Communication Styles

What is Communication Communication is not just about what you say, but about how you say it Your communication style is a SET of various behaviours and methods of relaying info that will impact all aspects of life The GOAL should always be to understand, not to be right, or win over the other person.

Basics of Effective Communication Get the facts before you pass judgment Try and keep emotions out of the picture – sort of like a judge listening to both sides before making a decision Learning the 3 styles is important in order to avoid communicating in less effective ways, and in order to recognize those styles in others so as to be able to deal with them

Nonassertive (Passive) Afraid to risk the consequences Don’t believe in your own rights Don’t know how to speak up for yourself Think another person’s rights are more important than your own You let the other person “walk over you.”

Aggressive Saying what you think, feel, want, or believe in ways that deny another person’s right to be treated with respect You try to “beat” them: “I win, you lose” Examples: Anger, meanness, hurtfulness, putdowns, spitefulness

Assertive Saying what you think, feel, want or believe: In ways that don’t damage another person’s right to be treated with respect In straightforward, non-threatening ways In ways that don’t deny your own right

Passive-Aggressive Behaves passively to people’s face, then aggressively when they are not around The goal is to avoid face-to-face conflict, and then make the other party wish they had seen it his/her way Likes to manipulate; often uses sarcasm Example: purposely doing a poor job on an assignment