RELATIONSHIPS PIXAR – Knick-Knack Movie - License to Wed

HEALTHY - UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Talking about your feelings Respecting each other’s friends and activities Considering the other person’s opinions and feelings Respecting differences in the other person Having an equal say in the relationship Feeling like your own person Shouting or yelling when you’re angry at the other person Using the “silent treatment” Unwilling to listen or pouting to get what you want Blaming the partner for his or her own unique qualities Believing that one gender has more rights than the other Feeling incomplete without your partner

HEALTHY - UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Feeling responsible for your own happiness Togetherness and separateness are balanced Friendships exist outside of the relationship Focuses on the best qualities of both people Achieving intimacy without chemicals Open, honest and assertive communication Relying on your partner for your happiness Too much or too little togetherness Inability to establish and maintain friendships with others Focuses on the worst qualities of the partners Using alcohol/drugs to reduce inhibitions and achieve a false sense of intimacy Game-playing, manipulation

HEALTHY - UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Commitment to the partner Accepting changes in the relationship Asking honestly for what is wanted Working out solutions that are good for both of you Jealousy, relationship addiction or lack of commitment Feeling that the relationship should always be the same Feeling unable to express what is wanted Pestering your partner until you get what you want

ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS dominating and controlling the other person trying to keep your partner away from friends name calling and putdowns harassment breaking your partner’s possessions threatening harm intimidating through physical abuse or property destruction

extreme jealousy and possessiveness pushing, hitting, biting, burning restraining/holding your partner against his/her will using scare tactics using sexual putdowns forcing sex or sexual touching

My self-righteous friend, I just can't pretend, Your words are the truth, Sincere only when they suit you It hurts, my pride, step aside, 'Cause I don't need your... Sympathy! Won't get the best of me Misery! That's what your giving me Sympathy! It's just like trickery Breaking me down Sympathy Won't get the best of me! Misery This shit is killing me! Sympathy It's just like trickery! Breaking me down Breaking me down Billy Talent – Sympathy A slap in the face, And I can't erase, These things that you say, Don't make it all okay, it's not okay When push comes to shove, I'll put on the gloves, Intentions are cruel, I ain't nobody's fool you know It hurts, my pride, step aside, 'Cause I don't need your... Sympathy Won't get the best of me! Misery That's what you're giving me! Sympathy It's just like trickery! Breaking me down A fistful of lies, Dressed up in disguise, And make no mistake, I know they're all so fake, they're all so fake

WHAT TO DO ABOUT ABUSE? STEP 1 — Confront the abuser. Use, model and teach conflict management skills. STEP 2— Get help. Talk to a counsellor, priest, doctor, psychologist, or psychiatrist to get help for the abuser. STEP 3— Leave the relationship. Get away from the abuser. Take legal action if necessary.

20 Things You Should Know About Marriage 1. Marriage is made up of two good forgivers. Because every marriage is made up of two sinners. (Romans 3:23) 2. At some point, you will have to learn that life isn’t all about you. (Philippians 2:3) 3. Don’t listen to women that tell you that passion fades…it doesn’t have to! (um…all of Song of Solomon) 4. Don’t give up. Love never fails. (1 Cor. 13) 5. He wants a kind wife, not a maid or another mother. Be nice. (Galatians 5:22-23) 6. Give your husband the gift of your respect.  He needs it more than you know. (Ephesians 5:33)

7. Be mindful of your expectations. 8. Honor the Lord above all things. Colossians 3: 17 9. Find your worth and security in the Lord, and don’t look to your husband to meet all of your needs. 10. Be very careful about reading romance novels, they set you up for an unrealistic view of romance. 11. Real romance is finding that one spot in the crook of his arm to snuggle into, that shared look over the dinner table when the kids are acting crazy, and the way he fixes the leaky sink when he is dog-tired after work.

12. Love is about relationship 12. Love is about relationship.  The more I love my husband/wife, and seek a relationship with him/her, the less critical and duty-bound I become.  It is similar to my relationship with God. 13. Be thankful for the husband you have. Accept him as he is, not for what you want him to be. 14. Don’t compare!! Don’t buy into the game of comparing him with anyone else’s husband. 15.The Biblically “normal” marriage is filled with joy, connection, laughter, and peace.  It’s not free of hurt feelings and conflict, but they know how to process their pain with one another so that they live more often in a meadow than at the scene of a train wreck.  This is not the average marriage, but it normal – -because it is a visible display of Jesus’ relationship with His bride (Ephesians 5:22-33).

16. Your marriage is a testimony 16. Your marriage is a testimony! “The #1 evangelistic tool in America (the world) today is a successful marriage, because it’s a living miracle!” – Dr. Joe Aldrich, former president of Multnomah Bible College. 17. Pray for your marriage. Pray hard. 18.I’ve heard that is gets better with age. I have to say in my short {8 years} experience, that is so true. 19. Where there is God, there is always hope. Even for the most broken marriages. “With God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26) 20.Marriage is commitment and sacrifice. But it’s also the best, most wild ride you will ever have with your best friend.