1. Guiding Children
Chapter 3.2

2. The Tasks of Parenting There are three basic tasks of parenting.
To meet the child’s basic needs
To nurture the child.
To guide children to show appropriate behavior.

3. Meeting Basic Needs Food, clothing, shelter Watch over their safety
Begin teaching them language
Take an active role in schooling
Teach them to get along
Love them

4. Nurture Encourage , Enrich Show love, support and concern
Nurturing parents give children the freedom they need in order to learn.
Remove as many barriers as possible so children can explore.
Children don’t need fancy toys.

5. Guide Use words kids can understand. Be clear. Be positive and polite.
Give praise and love.
Limit directions to those that are essential.
Talk about what’s important to the child, take an interest.

6. Understanding Guidance
Using firmness and understanding to help children learn to control their behaviors.
As a result we should get kids who are self-disciplined.
In guidance, there is some discipline involved, but only when necessary.

7. Effective Guidance
Helps children to get along with others and handle their feelings.
Makes kids feel secure.
Helps in the moral development.
Gradually children develop a conscience (a sense of right and wrong.)

8. Consistency
Must clearly make the rules and apply them the same way in all situations.
Kids lose trust and confidence when you don’t.
Especially important when more than one person cares for that child.

9. Three Ways to Guide Behavior
Encourage appropriate behavior.
Set and enforce limits.
Deal with poor behavior effectively.

10. Encourage Appropriate Behavior
Setting a good example.
Telling what is expected.
Around age 3, kids begin to understand reasoning. (It hurts the dog when you pull his tail.)

11. Praising Appropriate Behavior
Positive reinforcement/likely to repeat action.
Be specific
Notice the behavior as soon as possible.
Recognize small steps
Help the child take pride in his actions.
Tailor the encouragement to the needs of the child.
Offer choices
As kids get older, let them make some decisions.

12. Setting Limits What should they be?
Should help keep kids from hurting themselves, other people or property.
Need to be few and reasonable.
Keep in mind:
Does the limit allow the child to learn, explore and grow?
Fair and appropriate for age?
Does the limit benefit the child merely for the convenience of the adult?

13. Making Limits Clear State limits simply and briefly Must be clear
Use a calm voice

14. Setting Limits Includes Four Steps
Show understanding of the child’s desires.
Set the limit and explain it.
Acknowledge the child’s feelings.
Give alternatives.

15. Dealing With Inappropriate Behavior
Is the expected behavior appropriate given the child’s development?
Does the child understand that the behavior is wrong?
Was the behavior done knowingly and on purpose or was it beyond the child’s control?

16. Unintentional Behavior
Rather than scolding, use it for a teaching moment.

17. Using Punishment Effectively
Punishment is negative reinforcement.
The first time a child breaks a rule, give a warning.
The second time, might need a consequence.

18. Useful Techniques Natural consequences: might be punishment enough.
Loss of privilege: if natural consequences isn’t suitable, this might work.
Best for ages 5 and up.
Give time-out: one minute for each year of age.

19. Poor Disciplinary Measures
Bribing- the child may begin to expect a reward for appropriate behavior.
Making children promise to behave- kids will naturally make mistakes, don’t make them feel guilty.
Shout or yell- frightens a young child, use a calm voice.
Shaming or belittling-harms the child’s self confidence.
Threatening to withhold love- creates fear of abandonment.

20. Help Children Learn How to Handle Their Anger
Use words
Speak calmly
Count to 10