Relationships and Dating Unit II – Chapter Five Child Development

Objectives Distinguish among different kinds of relationships Analyze factors that influence relationships Describe ways to build and maintain strong relationships Identify characteristics of unhealthy relationships Examine the reasons and methods of ending a relationship Explain reasons for dating different people before getting married Provide guidelines for responsible dating relationships Objectives

Kinds of Relationships A relationship is the connection you have with another person Relationships vary in three basic ways: Their degree of closeness Their purpose Their form Relationships can also be described as close or casual Kinds of Relationships

Influences on Relationships Roles and Expectations An expectation is a want or need that a person hopes will be met in the relationship Example: children expect their parents to take care of them and parents expect children to follow the rules and listen Differences in expectations can sometimes lead to conflict – create an example in your notes Influences on Relationships

Influences on Relationships Self-Esteem High self-esteem gives you the confidence to meet new people and have new experiences High self-esteem also helps you steer clear of relationships that may harm you When people do not feel accepted, their self- esteem is likely to be low Sometimes people in this situation act like they do not care what others think of them EVERYONE has personal strengths that deserve to be recognized and celebrated Make it a habit to give sincere compliments throughout the day Influences on Relationships

Qualities in a Strong Relationship Understanding Tolerance Dependability Communicate Honesty Acceptance Patience Flexibility Respect Empathy Commitment Humor Qualities in a Strong Relationship

Which Quality is Most Important?

Maintaining a Relationship Pay attention – keep in touch Participate – participate in activities with the important people in your life Plan Ahead – keep a planner to avoid conflicts Enjoy Meals Together – eat meals as a family as often as possible Maintaining a Relationship

Harmful Relationships If he truly cared for me, he would never threaten, pressure or ask me to do something that is against my values. How do I know if I am in an unhealthy relationship? Harmful Relationships

Unhealthy Relationships Physical Abuse Controlling Behavior Illegal Activity Dishonesty Isolation Bullying Irresponsible Behavior Unhealthy Relationships

Unhealthy Relationships If you feel isolated, you feel separated and cut off from everyone but one person Inadequate means failing to meet an expectation. If you feel you are not good enough for someone, it is time to move on A person who feels dependent relies too much on someone else for their own happiness. It is far better to be with someone who encourages you to act independently People who are vulnerable are especially open to physical or emotional harm or are easily persuaded by pressure. Unhealthy Relationships

Ending a Relationship Reasons for ending a relationship include: It may be unhealthy Have outgrown the relationship Nothing left in common Not well-matched Someone moves Ending a Relationship

Ending a Relationship Ending a relationship is never easy It is best to make a clean-cut, do not drag the process out, that is unhealthy for all involved If you feel you need to explain the reasoning, try to avoid making “you” statements Example: Instead of saying, “You’re boring,” try, “I don’t think we have much in common.” Respect the person you are ending the relationship with – you are helping to create their self-concept Ending a Relationship

Responsible Dating Starting a Relationship Going out with different people Improves interpersonal skills Practices give and take Multiple experiences help you understand yourself better as a person Going out with a variety of people will help you discover the characteristics you will want in a permanent partner Responsible Dating

Responsible Dating Going out as a group Avoid pressure that comes with going out as a couple Group dating makes it easier to get comfortable Responsible Dating

Responsible Dating Going out as a couple Practice relating to a person one-on-one Does not mean you have a serious relationship Many teens go on casual dates with multiple people May decide to date exclusively Being a couple helps people get to know each other well Creates a sense of security Responsible Dating

Responsible Dating Family Rules Some parents do not allow their children to date on person exclusively Concerns include: Limits opportunities to meet new people Might lose sight of long-term goals, like education Parents often have rules about what you can do and where you can go on a date Drug and alcohol abuse Unsafe driving Sexual pressures Responsible Dating

Even if you do not agree with their dating rules, remember that their purpose is to protect you

Responsible Relationships Dating can be fun, but it has a serious side You need to establish boundaries, or limits in a new relationship Plan ahead so you are prepared to handle situations that may arise Responsible Relationships

Personal Responsibility Healthy dating relationships: Practice responsibility and respect for themselves and their partners They stay true to each other’s rules and values They follow personal and family values Their mutual goal is to enjoy each other’s company Communicate Personal Responsibility

Going out on the date Talk about where you will go How will you get there and back? What are you going to do? Who will pay? When will you be back home? If you agree on the details beforehand, there will not be any uncertainties. It also sets expectations for the date, which fit within your boundaries Going out on the date

Three Components of a Relationship Intimacy – the first component; being close to someone and sharing personal things with them Passion – the second component; strong emotional feelings that move you to express them physically, verbally, etc. Commitment – the third component; promising to be true and faithful to that person Three Components of a Relationship

Sexual Responsibility Media often sends the message that sexual activity is an expected part of any dating relationship THIS IS NOT TRUE Although it seems a private matter, it often does not stay that way Reputations suffer, self-esteem can be damaged and you may lose your self-respect Sexual Responsibility