1. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Chapter 10 Interpersonal Attraction: From First Impressions to Close Relationships

2. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. PowerPoint Presentation Prepared By Fred W. Whitford Montana State University

3. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Chapter Outline I. What Causes Attraction?

4. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. What Causes Attraction? Friendships and close relationships are at or near the top of the list of what people say makes them happy; people desire to be liked by even the most casual of acquaintances.

5. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. What Causes Attraction? The Person Next Door: The Propinquity Effect The finding that the more we see and interact with people, the more likely they are to become our friends is known as the propinquity effect.

6. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. What Causes Attraction? The Person Next Door: The Propinquity Effect The propinquity effect works because of the mere exposure effect, the finding that the more exposure we have to a stimulus, the more apt we are to like it.

7. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. What Causes Attraction? The Person Next Door: The Propinquity Effect

8. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. What Causes Attraction? The Person Next Door: The Propinquity Effect

9. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. What Causes Attraction? Similarity As we get to know each other better, other factors besides propinquity and attractiveness come into play in determining liking. Key among these is similarity to ourselves.

10. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. What Causes Attraction? Similarity People who are similar are attractive because they validate our own self-worth and we assume that people who disagree with us have negative personality traits.

11. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. What Causes Attraction? Reciprocal Liking One of the most potent determinants of our liking someone is if we believe that that person likes us.

12. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. What Causes Attraction? Reciprocal Liking If we believe somebody else likes us, we will be a more likable person in their presence; this will lead them to actually like us more, which leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy.

13. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. What Causes Attraction? Reciprocal Liking A person’s level of self-esteem moderates how we are affected by other people liking us. Swann and colleagues (1992) have shown that people with high self-esteem like and interact with those who like them, but people with low self-esteem prefer to interact with somebody who criticized them.

14. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. What Causes Attraction? Physical Attractiveness on Liking Physical attractiveness is a major determinant of liking in studies of first impressions.

15. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. What Causes Attraction? Physical Attractiveness on Liking Debate has existed on sex differences in the importance of physical attractiveness. Feingold (1990) reports that both sexes value attractiveness, although men value it somewhat more than women; however this difference is larger for stated attitudes and values than for actual behavior.

16. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. What Causes Attraction? Physical Attractiveness on Liking Recent research supports the idea that physical attractiveness is equally important to men and women.

17. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. What Causes Attraction? Physical Attractiveness on Liking The media bombards us with a standard of beauty; and also associates beautiful characters with high moral standards; because of the media, we develop shared standards of beauty.

18. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. What Causes Attraction? Physical Attractiveness on Liking For both sexes, this standard includes large eyes, prominent cheekbones, and a big smile. For women, a small nose and chin, narrow cheeks and high eyebrows are considered attractive; for men, a large chin is considered attractive.

19. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. What Causes Attraction? Physical Attractiveness on Liking People assume that physical attractiveness is highly correlated with other desirable traits; this is known as the “what is beautiful is good” stereotype.

20. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. What Causes Attraction? Physical Attractiveness on Liking There is a some truth to the association between physical attractiveness and sociability; this may be due to a self- fulfilling prophecy.

21. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. What Causes Attraction? Recollections of Initial Attraction Aron et al. (1989) found that for love, people reported reciprocal liking and attractiveness important. Similarity and propinquity were mentioned with low to moderate frequency. For friendship, reciprocal liking, attractiveness, similarity, and propinquity were all mentioned as important.

22. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. What Causes Attraction? Theories of Interpersonal Attraction: Social Exchange and Equity Social exchange theory is the theory holding that how people feel about a relationship depends on their perceptions of the rewards and costs of the relationship, the kind of relationship they believe they deserve (comparison level), and their chances for having a better relationship with someone else (comparison level for alternatives).

23. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. What Causes Attraction? Theories of Interpersonal Attraction: Social Exchange and Equity Equity theory is the theory holding that people are happiest with relationships in which the rewards and costs a person experiences and the contributions he or she makes to the relationship are roughly equal to the rewards, costs, and contributions of the other person.

24. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Chapter Outline II. Close Relationships

25. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Close Relationships Until recently, there was little research in social psychology on enduring relationships, because they are more difficult to study scientifically: random assignment is impossible, and feelings can be hard to measure.

26. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Close Relationships Defining Love There seem to be multiple kinds of love; different scales to measure these have been developed in the past decade.

27. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Close Relationships Defining Love Companionate love is the feelings of intimacy and affection we feel for another person when we care deeply for the person, but do not necessarily experience passion or arousal in his or her presence.

28. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Close Relationships Defining Love Passionate love is the feelings of intense longing, accompanied by physiological arousal, we feel for another person; when our love is reciprocated, we feel great fulfillment and ecstasy, but when it is not, we feel sadness and despair.

29. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Close Relationships Defining Love Sternberg developed the triangular theory of love. This is the idea that different kinds of love consist of varying degrees of three components: intimacy, passion, and commitment.

30. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Close Relationships Defining Love

31. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Close Relationships Culture and Love Culture plays a role in how people label their experiences and what they expect from them. Dion and Dion (1993) suggest that romantic love is an important basis for marriage in individualistic societies but is less valued in collectivist ones.

32. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Close Relationships Culture and Love Recent research has noted that cultural differences in the value placed on romantic love are decreasing. Young people in some collectivist cultures are becoming more individualistic in their approach to romantic love.

33. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Chapter Outline III. Love and Relationships

34. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Love and Relationships Love and Relationships This section examines how the factors examined in relationship formation play out over time.

35. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Love and Relationships Love and Relationships Evolutionary Explanations of Love Evolutionary biology judges an animal’s “fitness” in terms of its reproductive success; the evolutionary approach to love states that men and women are attracted to different characteristics in each other because this fosters reproductive success.

36. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Love and Relationships Love and Relationships Evolutionary Explanations of Love Buss (1985) suggests that this approach explains the different strategies of men and women in romantic relationships.

37. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Love and Relationships Love and Relationships Evolutionary Explanations of Love Recent research has found that women with more economic power are more interested in physically attractive men than are women with little economic power.

38. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Love and Relationships Love and Relationships Attachment Styles and Intimate Relationships The attachment styles approach to close relationships focuses on the expectations people develop about relationships based on the relationship they had with their primary caregiver when they were infants.

39. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Love and Relationships Love and Relationships Attachment Styles and Intimate Relationships The secure attachment style may develop in those who have responsive caregivers as infants and is characterized by trust, a lack of concern with being abandoned, and the view that one is worthy and well- liked. Securely attached individuals have the most enduring, long-term romantic relationships.

40. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Love and Relationships Love and Relationships Attachment Styles and Intimate Relationships The avoidant attachment style may develop in those who have aloof and distant caregivers as infants and is characterized by a suppression of attachment needs, because attempts to be intimate have been rebuffed. People with this style find it difficult to develop intimate relationships.

41. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Love and Relationships Love and Relationships Attachment Styles and Intimate Relationships The anxious/ambivalent attachment style may develop in those who had inconsistent and overbearing caregivers as infants and is characterized by a concern that others will not reciprocate one’s desire for intimacy, resulting in high levels of anxiety. Individuals with this attachment style have the most short-lived romantic relationships.

42. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Love and Relationships Love and Relationships Attachment Styles and Intimate Relationships Although relationships in which both partners are securely attached are the most successful and satisfying, anxious woman-avoidant man relationships can work due to the ease of attributing problems in the relationship to gender stereotypes.

43. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Love and Relationships Love and Relationships Social Exchange in Long-Term Relationships Research has shown ample support for social exchange theory in intimate relationships. Rusbult (1980) finds that rewards are always important in determining the outcome of relationships, while costs become increasingly important over time.

44. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Love and Relationships Love and Relationships Social Exchange in Long-Term Relationships Her investment model of relationships holds that people’s commitment to a relationship depends on their satisfaction in terms of rewards, costs, and comparison level, their comparison level for alternatives, and how much they have invested in the relationship that would be lost by leaving it.

45. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Love and Relationships Love and Relationships Social Exchange in Long-Term Relationships

46. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Love and Relationships Love and Relationships Social Exchange in Long-Term Relationships

47. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Love and Relationships Love and Relationships Equity in Long-Term Relationships In new or casual relationships, people trade benefits “in kind”; in intimate relationships, people trade very different resources and are looser about it.

48. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Love and Relationships Love and Relationships Equity in Long-Term Relationships Exchange relationships are relationships governed by the need for equity; while communal relationships are relationships in which people’s primary concern is being responsive to the other person’s needs.

49. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Love and Relationships Love and Relationships Equity in Long-Term Relationships People in communal relationships are not completely unconcerned with equity -- if the relationship is inequitable, over time they will become dissatisfied.

50. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Love and Relationships Love and Relationships Equity in Long-Term Relationships

51. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Chapter Outline IV. Ending Intimate Relationships

52. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Ending Intimate Relationships The Process of Breaking Up Recently, researchers have started to look at what drives people to end relationships and the processes involved in breaking up a relationship.

53. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Ending Intimate Relationships The Process of Breaking Up

54. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Ending Intimate Relationships The Process of Breaking Up Duck (1982) theorizes that there are four stages involved in the dissolution of a relationship: intrapersonal (focusing on dissatisfaction), dyadic (revealing these to the partner), social (announcing the breakup to others), and back to intrapersonal (devising accounts of the breakup as we recover from it).

55. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Ending Intimate Relationships The Experience of Breaking Up Akert (1998) and others find that the role people play in a breakup is a key determinant of how they feel about it: breakees were most upset, breakers least, and mutuals in the middle. Women experienced somewhat more negative emotions than men. When the breakup is mutual, partners are more likely to remain friends after the relationships has ended.

56. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Study Questions What is the relationship between propinquity and attraction? What is the mere exposure effect?

57. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Study Questions Why is similarity such an important factor in attraction?

58. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Study Questions Why is reciprocal liking important in attraction? What role does self-esteem play in reciprocal liking?

59. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Study Questions What are the effects of physical attractiveness on liking? Which facial features are associated with high attractiveness in females and males across cultures?

60. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Study Questions Which stereotypes are associated with physical attractiveness? What role does the self-fulfilling prophecy play in the perpetuation of these assumptions?

61. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Study Questions What are the main predictors of initial attraction? Which factors have been mentioned most often in people’s falling-in-love accounts? What are gender and cultural differences in predictors of attraction?

62. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Study Questions How does the social exchange theory explain how people feel about their relationships? What are comparisons that people make according to this theory?

63. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Study Questions What accounts for happy relationships according to equity theory?

64. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Study Questions Why is there little scientific data on close relationships?

65. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Study Questions What are the differences between companionate love and passionate love?

66. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Study Questions What are the three basic ingredients of love according to the triangular theory of love? What are the types of love formed by varying degrees of these ingredients?

67. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Study Questions How does culture influence both the definition of love and the behaviors that correspond with it?

68. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Study Questions What does the social exchange theory help explain regarding long-term relationships?

69. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Study Questions How do exchange relationships differ from communal relationships?

70. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Study Questions What are the major arguments of evolutionary theory as it relates to love? What is another explanation for gender differences in mate selection?

71. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Study Questions How do attachment styles develop and how do they manifest themselves in later relationships? What do people with each style report about their relationships?

72. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Study Questions What are the four types of behavior characteristic of troubled relationships?

73. Aronson Social Psychology, 5/e Copyright © 2005 by Prentice-Hall, Inc. Study Questions What is perhaps the most important predictor of psychological and physical effects of relationship dissolution? What is the best way to end a relationship? What determines if people will remain friends after the breakup?