance of Rapport 3. Match or mirror his moods a. Do a temperature check of his current mood b. Respect his frame of mind (temporarily) c. Eventually lead him into a solution-oriented or more positive vein 4. Use statements of fact to help him into a ‘yes mode’ a. Repeat statements made by him or statements that are undeniably true b. Begin or end statements with phrases that ask for agreement (right? Ok? Would you agree? Isn’t it?)