Presentation on theme: "Chapter 7 Love, Attraction, Attachment and Intimate Relationships"— Presentation transcript:
1 Chapter 7 Love, Attraction, Attachment and Intimate Relationships
2 What Is Love? Difficult to define special attitude with behavioral and emotional componentsdifferent things to different peopledifficult to measure
3 What Is Love? (cont.) Rubin's "love scale" 3 components attachment caringintimacy
4 Types of Love Passionate love (infatuation) intense psychological feelingsgeneralized physiological arousal, strong sexual desireavoid conflict, feelings of completenessshort-lived
5 Types of Love (cont.) Companionate love less intense friendly affection & deep attachmentfamiliarity & tolerance for short-comingsmore enduring than passionate love
6 Types of Love (cont.) Sternberg's triangular theory 3 components passionintimacycommitment
7 Types of Love (cont.)Fig. 7.1 Sternberg’s love triangle: (passion, intimacy and commitment) and the various kinds of love as reflected in different combinations of the three components. Note: Nonlove is the absence of all three components.
8 Types of Love (cont.) Sternberg's triangular theory passion builds then fadesintimacy & commitment continue to buildvariations in components yield different kinds of loveintimacy alone = friendshippassion alone = infatuationcommitment alone = empty love
9 Types of Love (cont.)Fig. 7.2 Sternberg theorizes that the passion component of love peaks early in a relationship and then declines, whereas the other two components, intimacy and commitment, continue to build gradually over time.
10 Types of Love (cont.) Lee's styles of loving romantic (eros) game-playing (ludus)possessive (mania)compassionate (storge)altruistic (agape)pragmatic (pragma)
11 Falling in Love: Why and With Whom The chemistry of loveneurotransmittersnorepinephrinedopaminephenylethylamine (PEA)oxytocinendorphinsloss and neurotransmitter withdrawal
12 Falling in Love: Why and With Whom (cont.) Proximitymere exposure effectfamiliarity breeds predictability greater comfortgreater proximity often reflects shared interests
13 Falling in Love: Why and With Whom (cont.) Similaritylevel of physical attractivenessage, educational status and religionrace and ethnicityWhy?share similar interests & activitiescommunicate betterconfirm own views & experiencessupportive of values & beliefs
14 Falling in Love: Why and With Whom (cont.) Fig. 7.5 Noncohabitational Sexual Partnerships by Race and Sex
15 Falling in Love: Why and With Whom (cont.) Reciprocitywhen someone shows they like us, we tend to like them backincreases self-esteemincreases likelihood of relationship enduring
16 Falling in Love: Why and With Whom (cont.) Physical attractiveness"what's beautiful is good" beliefstatus by associationmost important in early stagesmay be an indice of physical healthheterosexual males place greater value
17 Falling in Love: Why and With Whom (cont.) Sociobiology- behavior explained by evolutionary needs (Buss)men attracted to young attractive females to maximize reproductive successwomen attracted to older, established men to maximize their reproductive success
18 Falling in Love: Why and With Whom (cont.) Fig. 7.3 How willing would you be to marry someone who….
19 The Development of Intimacy Self-lovegenuine interest, concern, respect for selfprerequisite for a satisfying relationship with others
20 Love and Styles of Attachment Attachment; intense emotional tieAttachment style (Ainsworth)secure attachmentinsecure attachmentanxious-ambivalent attachmentAttachment styles in adulthood
21 The Development of Intimacy (cont.) The phases of a relationshipinclusion: an invitation to relateresponse: agreeing to relatecare: concern for other's welfaretrust: support and care for each otheraffection: warmth & attachment; desireplayfulness: delight in each othergenitality: decision to engage in sex
22 Issues in Loving Relationships Relationship between love & sexseveral possibilitiesquestions to askdoes sexual intimacy deepen a love relationship?do men & women have different views of sex & love?
23 Issues in Loving Relationships (cont.) Does sexual orientation affect views of sex & love?homosexual men more likely to separate love from sex; lesbians more likely to postpone sex until intimacy has been establishedfalling in love with a same sex person often helps in gay or lesbian identity
24 Issues in Loving Relationships (cont.) Sex & relationships on your termssexual expression is an individual decisionsteps to takeknowing and asking for what you wantfriendships without sexsaying "not yet" to sexending a relationshipmanaging rejection
25 Issues in Loving Relationships (cont.) Jealousy in relationshipsJealousy-prone personlow self-esteemhigh value on wealth and popularityNegative consequencesprecipitates partner violencestifles relationship developmentraises anxiety, depression, angerSex differences
26 Maintaining Relationship Satisfaction (cont.) Ingredients in lasting love relationshipself-acceptanceappreciation of each other's qualitiescommitmentgood communication, realistic expectations and shared interestsability to face & deal with conflict
27 Maintaining Relationship Satisfaction (cont.) Characteristics of high quality relationshipsSupportive communicationCompanionshipSexual expression and varietySeeing partner as best friendMaintaining frequent positive interaction
28 Maintaining Relationship Satisfaction (cont.) Individual and relationship growthgrowth and change maintain relationshipovercome obstaclesview problems as challengesnegotiate and renegotiate wantsaccept each other as unique
29 Maintaining Relationship Satisfaction (cont.) Sexual Varietycommunication is criticalbe spontaneousplan for intimate timedon't worry about frequency "standards"