3-2 Objectives Explain the importance of consistency in guiding children. Apply effective techniques for encouraging appropriate behavior. Explain how and why to set limits. Identify effective ways of dealing with misbehavior.

Understanding Guidance Guiding behavior is disciplining children when they do something wrong. Punishment is part of guidance, BUT just a small part. Guidance doesn’t mean “making children behave.” MYTH

Understanding Guidance Guidance – using firmness and understanding to help children learn to control their own behavior Self-discipline – the ability to control your own behavior Emotional/Social Children learn to get along with others Children learn how to handle their feelings in acceptable ways

Understanding Guidance Moral Development Very young children understand right and wrong only in terms of being praised or scolded Conscience – inner sense of what is right

Consistency It is key to guiding children’s behavior. Clearly making rules and applying them in the same way in all situations. Children lose trust and confidence in a caregiver who constantly changes rules or fails to enforce them in a consist way. Caregivers need to agree in advance on rules and ways to enforce them.

Understanding Guidance 3 Ways Adults Can Guide Children Behavior Appropriately: Encourage appropriate behavior Set and enforce limits Deal with inappropriate behavior in effective ways.

Encouraging Appropriate Behavior Setting a Good Example Children learn best by being shown what to do rather than just by being told. Telling What Is Expected Children need to be told what is expected of them in ways they can understand. Praising Appropriate Behavior Positive reinforcement – response that encourages a particular behavior

Encouraging Appropriate Behavior Guidelines to Encourage Appropriate Behavior Be Specific Notice the behavior a soon as possible Recognize Small Steps Help the child take pride in his/her actions Tailor the encouragement to the needs of the child.

Group Activity: Management/Leadership Skills Suggest choices that a caregiver might offer to encourage appropriate behavior: A two year old refuses to get into the bathtub. A three-year-old refuses to leave the park. A three-year-old is throwing food onto the floor. A five-year-old does not want to help set the table. A six-year-old wants to splash through deep puddles.

Offering Choices As children become more mature, they can be allowed to make some decisions for themselves. This helps them learn that they are responsible for their actions.

Setting Limits Limits include physical restrictions Example - preventing a child from crossing the street A rule of behavior “We don’t hit other people.”

What Should Limits Be? Limits should keep children from hurting themselves, other people, or property. Children will respect and follow limits if they are few and reasonable.

What Should Limits Be? When setting limits keep these questions in mind: Does the limit allow the child to learn, explore and grow? Is the limit fair an appropriate for the child’ age? Does the limit benefit the child, or is it merely for the adult’s convenience?

Making Clear Limits State limits simply and briefly. Limits must be clear. Use a calm direct tone of voice when setting limits.

Making Limits Clear Four Steps in Setting Limits Show understanding of the child’s desires. Set the limit and explain it. Acknowledge the child’s feelings. Give alternatives. Once established and explained, limits should be firmly and consistently enforced.

Discussion Activity: What happens when two parents set different limits? Could divorce make this more likely to happen? How? How can communication help people in all these situations?

Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior A caregiver should ask themselves these questions when responding to a child’s misbehavior: Is the expected behavior appropriate, given the child’s development? Does the child understand that the behavior is wrong? Was the behavior done knowingly and deliberately, or was it beyond the child’s control?

Unintentional Behavior Shouldn’t be punished. Misbehavior is also unintentional if the child has no way of knowing it was wrong.

Using Punishment Effectively Negative reinforcement – response aimed at discouraging a child from repeating a behavior In punishing, the parent should make clear that he/she disapproves the behavior, but she still loves the child. First Offense Give warning rather than punishment Second Offense Punishment is an order

Using Punishment Effectively Useful Techniques Natural Consequences Loss of privileges Giving time-out Time-out – short period of time in which a child sits away from other people and/or the activity

Poor Disciplinary Measures Bribing Making the children promise to behave Shouting or yelling Shaming or belittling Threating to withhold love

Handling Conflict Using Words No hitting or lashing out Speaking calmly Counting to ten Helps control emotions