any rental, lease, or lending of the program. Chapter 7: Emotional Messages Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved This multimedia product and its contents are protected under copyright law. The following are prohibited by law: any public performance or display, including transmission of any image over a network; preparation of any derivative work, including the extraction, in whole or in part, of any images; any rental, lease, or lending of the program.

Principles of Emotions and Emotional Messages Emotional communication, emotional intelligence, social intelligence Feelings are a part of communication and meaning Dyssemia – inability to engage in emotional communication Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Principles of Emotions (cont.) Emotions may be primary or blended Primary emotions of joy, trust, fear, surprise, sadness, disgust, anger and anticipation Blended emotions combine primary emotions Emotion wheel model Emotions close in meaning are close together Emotions opposite in meaning are opposite Shades show blended emotions Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Principles of Emotions (cont.) Emotions are influenced by body, mind, and culture Emotions and emotional communication may be adaptive or maladaptive Adaptive emotions help you adjust appropriately Maladaptive emotions get in the way of adjusting and accomplishing goals Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Principles of Emotions (cont.) Emotions can be used strategically Strong and honest expression of your feelings Used for personal ends to control or manipulate Emotions are communicated verbally and nonverbally Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Principles of Emotions (cont.) Emotional expression is governed by display rules Cultural display rules Gender display rules Emotions have consequences Emotions are contagious Emotional contagion Emotional appeal Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Obstacles to Communicating Emotions Societal and cultural customs Gender Organization Fear, risks Inadequate interpersonal skills Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Emotional Competence Emotional understanding or self-awareness of your feelings and their effects “What am I feeling and what made me feel this way?” “What exactly do I want to communicate?” “What are my communication choices?” Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Emotional Competence (cont.) Emotional expression Be specific Describe the reasons for your feelings Address mixed feelings Try to anchor your emotions in the present Own your feelings, take personal responsibility for them with I-statements Ask for what you want Respect emotional boundaries Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Emotional Competence (cont.) Emotional responding Look at nonverbal cues to understand feelings Look for cues about what the person wants you to do Use active listening Empathize Focus on the other person Remember communication is irreversible Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Emotional Competence (cont.) Grieving communication Confirm the person and their emotions Give them permission to grieve Avoid trying to focus on the bright side Encourage them to talk about their feelings and their loss Be sensitive to leave-taking cues Let them know you care and you’re available Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Emotional Competence (cont.) Anger communication Get ready to communicate calmly and logically Examine your communication choices Consider the advantages of delaying the expression of your anger Remember cultural differences in display rules Apply interpersonal skills Remember communication is irreversible Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved