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 1 Intimacy Chapter 10.  2 What do we mean by intimacy? wue7Fs.

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Presentation on theme: " 1 Intimacy Chapter 10.  2 What do we mean by intimacy? wue7Fs."— Presentation transcript:

1  1 Intimacy Chapter 10

2  2 What do we mean by intimacy? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgxxA wue7Fs

3  Not until adolescence do truly intimate relationships first emerge  Characteristics of true intimacy openness, honesty, self-disclosure, and trust  Intimacy becomes an important concern due to changes of  puberty  cognitive changes  social changes 3 Intimacy as an Adolescent Issue

4 Sullivan’s Developmental progression of needs:  need for contact and for tenderness  need for adult participation  need for peers and peer acceptance  Preadolescence  Need for intimacy  Adolescence  Need for sexual contact and intimacy with opposite-sex peer  Need for integration into adult society 4 Theoretical Perspectives

5 5 Erikson’s View of Intimacy  Crisis: Intimacy vs. Isolation  In a truly intimate relationship, two individuals’ identities fuse

6 Development of Intimacy in Adolescence Changes in the Nature of Friendship  As we get older, friendship type changes  Companionship appears before adolescence  Intimacy emerges later  Early adolescence  Self-disclosure and trust emerge as dimensions of friendship 6

7 Changes in the Nature of Friendship  Conflicts that adolescents have with friends  Older adolescents typically have conflicts over private matters  Younger adolescents typically have conflicts over public disrespect 7 Development of Intimacy in Adolescence

8 Changes in the Display of Intimacy (1) Adolescents become more knowledgeable about their friends (2) Adolescents become more responsive to close friends and less controlling (3) Friends become more interpersonally sensitive and show more empathy (4) Friends resolve conflicts more frequently by negotiation or disengagement, not coercion 8 Development of Intimacy in Adolescence

9 9 Sex Differences in Intimacy  Girls’ relationships are more intimate than boys’ across many different indicators  Girls disclose more to their friends  Girls are more sensitive and empathic to friends  Girls are more concerned about trust and loyalty

10 10 Changes in the “Targets” of Intimacy  Sullivan hypothesized that  intimacy with peers replaces intimacy with parents  Intimacy with peers of the opposite sex replaces intimacy with same-sex friends  Actually new targets of intimacy are added to old ones Development of Intimacy in Adolescence

11 Changes in the “Targets” of Intimacy  Different types of intimate relationships with parents and peers  Parent-adolescent relationships  Imbalance of power, teens receive advice  Adolescent peer relationships  Mutual, balanced, equal exchanges 11 Development of Intimacy in Adolescence

12 Friendships with the Other Sex  Little is known about the nature or significance or nonromantic relationships with opposite-sex peers  Boys may profit more from these relationships than do girls 12

13  13 Dating and Romantic Relationships

14 Class Activity  Recall your first date…  How old were you?  How did you approach the boy/girl you liked?  Where did you go?  Alone or in a group?  How did it go?  Letting your child date…  At what age would you allow?  Any rules or limitations?

15 Dating and Romantic Relationships 15  High school dating no longer has the function of mate selection  Romantic relationships are very common, in the past 18 months  25% of 12-years-olds reported having one  50% of 15-year-olds reported having one  70% of 18-year-olds reported having one  But! Good news…

16 The Development of Dating Relationships  Dating serves many purposes, besides developing intimacy  Establishing emotional and behavioral autonomy from parents  Furthering development of gender identity  Learning about oneself as a romantic partner  Establishing/maintaining status and popularity in peer group 16 Dating and Romantic Relationships

17 The Development of Dating Relationships  Four Phases of Adolescent Romance  Infatuation  Status  Intimate  Bonding  May not apply to sexual- minority youth, those who are not exclusively heterosexual 17 Dating and Romantic Relationships "If you're a bird I'm a bird"

18 Impact of Dating on Adolescent Development  Early and intensive dating before age 15  Stunting effect on psychosocial development  Adolescent girls who do not date at all  Retarded social development, excessive dependency on parents, feelings of insecurity  Moderate degree of dating  Potentially most valuable pattern 18 Dating and Romantic Relationships

19  Individuals with satisfying close friendships  do better than those without them, in adolescence and in adulthood  Psychologically healthy adolescents are better able  to make and maintain close relationships with others 19 Intimacy and Adolescent Psychosocial Development

20  Negative effects can occur as well  Frequent conversations about personal problems  can lead to too much introspection and self-consciousness  “Corumination” between friends  can make each of the friends depressed 20


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