Presentation on theme: "Attraction and Intimacy: Liking and Loving Others"— Presentation transcript:
1 Attraction and Intimacy: Liking and Loving Others Chapter 11David Myers
2 Attraction and Intimacy What leads to friendship and attraction?What is Love?What enables close relationships?How do relationships end?
3 Friendship and Attraction What influences liking and love?Proximity – geographic closeness influences likingInteraction – form friendships with those whom we cross paths withAnticipatory Liking – increased liking for someone we anticipate interacting withMere Exposure – novel stimuli is liked more after repeated exposureImplicit egoism – we prefer things that we associate with ourselves
4 Physical Attractiveness Gender and Attractiveness – a woman's attractiveness is a better predictor of how much they date than a man’sMatching Phenomenon – the tendency to choose partners who are similar in attractiveness and other traits as ourselvesMarried couples are more similar in attractiveness than dating partners
5 Physical Attractiveness If attractiveness is skewed other traits compensate
6 Physical Attractiveness Attractiveness Stereotype – belief that attractiveness is correlated with other positive attributese.g. Teachers and Students, Politicians and VotersSelf-fulfilling prophecies
7 Physical Attractiveness Cross-culturally, averaged and symmetrical features are viewed as more attractiveEvolution & Attraction – reproduction and survival influence liking and attractionMen prefer women with softer features, 30% hip to waist ratioWomen prefer men with mature and muscular featuresSocial Comparison – viewing models and celebrities lowers ratings of mates, others, and selfLove and Attraction – love leads to more attraction to loved ones and less attraction to “others”
8 Similarity vs. Complementarity Do we like those who are similar or those who complement us?Similar Others - more likely to be friends, get married, and stay marriedDo opposites attract?NO!
9 Mutual Admiration Mutual Admiration - we like those who like us Ingratiation – insincere flattery to gain the favor of othersSelf-esteem & Attraction – self-affirming approval increases likingGaining Approval – we like people more when we win them over
10 Relationship RewardsReward Theory of Attraction – we like others who reward us and with whom we associate rewardsLiking by Association – we like others with whom we associate positive events
11 LoveLove – passion, intimacy, commitment, shared understanding, supportPassionate Love – emotional, exciting, intense longing to be with another
12 LoveTwo-factor Theory of Emotion – emotion is determined by physiological arousal and its cognitive labelCapilano River Suspension Bridge Study
13 Variations in LoveCulture and Love – love does not always precede relationships and marriageGender and Love – men tend to fall in love more easily and are less likely to break up premarital relationshipsCompanionate Love – enduring affection we feel for those whom are lives are intertwined
14 What Enables Relationships? Attachment – childhood attachment can predict adult relationshipsSecure – leads to stable adult relationshipsDismissive/Fearful – leads to less investment/commitment in relationshipsPreoccupied – leads to less trusting, possessive, jealous
15 Maintaining Close Relationships Equity – what your receive from a relationship is proportional to what you put inEquity & Satisfaction – those who perceive their relationship as inequitable feel discomfort, distressed, and depression
16 Maintaining Close Relationships Self-Disclosure – revealing intimate aspects of yourself to othersDisclosure Reciprocity – disclosure leads to feelings of liking and reciprocal disclosure
17 Ending Relationships Who Divorces? Individualistic cultures divorce more than communal culturesRisk of divorce depends on whom and when you marry.More likely to stay married if…..
18 Ending RelationshipsDetachment Process – the longer the relationship, the more painful the breakupDivorce Alternatives – loyalty, neglect, active improvementHealthy couples voice concerns, approve and assent, unhappy couples disagree, criticize, and put downUnhappy couples can learn communication skills