1. RELATIONSHIPS
LOVE AND INTIMACY

2. LOVE is……

3. RELATIONSHIPS Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs Communication
LOVE and BELONGING are considered basic human needs
Communication
Key ingredient in healthy relationships with others
Healthy Relationships
Require mutual concern and effort to maintain
Ever-changing
Each Person has Many Different Relationships
Each relationship is unique
Many different theories on LOVE….we will explore one well-recognized theory

4. STERNBERG’S TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE
THREE COMPONENTS IN LOVE RELATIONSHIPS:
INTIMACY
PASSION
COMMITMENT

5. 8 TYPES OF LOVE RELATIONSHIPS
Non-love

6. Types of Love relationships – 1 component
Liking (Friendship)
Infatuation
Empty Love

7. 8 Types of Relationships - 2 components
Romantic Love
Fatuous (or Fantasy) Love
Companionate Love

8. 8 types of relationships – 3 components
CONSUMMATE (or complete) LOVE

9. Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
Moved this slide up! Update the triangle to match 5.3.

10. ENHANCING RELATIONSHIPS
INTIMACY
Spending time together
Doing things for each other
Sharing experiences
Writing letters, notes
PASSION
Smiling
Hugging
Arm around waist or shoulder
Holding hands
Kissing
Gentle or playful touching
Sexual behaviors
COMMITMENT
Making future plans together
Making joint decisions
Working toward mutual goals

11. INGREDIENTS FOR A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
INTIMACY
COMMITMENT
PASSION
CARING
TRUST
SELF-ACCEPTANCE
RESPECT AND APPRECIATION
GOOD COMMUNICATION
ABILITY TO BE VULNERABLE
SHARED VALUES AND INTERESTS
ABILITY TO FACE CONFLICT EFFECTIVELY
SUPPORT FOR EACH PERSON TO GROW AND CHANGE

12. LOVE Strong friendship Excitement Affection Physical arousal
Being in love stage
Falling in love stage
Strong friendship
Affection
Deep attachment
Support of each other’s strengths
Ability to bring out the best in each other
Familiarity and comfort with each other
Tolerance of the other person’s weaknesses
Ability to work through disagreements
Mutual respect
Excitement
Physical arousal
Inability to focus
Eat and sleep less
Constant thoughts
Talking centered on the other person
Worry won’t last
Overestimate strengths while underestimate weaknesses
Avoidance of conflict

13. RELATIONSHIP BEHAVIOR CONTINUUM
HEALTHY UNHEALTHY ABUSIVE________
Partners = One partner > rights One dominates
Talk re: feelings Ignore feelings or shout Demean or put down
Openly state diff. opinions Reluctant to share opinions Fear expressing
Respectful w/ friends Demands partner’s attention Isolating from friends
Respecting partner’s actions Pouting/sulking Name-calling, yelling, ridiculing
Considering partner’s wants Silent treatments, betrays Breaking, throwing, confidences damaging property
Equal say Pestering partner to behave Threatening
Respectful touching Pushing the limits continually Physical abuse
Trusting behavior Possessive Behavior Extreme jealousy
Feel heard, cared for, free Submissive or dominance Confining, imprison
Learning from & support Demeaning, hurtful teasing Sexual putdowns
Honest communication Poor listening & refusal to talk Shows anger, threatens

14. ATTRACTIVENESS TRAITS
In what order of importance would you rank the following traits when choosing a partner?
Physical appearance
Good personality
Athletic ability
Sense of humor
Wealth
Common interests

15. Ending relationships
WARNING SIGNS that a relationship has run its course:
A change in communication
An increase in the number of unresolved conflicts
A change in the amount and quality of time spent together
Emotional or physical abuse

16. GUIDELINES FOR ENDING RELATIONSHIPS
Make the decision
Prepare for uncomfortable feelings
Choose a place **** (never in your own home or privately if afraid of their reaction)
Explain your reasons (…but not over and over and over)
Make the end final

17. RECOVERING FROM THE END OF A RELATIONSHIP
Connect with friends
Thought Stopping
Realistic thinking (rather than idealizing the former partner or friend)
Building self-esteem
Developing other relationships – cultivate the other relationships in your life (not a rebound romance)

18. Ending an abusive or unhealthy relationship
Can be difficult or even DANGEROUS!
If you don’t feel safe, don’t break up in person
If in person, do it in a PUBLIC PLACE
Explain just once your reasons for breaking up
LET YOUR FRIENDS AND PARENTS KNOW
IF YOUR EX TRIES TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE WHEN YOU’RE ALONE, DON’T GO TO THE DOOR
TRUST YOURSELF…if afraid, there is probably a good reason
ASK FOR HELP: National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline
Avoid isolated areas
Stick with a friend at parties
Save any threatening or harassing s or texts
If ever in immediate danger, CALL 911