Personal Growth What’s Your Emotional IQ?

Your Emotional IQ Daniel Goleman I.Q. contributes only about 20% of the factors that determine success Emotional intelligence is another key factor (Big 5) –Self-awareness –Mood Management –Self-motivation –Impulse Control –People Skills

1. Self-awareness Ability to recognize a feeling as it happens Start with self; allows you to lead your own life Must tune-in to “somatic markers” (intuition) Listen to your body; notice subtle changes in mood Be curious about why you act/react in certain ways Key for next factor Your Emotional IQ

2. Mood Management When vs. How long (Tice) Dealing with negative moods (rage) Letting it out, right then and there Reframing - consciously reinterpreting a situation in a more positive light (cut-off) Going off alone to “cool down;” distract self Relaxation techniques - deep breathing, meditation (many kinds), praying Your Emotional IQ

3. Self-motivation Positive motivation - generating feelings of enthusiasm and confidence towards a desired outcome Keys: clear goals, optimistic attitude Seligman research - Job applicants (Met-Life) Passed aptitude test & very pessimistic vs. Failed aptitude test & very optimistic “I’m a failure” (I) vs. Wrong approach (E) Your Emotional IQ

3. Self-motivation (cont’) Seligman research - Job applicants (Met-Life) Caution: Must be self-aware (strengths, weaknesses) to avoiding rejecting responsibility Hope for pessimists: catch self-defeating thoughts as they occur and reframe in realistic ways “I always do badly on multiple choice tests” vs. “They’re not easy for me, but if I review my notes and quiz myself, I do ok” Your Emotional IQ

4. Impulse Control Ability to delay impulse in the service of a goal Mischel research (Pre-school, marshmallows) Behavior as 4 yr. olds predicted adolescent behavior (social competence, self-assertion, coping skills, stubbornness, indecisiveness, stress) It’s a skill: ability to resist impulse can be strengthened through practice Remind self of long-term goals and benefits Associate with others who think long-term “Don’t make permanent decision based on temporary circumstances” Your Emotional IQ

5. People Skills The capacity to know how another feels Inside-out approach is key (self/others) Most effective leaders are first leaders of themselves Building networks with other smart, talented, passionate, dedicated others is a key for long-term success and happiness Your Emotional IQ

Self-Rating: ( 1=very low, 2=low, 3=average, 4=high, 5=very high) 1. Self-awareness Mood Management Self-motivation Impulse Control People Skills12345 Your Emotional IQ ***Choose one of the factors and focus on improving in that area for the 1-2 weeks; keep a record in journal; watch others who possess that skill