1. Socioemotional Development in Early Adulthood
Chapter 12
Socioemotional Development in Early Adulthood

2. Stability and Change from Childhood to Adulthood
For adults, socioemotional development revolves around adaptively integrating our emotional experiences into enjoyable relationships with others on a daily basis
The first 20 years of life are not meaningless in predicting an adult’s socioemotional life
Attachment plays an important part in socioemotional development

3. Stability and Change from Childhood to Adulthood
Adult’s attachment is categorized as secure, avoidant, or anxious:
Secure attachment style
Adults have positive views of relationships
Avoidant attachment style
Adults are hesitant to get involved in romantic relationships
Anxious attachment style
Adults demand closeness, are less trusting, and more emotional, jealous, and possessive

4. Love and Close Relationships
Love -- vast and complex territory of human behavior, spanning a range of relationships that includes friendship, romantic love, affectionate love, and consummate love
intimacy -- self-disclosure and the sharing of private thoughts

5. Erikson’s Stage: Intimacy Versus Isolation
After individuals are well on their way to establishing stable and successful identities, they enter the sixth developmental stage, which is intimacy versus isolation
Finding oneself by losing oneself in another person
If a person fails to develop an intimate relationship in early adulthood, according to Erikson, isolation results
Gateways to attraction
Exclusion criteria

6. Intimacy and Independence
Development in early adulthood often involves balancing intimacy and commitment with independence and freedom
Intimacy and commitment, and independence and freedom are important themes of development that are worked and reworked throughout the adult years

7. Friendship  
Friendship plays an important role in development throughout the human life span
Women have more close friends and their friendships involve more self-disclosure and exchange of mutual support
Talk is central to their relationships
Women share many aspects of their experiences, thoughts, and feelings

8. Romantic Love Some friendships evolve into romantic love
Also called passionate love, or eros
Romantic love has strong components of sexuality and infatuation
Often predominates in the early part of a love relationship
Sexual desire is the most important ingredient of romantic love

9. Affectionate Love also called companionate love
Affectionate love -- type of love that occurs when someone desires to have the other person near and has a deep, caring affection for the person
also called companionate love
As love matures, passion tends to give way to affection

10. Consummate Love and Sternberg’s Triarchic Theory
Sternberg proposed a triarchic theory of love in which love can be thought of as a triangle with three main dimensions—passion, intimacy, and commitment
Passion is physical and sexual attraction to another
Intimacy relates to the emotional feelings of warmth, closeness, and sharing in a relationship
Commitment is the cognitive appraisal of the relationship and the intent to maintain the relationship

11. Components of love Triangular model of love – Sternberg (1988)
Liking – Intimacy only
Companionate love – Intimacy + Commitment
Empty love – Commitment only
Fatuous love – Commitment + Passion
Infatuation – Passion only
Romantic love – Passion + Intimacy
Consummate love – Passion + Intimacy + Commitment

12. Adult Lifestyles: Single Adults
More adults are remaining single longer today
In the last 30 years, there has been a dramatic rise in the percentage of single adults
Advantages
Freedom to make decisions about one’s life course, pursue one’s own schedule, privacy
Common problems
Loneliness
Forming intimate relationships with other adults
Finding a niche in a society that is marriage-oriented

13. Cohabitation
Cohabitation -- living together in a sexual relationship without being married
cohabitation has changed
many couples view their cohabitation as an ongoing lifestyle
Disadvantages
Disapproval by parents
Difficulty owning property jointly
Legal rights on the dissolution of the relationship are less certain
Elevated risk of partner violence

14. Intimacy Domestic violence Change process – Prochaska & DeClemente
Common couple violence
Intimate terrorism
Change process – Prochaska & DeClemente
Precontemplation
Contemplation
Preparation
Action
Maintenance
Relapse

15. Marriage Traditional marriage Egalitarian marriage
Social exchange theory

16. Married Adults
Changing norm of male-female equality means marital relationships are more fragile and intense
More than 90 percent of U.S. women still marry at some point in their lives; projections indicate that in the future this rate will drop into 80–90 percent range
Marriages in adolescence are more likely to end in divorce than marriages in adulthood
Average duration of a marriage in the United States is currently just over nine years

17. The Benefits of a Good Marriage
Individuals who are happily married live longer, healthier lives than either divorced individuals or those who are unhappily married
People in unhappy marriages may experience numerous physical ailments, such as high blood pressure and heart disease, as well as psychological problems such as anxiety, depression, and substance abuse

18. Discussion Why do people divorce?
How are children affected by divorce? Remarriage?
What do you think about nonbiological parenting?
Is it riskier than biological parenting?

19. Divorced Adults
Increases in divorce are correlated with youthful marriage, low educational level, low income, not having a religious affiliation, divorced parents, having a baby before marriage
These characteristics also increase the likelihood of divorce:
Alcoholism, psychological problems, domestic violence, infidelity, and inadequate division of household labor

20. Strategies for Divorced Adults
Hetherington recommends these:
Think of divorce as a chance to grow personally and to develop more positive relationships
Make decisions carefully
Focus more on the future than the past
Use your strengths and resources to cope with difficulties
Don’t expect to be successful and happy in everything you do

21. Remarried Adults
Divorced adults remarry within three years after their divorce
Men remarry sooner than women
Men with higher incomes are more likely to remarry
Remarriage occurs sooner for partners who initiate a divorce
Adults who get remarried have a lower level of mental health (depression)
Financial status improves after remarrying
More shared decision making

22. Gay and Lesbian Adults
The legal and social context of marriage creates barriers to breaking up that do not exist for same-sex partners
But in other ways, researchers have found that gay and lesbian relationships are similar to heterosexual relationships in their satisfactions, loves, joys, and conflict
Contrary to stereotypes, one partner is masculine and the other feminine in only a small percentage of gay male and lesbian couples
Only a small segment has a large number of sexual partners
Prefer a long-term, committed relationship

23. Social and Emotional Development
Marriage
Marital Satisfaction
What do women want from their husbands? What do husbands want from their wives?
Marriage and emotional exchange:
Gottman (1994) – predict divorce and time frame with 94% accuracy
Lab interactions – how handled disagreements: labeling action vs. person
Women want to talk about emotions, men not as much
Divorce: label person as dumb, insensitive…. Instead of action
Women use contempt or disgust – Men use stonewalling (closing up)
Most satisfied with marriage when conversations were 2-way and non-labeling

24. Making Marriage Work
Gottman found a number of main principles determining whether a marriage will work:
Establishing love maps
Nurturing fondness and admiration
Turning toward each other instead of away
Letting your partner influence you
Creating shared meaning

25. Gender and Communication
Tannen distinguishes two ways of communications:
Rapport talk -- language of conversation; a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships
Report talk -- talk that is designed to give information; includes public speaking
Women enjoy rapport talk more than report talk; men’s lack of interest in rapport talk bothers many women
Men prefer to engage in report talk

26. Discussion: Having Children
Think about your parents’ child rearing with regard to the emphasis they placed on authoritarian, authoritative, permissive or neglectful styles. Do you think you have or will have similar styles? Why or why not?
What do you look forward to or what do you enjoy most about having children?
What is your biggest fear about your ability to raise children?
If you choose to have children, about how old do you want to be (or how old were you) when you have (had) your first child? Why this age and not an older or younger age?