Parenting styles and their impact on child’s development Workshop for Parents February/April 2014

Why is it important talking about parenting styles?

Introduction- Story by Bruce Baldwin (psychologist) "Once upon a time there were two beautiful butterflies who were delighted when their own baby caterpillar came into the world. As most parents do, they looked forward to seeing their young one turn into a butterfly just like they were. Because they cared so much, they gave their child everything a young caterpillar could possibly want. They were very busy trying to fill his unlimited wants. "When the time came, they even helped build the protective cocoon within which the metamorphosis would take place. Then they waited with eager anticipation for a beautiful young butterfly to make a grand entrance into the adult world." "At last, they saw the cocoon breaking away. To their shock and dismay, their young caterpillar emerged without changing at all! The small caterpillar greeted them with an explanation: "It's too tough being a butterfly these days. You have to fly on your own and find your own food. There's no one around to take care of you. I've decided to stay just the way I am and keep you company. To the parents distress, that is just what that apprehensive young caterpillar did.

Exploring Different Parenting Styles Activity One: You have received a rock, a tennis ball and a marshmallow. Task 1: Brainstorm words that describe each of the three items and write your ideas on the paper.

Task 2: How do you think the words on your paper are related to parenting styles?

Parenting Styles Authoritative parents are warm but firm and consistent. Set developmentally appropriate limits Set reasonable standards, moderate on discipline High in communication and emotional support Encourages independency and individuality Allow choices, give alternatives Use reasoning, negotiation and compromise Their children are independent, socially responsible and less influenced by negative peer pressure.

Authoritarian - Strict Authoritarian parents show less affection. Value obedience, respect Rules are non-negotiable, do not allow reasonable choices Discourage independency and individuality Exercise physical punishment Their children are greatly influenced by peer pressure, are passive or rebelling against parents’ values. They have lower self-esteem.

Permissive Permissive parents are warm but undemanding. They are passive in their parenting. Very low on discipline, structure and expectation. Sets no guidelines. They do not like to say no or disappoint their children. They believe that demonstrate their love is to give in to their children’s wishes. Their children may have difficulty with self-control, demonstrate egocentric tendencies, manipulative behaviour. These children are the unhappiest of all (anxiety, depression). Likely to engage in antisocial behaviour. As they have not been taught how to control or discipline themselves, they are less likely to develop self-respect.

Permissive-Uninvolved Uninvolved parents are not warm, do not place any demands. They minimize their interaction time. Generally do not want to be bothered by their children. Their children show similar patterns as children raised in permissive homes (impulsive behaviour, issues with self-regulation).

Activity Two You have received copies of the Parenting Styles Self-Evaluation and Checklist. 1. Fill out the first copy about your style of parenting. Circle the statement you agree with. 2. Fill out the second copy about your parents’ style of parenting. 3. How your parenting style is different or similar to parenting you experienced during your childhood?

Parenting should aim toward achieving balance between setting limits and granting autonomy. Parents should assess their style and make adjustments if they feel it is necessary.

Parenting style influences child development Evidence Briefing: Good quality relationships between parents and between parents and their children can make a significant difference to young people’s satisfaction with their family situation. Fathers’ involvement is associated with a range of positive outcomes for children including educational and emotional attainment, and protects against later mental health problems.

Evidence briefing… A supportive home learning environment is positively associated with children’s early achievements and wellbeing and influences social mobility. Results show that parenting makes an important contribution to differences by income group. “As we know that early cognitive development is strongly associated with the child’s educational and economic achievements as an adult, better parenting in early childhood, in terms of educational activities and a more structured parenting style, contributes to the child’s lifetime success” (Professor Ermisch 2008).

Evidence briefing… An ‘involved’ father, as defined in their research, is a father who reads to his child, takes outings with his child, is interested in their education and takes a role equal to the mother in managing his child. He may or may not live with the child’s mother, and may or may not be the child’s biological father. Findings show that, generally, the higher the level of a father’s education, the greater is the likelihood of his being involved with his children. Good father-child relations are associated with an absence of emotional and behavioural difficulties in adolescence and greater academic motivation. When children grow up those who have felt close to their fathers in adolescence are more likely to have satisfactory adult marital relationships. The study further shows that children with involved fathers are less likely to be in trouble with the police and that early father involvement protects children in separated families against later mental health problems. Father involvement is also strongly related to children’s later educational attainment. (Professor E. Flouri, A. Buchanan 2004)

Positive Discipline? Positive Discipline!

Activity Three Questions: Describe the time when you witnessed a parenting technique you felt was very effective (or describe your own). Can you think of a time when you encountered and example of ineffective parenting?

Positive Discipline Techniques Misbehaviour – the child chooses to behave inappropriately. Before action ask yourself: Is the child doing something truly wrong? Is your child capable of doing what you expect? Did your child know at the time that was doing something wrong?

Reasons for misbehaviour Attention Power Revenge Inadequancy

Discipline Techniques The type of discipline a parent uses influences the type of person a child becomes. What type of discipline do you use? What type of person do you want your child to become? Fix-up Ignore Be Firm Stay in Control Separation Behaviour management Redirection Make Rules Praise Set an Example

Appropriate Methods for Setting Limits Encouragement Natural or Logical Consequences Negotiating Rules Exploring Alternatives in Solving Problems

Case study • As a group, determine the problem. Twelve year old Robert is consistently avoiding his 8:30 bedtime, sometimes stalling, sometimes refusing to go to bed, often yelling from his bed after he has settled down. Robert and his mom are arguing about this nightly. Robert complains that his bedtime is too early. The parent is upset with Robert because he refused to go by bedtime rules. There is a constant power struggle. • As a group, determine the problem. What kind of limit-setting technique would you use in order to get Robert to cooperate?

Finally: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KukQfLvgCk8 Logical Consequences http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KukQfLvgCk8

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