HANDLING CONFLICT HOW DO YOU HANDLE CONFLICT? HOW DO YOU IN THE WORKPLACE?

3 MAIN REASONS OF CONFLICT LIMITED RESOURCES PERSONAL NEEDS DIFFERENT VALUES

DIFFERENT VALUES EXAMPLE GOSSIPPING ASKED TO LIE TO COVER UP EXTRA LONG BREAKS BORROWING SUPPLIES NOT RETURNING THINGS

LIMITED RESOURCES EXAMPLE ONLY ONE PROMOTION AVAILABLE CORNER OFFICE SHARING COMPUTER

PERSONAL NEEDS EXAMPLE VACATION TIME SOMEONE MUST WORK LATE / EARLY SOMEONE NOT PULLING THEIR WEIGHT SHARING AN OFFICE – TEMPERATURE CONTROL LOUD NOT WORKING

WHY DO WE BEHAVE A CERTAIN WAY? HABIT LEARNED BEHAVIOUR BELIEF SYSTEM – “I MUST WIN” VARIATIONS IN: MOOD SETTING RELATIONSHIP SIGNIFICANCE OF CONFLICT

CONFLICT ESCALATOR AVOIDING EACH OTHER ANGRY LOOKS AND POSTURING ARGUE INTENSELY / EMOTIONALLY INSULTING REMARKS FIGHTING

3 WAYS TO HANDLE CONFLICT FIGHT – AGGRESSIVE FLIGHT – PASSIVE FLOW - ASSERTIVE

FIGHT I WIN – YOU LOSE THINKING HOW DO YOU ACT I’M RIGHT SCREAM YOU’RE WRONG BLAME/PUNISH I’M OK YOU’RE NOT HOW DO YOU ACT SCREAM VIOLENCE DON’T LISTEN

FLIGHT I LOSE – YOU WIN THINKING HOW DO YOU ACT WANT PEACE SULKING AVOID CONFLICT LET THEM WIN I’M NOT OK HOW DO YOU ACT SULKING CRYING GIVE IN PRETEND IT DIDN’T HAPPEN

FLOW (ASSERTIVE) I’M OK – YOU’RE OK THINKING WANT TO SOLVE PROBLEM RESPECT OTHERS SORT THROUGH PROBLEM HOW DO YOU ACT DISCUSS LISTEN TAKE TIME OUT EXPLAIN COMPROMISE

RESOLVING CONFLICT WORK IT OUT TOGETHER THINK OF IT AS A MUTUAL PROBLEM FIND COMMON GROUND / INTERESTS BE WILLING TO COOPERATE’ BE WILLING TO GIVE AND GET

RESOLVING CONFLICT SPOTLIGHT THE PROBLEM FOCUS ON THE PROBLEM DON’T MAKE IT PERSONAL NOT A COMPETITION LOOK FOR SOLUTIONS

RESOLVING CONFLICT EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION BE CAREFUL OF NON VERBAL MESSAGES AVOID BEING FORCEFUL WHEN YOUR MESSAGE IS NOT “WINNING” AVOID THREATS

RESOLVING CONFLICT TAKE A TIME OUT ALLOWS ONE TO “COOL DOWN” ALLOWS FOR TIME TO THINK ALLOWS FOR PERSPECTIVE COME BACK WITH LOGIC / RATIONALE COME BACK WITH HUMOUR

RESOLVING CONFLICT GO FOR WIN – WIN SOLUTIONS COLLABORATE ON SOLUTIONS LOOK FOR WAYS THAT BENEFIT ALL NEGOTIATE AND COMPROMISE

RESOLVING CONFLICT KNOW WHEN TO LET GO IS THE BATTLE WORTH IT? ONCE A SOLUTION IS DECIDED ON – LEARN TO ACCEPT AND MOVE ON AGREE TO DISAGREE LETTING GO AND BUILD RESPECT AND RELATIONSHIPS

“I” STATEMENTS USE “I” STATEMENTS INSTEAD OF ATTACKING I AM FRUSTRATED WHEN THE JOB IS NOT COMPLETED ON TIME I DON’T FEEL RESPECTED WHEN MY OPINION IS NOT HEARD WHEN I’M INTERUPTED I FEEL LIKE YOU DON’T RESPECT MY OPINION