Refusal Skills Saying “No”

If you think sex is a possibility and you don’t want to have sex If you think sex is a possibility and you don’t want to have sex... Make that clear before you are alone together

Know your sexual boundaries and communicate them clearly Is kissing OK, but touching is not? Should clothes stay on? If so, which ones? What can your partner expect if you change your mind? It might help to let your partner know that it is OK for them to say no to you as well

Monitor Sexual Signals

If you feel things are headed towards sex, taper off physical contact and then gently pull away If your partner pressures you, calmly explain why you do not wish to have sex

Rejection can cause hurt feelings...

Try not to compensate for their disappointment by launching into a passionate kiss

Sometimes it’s easy to say no… Sometimes it’s difficult to say no…

Sometimes people feel obligated to have sex, so saying "No" can be difficult

Just because we: Sexted Messaged all night Texted Danced close Made out Went back to your house

It’s not always men who are aggressive Remember... It’s not always men who are aggressive

Teenagers who reject peer pressure find it actually increases their self-confidence

Examples of saying no: "No, I'm not ready." "No, I don't want to." "No, it doesn't feel right.”

"You can't force me by making me feel bad. I still don't want to do it"

"My mother told me that she had sex before she was ready and it ruined her relationship. I don’t want to make that mistake"

"Some people regret their first time... I don't want to be that person"

"I don’t want a relationship that’s just based on sex"

"I'm not ready for that kind of a commitment"

"I want to be affectionate and connect, just not in that way right now"

"Listen, we’re not having sex tonight" You can be blunt... "Listen, we’re not having sex tonight"

"I have so much fun when I'm with you, but I don't see a romantic future for us"

"It could make things weird"

This is ALWAYS a clear ‘NO’! REMEMBER! This is ALWAYS a clear ‘NO’!

How to say "NO" Say "No” Use Body Language Repeat the Refusal Suggest an Alternative Build the Relationship (if appropriate)

Scenario You and your boy/girlfriend are alone at your house. You don’t expect your parents to be home for a couple of hours. You’ve never talked about having sex, and didn’t plan on having it tonight, but things seem to be going in that direction What do you do?