4 Different Parenting Styles and their Effects on Children

Dimensions of Parenting Parental warmth – The degree to which parents are accepting, responsive, and compassionate with their children. Parental control – The degree to which parents set limits, enforce rules, and maintain discipline with children.

Four styles of parenting (Baumrind, 1973, 1991; Maccoby & Martin, 1983) Authoritarian parents – Exert firm control but are rejecting or unresponsive to their children. Warmth: Low Control: High

1st Parenting Style: AUTHORITARIAN Expect children to follow strict rules Does not explain why rules should be obeyed Punish children who disobey rules Are controlling/power-oriented Use verbal threats or spanking

1st Parenting Style: AUTHORITARIAN Effects of Parenting Style on Child: Obedient Proficient (good at what they do) may view parent as enemy May be confused about what is right/wrong Have  levels happiness & self-esteem compared to children who do not have authoritarian parents

Authoritarian Style: Limits without Freedom. Parents’ word is law, parents have absolute control. Misconduct is punished Affection and praise are rarely give Parents try to control children's’ behavior and attitudes They value unquestioned obedience Children are told what to do, how to do it, and where to do it, and when to do it.

Outcomes of Authoritarian Style Blindly Obedient Distrustful Withdrawn Unhappy Hostile Not High Achievers Passive Children from authoritarian homes are so strictly controlled that they are often prevented from making their own decisions

Four styles of parenting (Baumrind, 1973, 1991; Maccoby & Martin, 1983) Permissive parents – Warm but have little control over their children. Warmth: High Control: Low

2nd Parenting Style: PERMISSIVE Has no firm rules, lenient Accepts child as he/she is Disciplines through love, praise and affection Child can do no wrong Communicates and nurtures child Acts more like a friend than parent

2nd Parenting Style: PERMISSIVE Effects of Parenting Style on Child: Dependent Irresponsible / lack self-control Immature Experiences problems with authority Experiences problems in school (i.e. completing projects)

Permissive Style: Freedom without limits Parents allow their children to do their own thing. Little respect for order and routine. Parents make few demands on children. Discipline is lax: rarely punish Non controlling, non-demanding Usually warm, indulgent Children walk all over the parents

Outcome of Permissive Parenting Aggressive Least self-reliant Least self-controlled Least exploratory Most unhappy Children from permissive homes often get used to having what they want, but without guidance; they can be spoiled, aimless, anxious, insecure, rebellious

Four styles of parenting (Baumrind, 1973, 1991; Maccoby & Martin, 1983) Rejecting/neglecting parents – Don’t set limits and are unresponsive to their children’s needs. Warmth: Low Control: Low

3rd Parenting Style: UNINVOLVED Makes few demands Low responsiveness to child Detached from child, but fulfills his/her basic needs In extreme cases parents REJECT or NEGLECT needs of child

3rd Parenting Style: UNINVOLVED Effects of Parenting Style on Child: Feel neglected / abandoned, have  self-esteem Lack self-control

Outcomes Children raised by rejecting/neglecting parents fare the worst of all. Compared to other children, they show higher rates of delinquency, alcohol and drug use, and early sexual activities. They perform more poorly in school and show other disruptions in peer relations and cognitive development (Park & Buriel, 1998).

Four styles of parenting (Baumrind, 1973, 1991; Maccoby & Martin, 1983) Authoritative parents – Are warm and exert firm control. Warmth: High Control: High

4th Parenting Style: DEMOCRATIC or Authoritative Responsive Supportive of child’s decisions Guides and shows by example Willing to discuss choices they or their child makes and the reasoning behind these choices Disciplinary methods are nurturing & forgiving ≠ punitive Want child to be socially responsible, self-regulated, cooperative

4th Parenting Style: DEMOCRATIC or Authoritative Effects of Parenting Style on Child: Good decision makers Independent, but seek help when needed Happy Capable Successful

Back bone: parents need it.

Democratic (Authoritative): Freedom within limits Middle ground Parents set reasonable limits and enforce rules Willing to listen receptively to child’s requests interests, and questions. Children contribute to discussion of issues and make some of their own decisions Exert firm control when necessary, but explain reasoning behind it. Loving, consistent, demanding Combine control with encouragement

Outcomes of Democratic Style Happy Mostly self-reliant Friendly, generous Cooperative High-achiever’ Less likely to be disruptive or delinquent Children whose parents expect them to perform well, to fulfill commitments, and to participate actively in family duties, experience the satisfaction that comes from meeting responsibilities and achieving success.

Parental Control Psychological control – Attempts at control that affect a child’s psychological and emotional development (Barber, 1996). Includes inducting guilt, withdrawing love, or shaming. Behavioral control – “The claims parents make on children to become integrated into the family whole, by their maturity demands, supervision, disciplinary efforts and willingness to confront the child who disobeys" (Baumrind, 1991, pp. 61-62). (Darling, 1996)

Ways that parents can build a child's self-esteem: Provide more successes than failures for the child. Give lots of encouragement. Give them freedom to fail with acceptance. Allow independence. Give unconditional love. Do not set standards unreasonably high. Avoid ridicule. Eliminate the negative.

Ways that parents can build a child's self-esteem: Be available. Be a good role model. Give your children responsibility Help your child develop talents Take their ideas, emotions and feelings seriously. Set Limits Allow exploration and encourage questions.

Discipline: Spare the Rod and Spare the Child? Discipline – Techniques used to teach children appropriate behavior. Punishment – Techniques used to eliminate or reduce undesirable behavior. Often overemphasize punishment when disciplining children. 84% of American adults state that “it is sometimes necessary to discipline a child with a good hard spanking” (Lehman, 1989; Straus, 1994).

Discipline: Spare the Rod and Spare the Child? In the short run, spanking seems to work; however, in the long run, spanking is not effective (Holden, 2002) Models violent behavior Creates fear of parents Focuses on what not to do; does not teach what to do.

Discipline: Spare the Rod and Spare the Child? Children who are spanked are: more physically violent and aggressive; twice as likely to attack their siblings; more likely to steal property, commit assaults, and commit other delinquent acts; and have lower moral standards and lower self-esteem (Straus, 1994; Straus, Sugarman, & Giles-Sims, 1997). Outcomes are related to frequency, severity of spankings. All findings are correlational.

Appropriate Discipline Remember Discipline refers to techniques used to teach children appropriate behaviors; rather than punish. No technique works all the time and right away.

Appropriate Discipline Recommendations Manage the situation Set clear rules and limits Praise good behavior Use explanation and reasoning If you must punish, try removing privileges or using timeouts (a disciplinary technique that involves removing the child from the situation and anything that is encouraging the misbehavior to continue, placing the child in a safe and quiet environment).

Mothers and Fathers: Cooperating through Thick and Thin? Raising children puts a great strain on most marriages. Vast majority of couples report a significant decline in marital satisfaction in the first year after the births of their first babies. Most parents work outside the home. When children are born, couples tend to move toward more traditional gender roles. Mothers spent 23 hours per week alone with children, whereas fathers spent only 2 hours (Russell & Russell, 1987).

Mothers and Fathers: Cooperating through Thick and Thin? Types of time spent with mothers and fathers is different. Fathers’ play tends to be more physical and rough-and-tumble, while mothers’ play tends to be more toy-oriented and verbal (Park, 1996; Russell & Russell, 1987). Cultural differences.

Questions Which parenting style is the most effective? Democratic ✔ Uninvolved ✗ Permissive ≈ Authoritarian ≈ What if parents do not share the same parenting style? Need to have complementary parenting styles Authoritarian + Permissive