Counseling is the application of wisdom to our personal problems. The primary souce of wisdom is the Bible and the creative approaches to the application of its principles to lives. 1 Principles presented here are adapted from Dr. Larry Crabb, Basic Biblical Counseling

2 I have to respect myself. At times I don’t feel my value as a person. I need to feel complete. I need to accept myself as I am. I need to be important to somebody. I cannot accept myself if I other people don’t think I am worth anything. I need to feel important. I have to see myself as capable of doing something usefull to someone. But even if I percieve all these characteristics, it is not enough. If I am going to feel important, I have to be loved by someone without conditions, someone that will accept me without demands or pressure to be different. If that person loves me for how I act or perform, then I know that it is possible that I fail to fulfill what they expect of me and thus, I loose their love. I need to recieve a love and acceptance that is impossible to loose, no matter what I do.

3 PERSONAL VALUE SEGURITYSIGNIFICANCE What one feels: Loved Acceptance Listened to Afect Being special What one feels: Importance Winner Successful Accomplish goals Part of a worthwhile cause Respected

 When one feels that your security is threatened, you flee toward a security (elected according to your beliefs and values)  When you loose significance, you proceed according to what you believe to be important. ◦ If you believe that money or prestige will bring you significance, you would reject whatever thing that is contrary ◦ It is difficult to admit the guilt or failure because you loose significance. 4

5 Needs that only God can satisfy Without God, the highest needs that can be satisfied The inevitable long-term consequences, of a life without God Significance Security Power Pleasure Violence Inmorality

 We are motivated naturally to satisfy our needs  The motivation is the energy that effects a specific behavior  Behavior is always directed toward a goal  When one cannot attain the goal, a state of imbalance results  All behavior is motivated 6

 I feel the need to be significant (Pro 1).  My false system of values indicates that the possession of a lot of money produces significance (Pro.2)  Thus my goal becomes the acquiring the maximum (Pro 3).  When the pastor speaks of being generous, it is possible that I will feel bad, and I repent, but in a little while I begin to resent the loosing of my money.  If I am not able to gain a lot of money, I feel useless, without value (Pro.4) which indicates that my beliefs continue in my heart. Now I am tempted to violate my ethics to accomplish what I need, so I harden my conscious inorder to stay somewhat calm within.  Now a variety of manifestations help justify my failure. (Por. 5) 7

8 1. Biological needs 2. Needs for security (physical) 3. Need of love and companionship 4. Needs to be accepted by others 5. Needs of self-esteem 6. Need of fulfillment or altruism Selfish or egotistic

9 Conscious mind Event Evaluation A reaction or behavior

10 Evaluation of what I am going to do Satan Worldly philosophy Event Conscious mind or unconscious mind Bad programming

 I need to expierence financial success in order to feel good  I can’t tolerate criticism because it makes me feel insecure and a failure. Everyone should approve everything I do.  My security depends upon my spiritual maturity.  I cannot be a failure if I am going to respect myself.  I believe that my significance depends upon my developed talent, so I do whatever is necessary to accomplish it.  If I still can’t acomplish it, my incapacity will be a threat, so … ◦ I will duplicate my effort in practice ◦ I will think of an excuse to cease practicing (accident, sickness). I will say, “I could have been a great ______, if it were not for ______” ◦ I am retire from this activity or dedicate myself to another activity or retire from everything so I don’t feel like a failure. 11

 An idea has been years in formation, and reinforced by experiences and observations.  They are more than logical ideas, rather are affective (formed with emotions) and cognitive (formed through personal reasoning)  The value of the relationship with the counselor and the confidence that he will not make me feel rejected are vital.  Deceiving yourself is difficult to admit (denial) because of pride and self-esteem. 12

13 Evaluation of what to do Satan Worldly philosophy Conscious mind and Unconscious mind Bad programming General inclination Towards yourself ChristBibleEvent

14 My security and significance as a person depend only upon my relationship with Christ. Although I don’t enjoy feeling rejected now (etc.), my value as a person still has not been touched. My present experience is not a desaster to me personally. I know that God can make a good result from every circumstance; so, I will continue and will trust even more in Him, and I will try to respond Biblically without quitting (Fil 1:12-18)

15 Evaluation of what I am going to do Worldly philosophy Bad programming Event Conscious mind and unconscious mind Towards yourself Bible General inclination Christ Will Biblical action

16 Evaluation of what I am going to do Worldly philosophy Bad programming Event Conscious mind and unconscious mind Towards yourself Bible General inclination Christ Will Biblical action Compassion

 I will be significant if... ◦ I have money ◦ I’m the best or most distinguished ◦ I never make a mistake ◦ My children behave well ◦ I am included in important circles  I will be secure if … ◦ I have a mate that loves me ◦ No one ever criticizes me ◦ Everyone accepts me ◦ My situation never changes and I continue secure in my business 17 Needs Motivation

18 Needs Motivation Basic suposition Behavior orientated toward a goal (what we believe to be necessary) Goal Partial or temporal satisfaction Sense of emptiness or vanity

19 NeedsMotivation Basic suposition Behavior oriented towards a goal (what we believe to be necessary) Goal Partial or temporal satisfaction Sense of emptiness or vanity Existencial desperation Suicide

20 Needs Motivation Basis supositions Behavior oriented towards a goal (what we believe to be necessary) Frustration Goal Obstacle

21 1.Unreachable goals Guilt 2. External circumstances Resentment 3. Fear of failure Depression, anxious