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Chapter 5: Intimacy: Developing and Experiencing Affectionate Bonds.

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Presentation on theme: "Chapter 5: Intimacy: Developing and Experiencing Affectionate Bonds."— Presentation transcript:

1 Chapter 5: Intimacy: Developing and Experiencing Affectionate Bonds

2 Intimacy Needs Intimacy refers to – The reciprocity of trust between partners – Emotional closeness – Levels of self-disclosure between partners Both partners are comfortable Can openly share their thoughts and feelings

3 Intimacy Needs Need for affiliation – Need to have relationships Need fulfillment – Drive for interpersonal relations – Fulfilling psychological needs

4 Figure 5.1: The Many Contexts of Intimacy

5 Psychological Needs Intimacy – Drives us to share our innermost feelings with others Social Integration – Needs that make us want to be part of a group Nurture – Need to care and be cared for Assistance – The need for assistance from others Reassurance – Need to know we are wanted, needed and loved

6 Intimacy is Multi-contextual Immediate Context – The physical setting in which couples interact Personal Context – Personality traits, attitudes and belief about the relationship Relational Context – Companionship, trust, level of commitment, needs for intimacy Group Context – Social network of family, friends, peers, neighbors Sociocultural Context – Norms, beliefs and ideals of the culture and subculture

7 Emotional Attachment Emotional attachment is characterized by feelings that promote a sense of closeness, bonding, and connection Three parts of Intimacy – Disclosing things that are personal and private – Experiencing positive feelings about each other – Having interpersonal interactions that improve understandings of each other

8 Components of Intimacy 1.Conflict Resolution: resolution of differences of opinion 2.Affection: showing feelings of emotional closeness 3.Cohesion: commitment to the relationship 4.Sexuality: communicating and fulfilling sexual needs

9 Components of Intimacy 1.Identity: not losing individual identity to couple identity 2.Compatibility: how partners relate to one another at work and play 3.Expressiveness: sharing personal thoughts, beliefs, feelings 4.Autonomy: independence and personal space

10 Types of Intimates Intimate – Capable of experiencing closeness, forming an emotional attachment to another, committed to depth in a relationship Pseudo-intimate – Appears to be intimate but lacks depth, never progress beyond friendship, relationships are doomed from the outset

11 Types of Intimates Pre-intimates – Capable of intimacy, but lack the ability to sustain long-term relationships Stereotyped relationships – Has many casual relationships but these lack depth and commitment Isolates – Socially withdrawn with no need for close interpersonal relationships

12 Figure 5.1: Erikson’s Developmental Stages

13 Formation of Peer Groups Stage One: Pre-Crowd Stage – Kindergarten through fifth grade – Same-sex peer groups: cliques Stage Two: The Beginning of the Crowd – Sixth grade beginning of seventh grade – Shift to crowds of 10 or more members – Practice interacting with opposite sex Stage Three: The Crowd in Transition – End of 8 th grade - beginning of 9 th grade – Smaller cliques are formed – Pairing off into boy/girl couples

14 Formation of Peer Groups Stage Four: The Fully Developed Crowd – Made up of opposite-sex cliques – Socialization into gender role characteristics Stage Five: Crowd Disintegration – Adolescents mature into adulthood – Become involved in serious intimate relationships – Friendships become loosely associated

15 Adolescent/Young Adult Psychosocial Development Establishing an Identity – Beginning of individuation – Development of understanding of themselves – Clearer sense of values, beliefs, and their relationship expectations Establishing Autonomy – Establishing a sense of independence – Taking responsibility for their own actions

16 Adolescent/Young Adult Psychosocial Development Establishing Intimacy – Friendships become more significant – Intimacy experiences differ for males and females Females attach more emotional importance Females emphasize mutual understanding Females discuss problems and activities Males emphasize activity and achievement Males discuss hobbies and sports more

17 Adolescent/Young Adult Psychosocial Development Establishing Comfort with Sexuality – Capacity to have intimate relationships changes – Sexual intimacy is now possible Early Adulthood – Referred to as the bridge years – Deeper intimacy in interpersonal relationships

18 Figure 5.2: Percentage of College Students who have same-group Friendships

19 Figure 5.3: Positive Feelings toward different Races: First Year in College Compared to Fourth Year in College

20 Obstacles to Intimacy Barriers to Developing Intimacy – Family Environment Key to individuals capacity to experience intimacy – Family can be too emotionally close – Family environment may not encourage intimacy or emotions – Past Families and Past Experiences Patterns of relational functioning are passed down from generation to generation Intimacy patterns are replicated with spouses, friends, and significant others

21 Obstacles to Intimacy Barriers to Establishing and Maintaining Intimacy Fear of Intimacy is manifested in many ways – Fear of failure – Fear of being vulnerable – Fear of rejection – Fear of being smothered in relationship – Fear of sex

22 Obstacles to Intimacy Fear of Intimacy – Fear of losing someone we love – Fear to take a risk – Fear of accepting responsibility – Fear of anger or hostility – Fear of abandonment – Fear of being found out

23 Obstacles to Intimacy Barriers to Establishing and Maintaining Intimacy – Communication Crucial to the process of personal sharing Familial intimacy is not possible without effective communication Requires personal self disclosure to promote reciprocal sharing

24 Table 5.2: Miller Social Intimacy Scale (MSIS)

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