Choices in Relationships Chapter Six: Singlehood and Same-Sex Relationships

Single Lifestyle Social Movements and Single Lifestyle –Though over 95 percent of U.S. adults eventually marry, more people are delaying marriage and living the single lifestyle. –In effect, there is a new wave of youth who feel that their commitment is to themselves in early adulthood and to marriage in their late 20s and 30s, if at all.

Single Lifestyle Categories of Singles –Never-Married Singles –Divorced Singles –Widowed Singles

Single Lifestyle

Singlehood as a Lifestyle Choice

Single Lifestyle Is Singlehood for You? –Although singlehood offers freedom, single people are sometimes challenged by such issues as loneliness, less money, and establishing an identity. Singlehood and HIV Infection Risk –Unmarried individuals who are not married or not living with someone are at greater risk for contracting HIV and other STDs.

Single Parenthood Single Mothers by Choice –Bock (2000) noted that single mothers by choice (SCMs) are, for the most part, in the middle to upper class, mature, well-employed, politically aware, and dedicated to motherhood.

Single Parenthood –Responding to the demands of parenting with limited help –Adult emotional needs –Adult sexual needs –Lack of money –Negative life outcomes for the child in a single- parent family –Guardianship –Prenatal care –Absence of a father Challenges Faced by Single Parents

Intentional Community Living: Twin Oaks Twin Oaks is one such community of ninety adults and fifteen children living together on 450 acres of land in Louisa, Virginia. Known as an intentional community, the commune was founded in 1967 and is one of the oldest nonreligious intentional communities in the United States.

Same-Sex Relationships The Nature of Sexual Orientation –The term sexual orientation refers to the direction of one’s thoughts, feelings, and sexual interactions toward members of the same sex, the other sex, or both sexes.

Same-Sex Relationships

The Prevalence of Homosexuality, Heterosexuality, and Bisexuality –Because of embarrassment, a desire for privacy, or fear of social disapproval, many individuals are not willing to answer questions about their sexuality honestly.

Same-Sex Relationships The Origins of Sexual Orientation: Nature or Nurture? –Biological Origins of Sexual Orientation –Environmental Explanations of Sexual Orientation

Gay Relationships Gay Male Relationships –Common stereotypes of gay men include that they do not develop close, intimate relationships with their partners gay men do not seek monogamous long-term relationships. same-sex couples (male or female) adopt “husband” and “wife” roles

Gay Relationships Lesbian Relationships –Like many heterosexual women, most gay women value stable, monogamous relationships that are emotionally as well as sexually satisfying. Bisexual Relationships –Contrary to the common myth that bisexuals are, by definition, nonmonogamous, some bisexuals prefer monogamous relationships (especially considering the widespread concern about HIV).

Gay Relationships Sexual Orientation and HIV Infection –Most worldwide HIV infection occurs through heterosexual transmission. –Women who have sex exclusively with other women have a much lower rate of HIV infection than men (both gay and straight) and women who have sex with men.

Heterosexism, Homonegativity, Homophobia, and Biphobia Heterosexism –Heterosexism refers to the denigration and stigmatization of any behavior, person, or relationship that is not heterosexual. –Heterosexism says that to be heterosexual is good; to be homosexual is bad.

Heterosexism, Homonegativity, Homophobia, and Biphobia Homonegativity and Homophobia –Homonegativity, the construct that refers to antigay responses, is multidimensional and includes negative feelings, thoughts, and behavior. –Homophobia refers to emotional responses toward and aversion to homosexuals.

Heterosexism, Homonegativity, Homophobia, and Biphobia Biphobia –Refers to negative attitudes and emotional responses and discriminatory behavior toward bisexuals. Lesbians seem to exhibit greater levels of biphobia than do gay men. This is because many lesbian women associate their identity with a political stance against sexism and patriarchy.

Discrimination against Homosexual and Bisexual Relationships Discrimination in Marriage and Family Relationships –The rights afforded married heterosexuals but denied pair-bonded homosexuals who love and care for each other are numerous: child custody confidentiality of conversations crime victim’s recovery benefits domestic violence protection family leave to care for sick partner assumption of spouse’s pension automatic housing lease transfer automatic inheritance bereavement leave burial determination

Discrimination against Homosexual and Bisexual Relationships Discrimination in Child Custody, Visitation, and Adoption Rights –Two grounds are typically used. The first, “presumes the parent to be unfit merely based on the existence of same-sex orientation. Lesbian mothers are thought to be ‘unfit parents, emotionally unstable, or unable to assume a maternal role’”

Discrimination against Homosexual and Bisexual Relationships –The second ground is the nexus approach, which is used to deny custody to homosexual parents on the basis of their being a negative influence on the sexual development of the child, the social stigmatization of the child who is being parented by homosexual parents, and the potential sexual molestation of children by homosexual parents.

Coming Out to Family Members Coming Out to One’s Spouse and Children –Coming out can be an emotionally charged experience. –Feelings associated with coming out may include: Fear Humiliation Shame Embarrassment Intimidation Nervou sness Frustrat ion Shock Lonelin ess

Coming Out to Family Members Coming Out to One’s Parents –Deciding whether to tell one’s parents of one’s homosexuality is very difficult. –In general, young adults are more likely to come out to mothers than to fathers. –Parental reaction to a child’s disclosure of homosexuality is diverse and may not follow the assumed shock, denial, and isolation pattern.