1. Positive Guidance and Discipline
Graffiti scenario
Spilled milk

2. “OK, here are your options: jump and discover the joy
of flight, or don’t jump and I
kick your butt out of the tree.
Scaring and threatening
is NOT discipline.
- Discipline is teaching, training,
and guiding.
The goal is to train a child who can self-control, self-discipline,
and self-guide
even when you are not around.

3. Positive Guidance Suggestions:
6. Consistency is the key to guidance. It helps children feel secure.
3. Discipline should be relevant to the misbehavior
2. Attention is a powerful reinforcer to guide children: they often misbehave for attention
5. Children may rebel when parents punish rather than discipline
7. Respond to aggressive behavior in non-aggressive ways
4. Positive Modeling: is a very effective way to teach children desired behavior
1. Children feel safe and secure when they have Limits. These help a child gain self-control

4. More Positive Guidance Suggestions:
11. Give reasons along with rules to help them learn why.
9. Follow through with your requests. Do not make threats.
8. Use routines to help children know what to expect and how to manage their behavior.
12. Treat children as responsible adults. Children become what you believe they are
10. Focus on their good behavior.
13. The purpose of discipline is to learn self-control NOT obedience. This is the ultimate goal of positive guidance.

5. 14. Make sure the message of LOVE always gets through:
warmth
humor

6. Types of Guidance
Techniques
Marble tunnel

7. 1. Natural and Logical Consequences
Natural Consequences: occur without interference, child can see the result of their choices
Cannot be used if the consequence will cause harm to self, others or property, or too far in the future.
Example: If Billy leaves his bike out, it will get stolen.
Logical Consequences: should be relevant to the misbehavior
Imposed by the caregiver to make the punishment fit the crime.
Short in duration, not imposed in anger, provide opportunities for children to learn from their behavior
Example: If Sally spills the paint, she must clean up the mess that is made

8. 2. Reverse Attention Ignoring the negative, reinforcing the positive
When a child’s behavior is inappropriate, focus on a child who is displaying the appropriate behavior and make a positive comment
If the first child changes his behavior, he should be immediately reinforced with a positive statement.

9. 3. Redirection
Children can be easily distracted. Get him to focus on something else.
Substitute acceptable activities for unacceptable ones.
Example: If he is angry at the block area, lead him to a different area of the room and introduce a different activity

10. Let’s practice…….
4. Positive Statements
Clearly states what is expected, then help them get started
When guiding children, phrase all requests in a positive manner
When giving directions
talk to children on their eye level
Example: say, “Let’s walk to the blocks,” rather than, “Don’t run to the blocks”

11. 2 volunteers or Entire class
Task – sitting in a chair, folding their arms and crossing their legs.
1st student – Don’t statements to get them to do this.
Don’t just stand their
2nd Student – Do statements to get them to do this. Tell them exact instructions.
Option 2: Entire class is to stand and face the back of the room with their arms folded.

12. DON’T – PLEASE DO Negative statement Positive Statement
Don’t sit on the counter
Don’t you ever clean your room
Don’t hit your brother
Don’t run
Don’t go in the road
Don’t yell at me
Don’t put your dish in the sink
Please sit on the chair
Please keep your room clean.
________________

13. 5. Limited Choices
Do not give him an unlimited choice unless he can really have what is chosen.
Give “Either – Or” and “When-Then” choices
Only give choices that are available.
Example: “Do you want juice or water for a drink?” rather than, ‘What would you like to drink?”

14. Use a place where there are no distractions or positive reinforcers
6. Time Out
When a child has disobeyed a rule, she will be sent to a predetermined place to distance herself from the problem and gain composure.
The time spent in time out relates to the child’s age.
Should be a last option, limited use.

15. STATE Assignment #8 in study guide:
Read the 3 child rearing problems or case studies involving a child/children and their parents, a group of children, or a group of children and an adult(s).
Suggest a positive guidance technique to be used to solve them.

16. 7. Be a Good Role Model Remember that children imitate you.
Don’t expect them to be different than what you are. If swearing is not OK for them to do, then you shouldn’t swear.
Be polite and courteous and treat them
with respect.
Treat them as responsible people. 16

17. 8. Children become what they are told they are.
Read graffiti
8. Children become what they are told they are.

18. Match Responsive to children's’ needs.
Indifferent to children, ignore them
Reject their children
Critical, derogatory, dissatisfied with their children.
Warm, understanding and accepting.
Hostile and antisocial
Poor self-control, difficulty with social interactions when teenagers.
Compliant with parent’s wishes
Happy and friendly
Dissatisfied with themselves.

19. Matching Key Responsive to children's’ needs.
Indifferent to children, ignore them
Reject their children
Critical, derogatory, dissatisfied with their children.
Warm, understanding and accepting.
Hostile and antisocial
Poor self-control, difficulty with social interactions when teenagers.
Compliant with parent’s wishes
Happy and friendly
Dissatisfied with themselves.

20. Authoritarian: Limits without Freedom.
Parents’ word is law, parents have absolute control.
Misconduct is punished
Affection and praise are rarely give
Parents try to control children's’ behavior and attitudes
They value unquestioned obedience
Children are told what to do, how to do it, and where to do it, and when to do it.

21. Outcomes of Authoritarian Style
Obedient
Distrustful
Discontent
Withdrawn
Unhappy
Hostile
Not High Achievers
Often Rebel
Children from authoritarian homes are so strictly controlled, either by punishment or guilt, that they are often prevented from making a choice about a particular behavior because they are overly concerned about what their parents will do or say.

22. Permissive: Freedom without limits.
Parents allow their children to do their own thing.
Little respect for order and routine.
Parents make few demands on children.
Impatience is hidden.
Discipline is lax
Parents are resources rather than standard makers
Rarely punish
Non controlling, non-demanding
Usually warm
Children walk all over the parents

23. Outcome of Permissive Parenting
Aggressive
Least self-reliant
Least self-control
Least exploratory
Most unhappy
Children from permissive homes receive so little guidance that they often become uncertain and anxious about whether they are doing the right thing.

24. Democratic: Freedom within limits.
Parents set limits and enforce the rules
Stress freedom along with rights of others and responsibilities of all
Willing to listen receptively to child’s requests and questions.
Provides both love and limits
Children contribute to discussion of issues and make some of their own decisions
Exert firm control when necessary, but explain reasoning behind it.
Respect children’s interest, opinions, unique personalities.
Loving, consistent, demanding
Combine control with encouragement
Reasonable expectations and realistic standards.

25. Outcomes of Democratic Style
Happy
Most self-reliant
Most self-control
Content, friendly, generous
Cooperative
High-achiever’
Less likely to be seriously disruptive or delinquent
Children whose parents expect them to perform well, to fulfill commitments, and to participate actively in family duties, as well as family fun, learn how to formulate goals. They also experience the satisfaction that comes from meeting responsibilities and achieving success
SCENARIOS

26. In groups of three or four develop a comic strip, case study, or story that fits each parenting style.
Groups pass their stories to other groups and have them read them to see if they can identify the parenting style.