2 What do we mean by intimacy? What defines intimacy in your relationships today?Despite this video, Intimacy does not have a physical or sexual connotation.
3 Intimacy as an Adolescent Issue Not until adolescence do truly intimate relationships first emergeCharacteristics of true intimacy openness, honesty, self-disclosure, and trustIntimacy becomes an important concern due to changes ofpubertycognitive changessocial changesCan think of it asCaringDaring to talk about sensitive topoicsSharing personal informationChildren’s friendships are characterized by activities, like gamesPuberty: changes in sexual impulses during puberty provoke interest in sexual relationships and although they are not always emotionally intimate, they often are. Also, puberty evokes intimate discussions like sex, romantic partners, etc.Cognitive Changes: advances in thinking;They have more sophisticated conceptions of social relationships.Allows them to have more mature and meaningful relationships themselves.Preadolescents cannot look at something from someone else’s POV, making intimate interpersonal relationships cognitively impossible so this specific change, allows for intimacy to become very important.What do adolescents want to do most of all?Hang with their friends.This extra time leads to intimate relationships.Social Roles: They may simply have more alone time with their friendsThis would allow for intimate talks that could lead to relationships
4 Theoretical Perspectives Sullivan’s Developmental progression of needs:need for contact and for tendernessneed for adult participationneed for peers and peer acceptancePreadolescenceNeed for intimacyAdolescenceNeed for sexual contact and intimacy with opposite-sex peerNeed for integration into adult societySo there are a few theoretical perspectives on adolescent intimacyProgression of needscontact and for tenderness - infancyadult participation - early childhoodpeers and peer acceptance - middle childhoodNot a biological view and suggested that psychological development can be best understood when looking through interpersonal relations.the need for intimacy emerges in preadolescencetypically satisfied through same-sex friendships.During adolescenceneed is integrated with sexual impulses and desires,focus of the adolescent’s interpersonal concerns are redirected toward romantic relationships with peers.Need for integration into adult society as they get older
5 Theoretical Perspectives Erikson’s View of IntimacyCrisis: Intimacy vs. IsolationIn a truly intimate relationship, two individuals’ identities fuseAnother view is EriksonErikson says thatAdolescents must establish their own identity before they have have an intimate relationshipEver heard of people who say you can never be happy in a relationship unless you’re happy with yourself?Opinions?For example:A couple has its own goals, life, and futureBut each individual has his and her own identity
6 Development of Intimacy in Adolescence Changes in the Nature of FriendshipAs we get older, friendship type changesCompanionship appears before adolescenceIntimacy emerges laterEarly adolescenceSelf-disclosure and trust emerge as dimensions of friendshipThe development of intimacy is very important to look at when looking at adolescentsAs we get older, are friendships change and become more intimateAssociation= “he calls me all the time”Prosocial= “she helps me do things”Intimacy= “ I can tell her secrets”Loyal support= “he will stick up for me”Association and prosocialoccur at all age groupsBut, loyalty and intimacyare absent with kindergarteners but increase drastically between 3rd and 6th grade.
7 Development of Intimacy in Adolescence Changes in the Nature of FriendshipConflicts that adolescents have with friendsOlder adolescents typically have conflicts over private mattersYounger adolescents typically have conflicts over public disrespectCan seee this based on cognitive growth and growth of interpersonal relationships
8 Development of Intimacy in Adolescence Changes in the Display of IntimacyAdolescents become more knowledgeable about their friendsAdolescents become more responsive to close friends and less controllingFriends become more interpersonally sensitive and show more empathyFriends resolve conflicts more frequently by negotiation or disengagement, not coercionSo, not only is the nature of intimate relationships, but they way they are displayed changes as well.What they are proud of or what they worry aboutThis is an increased capacity for intimacyThey show more empathy and social understandingThis is more common between romantic partners and close friends with high intimacy than acquaintances with low intimacy.
9 Development of Intimacy in Adolescence Sex Differences in IntimacyGirls’ relationships are more intimate than boys’ across many different indicatorsGirls disclose more to their friendsGirls are more sensitive and empathic to friendsGirls are more concerned about trust and loyaltyThere is also a sex difference in the development and display of intimacygirls express greater interest in their close friendships than boysThey tend to talk in more intimate termsThey are also more likely to make a distinction in the way they treat their intimate and non intimate friends than boys
10 Development of Intimacy in Adolescence Changes in the “Targets” of IntimacySullivan hypothesized thatintimacy with peers replaces intimacy with parentsIntimacy with peers of the opposite sex replaces intimacy with same-sex friendsActually new targets of intimacy are added to old onesPeers become more important but parents do not become unimportant.Thus, parents are not replacedThink, when you were 13, 14, 15, who was your most intimate relationship with?
11 Development of Intimacy in Adolescence Changes in the “Targets” of IntimacyDifferent types of intimate relationships with parents and peersParent-adolescent relationshipsImbalance of power, teens receive adviceAdolescent peer relationshipsMutual, balanced, equal exchangesDifferent types of intimate relationshipsFrom early adolescence describe their relationships with their best friends and romantic partners were more intimate than with their parentsParent-adolescent relationshipsParents are nurturing, advice giversGo to them for their experience and expertiseAdolescent peer relationshipsMutual, balanced, and more likely to provide them with opportunities to express alternative views and engage in equal exchange of feelings and beliefs.
12 Development of Intimacy in Adolescence Friendships with the Other SexLittle is known about the nature or significance or nonromantic relationships with opposite-sex peersBoys may profit more from these relationships than do girlsSo as we can see, peer relationships begin to have more significance, but what about friendships with the opposite sex?Class, who has more friends of the opposite sex than friends of the same sex?Opposite sex friends are not really important until late adolescencePreadolescence: Boys rarely report friendships with girls, and vice versaLow level of cross-sex friendships in early adolescentsAt this age, contact with opposite sex may be interpreted as romantic involvementClass, do you think girls and guys can be “just friends?”Boys report that friendships with girls are more rewarding than with other boysWhy do you think this is true?
14 Class Activity Recall your first date… Letting your child date… How old were you?How did you approach the boy/girl you liked?Where did you go?Alone or in a group?How did it go?Letting your child date…At what age would you allow?Any rules or limitations?Do you think dating is beneficial?Advantages or disadvantages?Now that you can look back on your first date,As a parent, would you be ok with the way you and your friends were dating?
15 Dating and Romantic Relationships High school dating no longer has the function of mate selectionRomantic relationships are very common, in the past 18 months25% of 12-years-olds reported having one50% of 15-year-olds reported having one70% of 18-year-olds reported having oneBut! Good news…However,1/5 of adolescents 14 and younger1/3 of year oldsAnd more than 50% of year oldsWho are in a relationship, have been dating their significant other for at least 11 months.
16 Dating and Romantic Relationships The Development of Dating RelationshipsDating serves many purposes, besides developing intimacyEstablishing emotional and behavioral autonomy from parentsFurthering development of gender identityLearning about oneself as a romantic partnerEstablishing/maintaining status and popularity in peer groupSo if dating is not for chosing a mate anymore, what is the purpose?Establishing status:May mean that younger adolescents who date may chose to date/ chose their dating partners based on how they will be seen by others
17 Dating and Romantic Relationships The Development of Dating RelationshipsFour Phases of Adolescent RomanceInfatuationStatusIntimateBondingMay not apply to sexual- minority youth, those who are not exclusively heterosexualThis relates to the conception of romance and as adolescents develop, so does their conception of romance, ranging from infatuation to bonding.First discover an interest in socializing with potential romantic and sexual partnersfocus on learning about themselves and seeing themselves as a potential romantic partnerromantic relationships based on infatuation tend to be short lived and based on superficial infatuations2. Main purpose is establishing, improving, or maintaining peer groups and statusdating the wrong person can SERIOUSLY hurt your reputation3. Begin establishing true and meaningful attachments to romantic partnersare now sufficiently involved in the emotional side of romancerelationships become a source of passion and preoccupation4. Concerns about commitment begin to become importantadolescents begin to think about the long-term survival and growth of their romantic attachmentsSexual-minority youthmay be because these adolescents feel, due to social pressure, that they cannot date in the open and feel that they have the freedom to publically display their romantic and sexual interests."If you're a bird I'm a bird"
18 Dating and Romantic Relationships Impact of Dating on Adolescent DevelopmentEarly and intensive dating before age 15Stunting effect on psychosocial developmentAdolescent girls who do not date at allRetarded social development, excessive dependency on parents, feelings of insecurityModerate degree of datingPotentially most valuable patternso it’s interesting to look at relationships and adolescence and like I said before, how relationships based on infatuation, tend not to last and are based on superficial things. So maybe that correlates with age and dating like:Before age 15 associated withIncreased alcohol use, delinquency, and sexual activityGenerally more so for girlsthey are less socially mature, less imaginative, less achievement oriented, less satisfied with themselves and their looks, more depressed, and more superficialThose adolescent girls who DO datehave a stronger self image and report greater acceptance by their friendsIs this the case or do you think it is how they perceive themselves?
19 Intimacy and Adolescent Psychosocial Development Individuals with satisfying close friendshipsdo better than those without them, in adolescence and in adulthoodPsychologically healthy adolescents are better ableto make and maintain close relationships with othersRemember, intimate relationships are not just dating, so friendships can be very important to one’s overall psychosocial growth.Satisfying close relationshipshigher levels of self esteem
20 Intimacy and Adolescent Psychosocial Development Negative effects can occur as wellFrequent conversations about personal problemscan lead to too much introspection and self-consciousness“Corumination” between friendscan make each of the friends depressedso even though most dating and intimate relationships are beneficial, some negative effects can occur as well.Coruminationtalking about and focusing on problems, negative feelings, revisiting problems