1 Parenting Skills

2 Parental Employment 92% of all families with children have one or both parents employed 92% of all families with children have one or both parents employed Need or want 2 incomes Need or want 2 incomes Single parents work to support children Single parents work to support children

3 Some parents work inside the home Some parents work inside the home Home-based workers use computers, cell phones, and faxes to work 24-7 Home-based workers use computers, cell phones, and faxes to work 24-7 Parents must set aside time and space to complete work tasks efficiently Parents must set aside time and space to complete work tasks efficiently

4 Effects on Children Research shows that babies have fewer adjustment problems if mothers return to work before they are three months old or after two years Research shows that babies have fewer adjustment problems if mothers return to work before they are three months old or after two years Another awkward time is 11 to 13 years, children are facing lots of changes Another awkward time is 11 to 13 years, children are facing lots of changes

5 Some studies say today’s children are receiving as much attention today from working mom’s as they did with full time moms Some studies say today’s children are receiving as much attention today from working mom’s as they did with full time moms More time saving home appliances which frees up more time More time saving home appliances which frees up more time

6 Children with working parents tend to miss fewer days of school Children with working parents tend to miss fewer days of school Enjoy meaningful and well-planned free- tome with parents Enjoy meaningful and well-planned free- tome with parents Help with household chores and learn home-care skills Help with household chores and learn home-care skills Often show more confidence Often show more confidence

7 Children in these homes have broader terms about gender roles Children in these homes have broader terms about gender roles Such as women as homemakers and men as breadwinners Such as women as homemakers and men as breadwinners

8 Effect on Parents Find a balance between work and family Find a balance between work and family Work affects emotional state of parents Work affects emotional state of parents Role strain= feeling of having too many tasks to do at once Role strain= feeling of having too many tasks to do at once Role guilt = feeling of not doing the best job at work or at home because of role strain Role guilt = feeling of not doing the best job at work or at home because of role strain

9 If parents enjoy working or staying at home children adjust really well If parents enjoy working or staying at home children adjust really well Some parents spoil children when they feel guilt for being away from them Some parents spoil children when they feel guilt for being away from them

10 Balancing Family and Work Parents need to budget their time carefully Parents need to budget their time carefully Let minor tasks slide Let minor tasks slide Plan family time Plan family time Quality time = when parents are totally attentive to their children Quality time = when parents are totally attentive to their children

11 Working parents should meet and talk with teachers Working parents should meet and talk with teachers Attend school related events Attend school related events Parents should also include children in their work like Parents should also include children in their work like

12 Working parents still need to set limits for their children Working parents still need to set limits for their children Cannot make up for time away from children Cannot make up for time away from children Need and want guidance Need and want guidance

13 Parents who return to work after time spent at home need to recognize and accept the feelings of their children Parents who return to work after time spent at home need to recognize and accept the feelings of their children 2 to 4 yr olds may regress 2 to 4 yr olds may regress

14 Children usually express their feelings during early evening hours when everyone is tired or hungry Children usually express their feelings during early evening hours when everyone is tired or hungry Parents need a few quiet minutes and then reconnect with the children Parents need a few quiet minutes and then reconnect with the children

15 Children & Self Care In 1800’s problems of children of working parents began to surface In 1800’s problems of children of working parents began to surface Stayed home alone for portion of day and cared for themselves Stayed home alone for portion of day and cared for themselves During WWII known as latchkey children because they kept the house keys around their necks During WWII known as latchkey children because they kept the house keys around their necks

16 Today we call them “children in self care” Today we call them “children in self care” 7 million under age of 13 are in self care 7 million under age of 13 are in self care when teens are included the number greatly increases when teens are included the number greatly increases

17 Why Increases? More dual-career and working single- parent households More dual-career and working single- parent households Decrease in number of extended families in which other adults are home Decrease in number of extended families in which other adults are home High costs of child care High costs of child care Lack of quality before and after school programs designed for school age children Lack of quality before and after school programs designed for school age children

18 Plan for self care carefully Plan for self care carefully How mature is the chi ld? How mature is the chi ld? How safe is the home? How safe is the home? How safe is the neighborhood? How safe is the neighborhood?

19 How do children feel about self-care? How do children feel about self-care? Parents need to teach children skills needed to provide self-care Parents need to teach children skills needed to provide self-care

20 Skills Learn safety rules Learn safety rules Work out a way for parent to know the answers to where, what, and who the children are with Work out a way for parent to know the answers to where, what, and who the children are with Set rules about use of appliances, TV, computer, friends over, etc Set rules about use of appliances, TV, computer, friends over, etc

21 Establish routine for children to follow Establish routine for children to follow Begin self-care gradually Begin self-care gradually Start with a short period Start with a short period Self-care always more risky than adult supervision Self-care always more risky than adult supervision