1. Healthful Friendships

2. What is a healthful friendship?
• A balanced relationship that promotes mutual respect and healthful behavior
Improves the quality of life
• Friends…
take a personal interest in each other
support each other
encourage each other
participate in social activities together

3. “A friend is a gift you give
yourself.”
“To have a friend,
you must be a friend.”

4. Conversation Keepers/Killers
Asking questions Showing interest in others Listening carefully Responding to others Encouraging others Being positive Making eye contact Sharing ideas/feelings Encouraging others to talk
Talking about yourself Appearing disinterested Interrupting Changing the topic Bragging Complaining Avoiding eye contact Talking about others Dominating the conversation

5. Rejection Everyone experiences rejection
Rejection: the feeling of being unwelcomed or unwanted
How should you respond?
Anger?
Bury feelings?
Don’t care?

6. Balanced Friendships
Friendship requires the commitment of 2! Balanced friendship: 2 people give and receive from each other acts of kindness EQUAL giving and receiving!!

7. Ways to Give and Receive
Giving
Receiving
Listening Helping celebrate success Buying special gifts
Listening Accepting gifts or help Express gratitude

8. One-Sided Friendships
One-sided friendship: a friendship in which one person does most of the giving and the other person does most of the receiving
Why?
People Pleasers
Don’t know how to receive from others

9. People pleaser: person who constantly seeks the approval of others
– Insecure
– Give to be liked and noticed by others

10. “Users”
People who do most or all of the receiving Take from others to get their needs met Little interest in meeting the needs of their “friends” The believe they always should come first Want to be in control of decisions They do not know how to become close to others

11. Ending Friendships Changing friends is a part of growing up!
Why do friendships change?
Friends may move away
A friend may break confidence
Interests change
There are times when a person needs to be objective about and decide if a “friend” is a friend
Encourages wrong actions contrary to one’s own values

12. Responsibility & decision making
Locus of control
Responsibility & decision making

13. Definition
The extent to which individuals believe that they can control events that affect them.
There are two types:
Internal
External

14. Internal vs. External The person believes they can control their life.
Outcomes are a result of their own abilities
Hard work leads to positive outcomes
Every action has its consequences
The person believes that their decisions & life are controlled by environmental factors.
Blame others for the outcomes rather than themselves
Luck
Fate
Powerful others

15. Example A student did not perform well on a test.
What would be the reaction of a person who has an internal locus of control?
What would be the reaction of a person who has an external locus of control?

16. How does it differ from person to person?
Age
Gender (depending on the topic)
Cultures
Stress

17. Tips for developing an Internal Locus of Control
Set goals for yourself
Develop decision making and problem solving skills
Build self-confidence
Pay attention to your self-talk

18. “The key for your own personal development is to understand your natural tendency for reaction and then adapt it to the situations you are faced with.”

19. Importance of setting goals
Help people focus on particular issues or activities
Due to the fact that a goal is often written, the person will be reminded that the issue still needs to be addressed and will continue their efforts to accomplish the goal.
Once the goal is accomplished, the person may feel a sense of satisfaction.
Promotes confidence and the challenge to attack more complicated and difficult issues.

20. Guidelines to keep in mind…
Understand yourself
Have a specific task in mind
Be positive
Be realistic
Have control over the outcome
Challenge yourself!

21. Six Steps in the goal setting process:
Identify your goal in writing. If it’s not written, it is just a wish.
Identify any short-term goals or steps necessary to achieve a long-term goal.
Identify all resources that can assist you in achieving the goal.
Identify alternative plans and solutions for any conflicts that may arise.
Continue to improve and refine your plan.
Evaluate. What went well? What could you improve on when pursuing a similar goal in the future?