Wanda McCallum, LPC

Overview (2) Communicating Like a Pro The Five Exemplary Leadership Practices Conflict Management Skills for Women Balancing Your Career with Your Personal Life Workshop Handout and Quick-Reference Guide

Exercise (4) Watch for: Arms crossed/hands clasped Tone Eye Contact Facial Expression No Um’s, Uh’s, or Filler words (like, you know, and so…)

Six Secrets to Powerful Public Speaking (5) 1. Connect with your audience (ahead of time) 2. No one wants you to fail (Leave ego outside) 3. Connect with audience from a space of ‘helping’ 4. Use silence to strengthen your message 5. Humble sharing works best! 6. Toastmasters.org

Speech Habits that Can Rob You of Your Credibility (6) Disclaimers Excessive or weak modifiers Fillers Justifiers (...let me tell you the reasons why I want this...) Tag questions Cute words Technical words vs. KISS rule

Masculine vs. Feminine Styles (7) Speaking in meetings with masculine styles: Be brief Bullet point thoughts End with a question

Summary (8) Be aware of your tone, body language, eye contact, and facial expressions Avoid speech habits that rob you of your credibility Reduce fidgeting Handle interruptions in a feminine style Start, Stop, Continue, Change

The Five Practices of Exemplary Leaders (10) Kouzes/Posner Model the Way Inspire a Shared Vision Challenge the Process Enable Others to Act Encourage the Heart

Model the Way (11) What are your guiding principles and values that you use to make decisions? How do they relate to Mississippi State’s vision, mission, and values? Do your direct reports know the answers to each of these questions?

Change Relating to Higher Education (12) Michigan Tech Survey Results (Top Five Challenges in Higher Education) 1. Meeting increased expectations of Generation “Me” 2. Working with parents and their expectations 3. Connecting service to learning 4. Balancing technology and face-to-face interactions 5. Meeting needs with diminished resources

Summary (13) Identify and communicate (often!) your personal vision and how it ties into MS State’s vision Co-create a ‘team’ vision and repeat it at each meeting Find creative ways to ‘model’ your vision Constantly look for opportunity to do things better, smarter, faster Trust, delegate, and empower those that report to you Start, Stop, Continue, Change

Which Form(s) of Contempt Do You Use? (15) Attacking Sarcasm/Eye Rolling Absolute language (You always… You never…) Shaming Stonewalling (Shutting down/Punishing someone by not talking to them) Passive-Aggressive – Publicly or privately hurting someone in an underhanded manner ***The goal is to bring contempt down to a ‘zero’ in all conversations

When You Feel Like Your Going to Explode with Anger, Cry, or Shut Down (16) Take sips from a glass of water Walk it off Breathe Postpone the conversation and set a time to meet Return to issue only when you feel more calm Is it worth your career or your reputation to express that you are ‘right’?

Five Conflict Styles (17) 1. Competing “My way or the highway” 2. Accommodating “Your way is fine” 3. Compromising “Let’s make a deal” 4. Collaborating “Two heads are better than one” 5. Avoiding “Let’s talk tomorrow”

Summary (18) Reduce Contempt Actively Listen Stay Solution-focused Control your emotions Become proficient in ‘all’ the conflict styles Start, Stop, Continue, Change

Priorities (20) Name the top five priorities in your life: 1. ________________________ 2. ________________________ 3. ________________________ 4. ________________________ 5. ________________________

Reframe Your Thinking (21) Your thoughts and feelings permeate throughout your work and your home life You set the ‘thermostat’ for the team Reducing negativity starts with you Do affirmations work?

What Does Validation Do for Us at Work? (22) Employees work harder for the people they like! We like them in a direct proportion to how they make us feel! (Irwin Federman)

Summary (23) Prioritize what is MOST important in your life Reframe your thoughts and feelings Validate and appreciate everyone in your life And…