AttachmentAttachment

Social development begins the minute you enter the world. Social development is a really funny thing- who you are now socially really began all the way back when you were an infant.

Psychologists have identified periods of our lives that development MUST be healthy or they will not develop correctly- these times are called Critical Periods.

The first few months of life are a critical period for social development. The focal issue for the infant is to develop is attachment- a reciprocal relationship between child and caregiver (usually a parent).

Some animals develop attachment through the process of imprinting.

Scientist Konrad Lorenz showed us baby ducklings would develop an immediate strong attachment with the first object it sees moving.

This object is hopefully the duckling's mother, but Lorenz imprinted ducklings to humans, dogs and even balls.

Now do humans imprint? Of course not - otherwise we would all have a thing for doctors and nurses (the first people we see).

Harry Harlow proved to us that touch is critical for higher level mammals (like most of you) to develop attachment.

He separated them from their mothers and used a wire mother, covered in soft cloth with a nipple with milk, as a mother substitute for the baby.

One day a baby monkey took a poop on the fake mother and Harlow had to wash the cloth. The baby monkey freaked out with the wire monkey without the soft cloth. So Harlow wanted to see if the cloth was really that important.

He put baby monkeys into cages with two mothers - one with a soft cloth and no food, one a hard wire mesh with a nipple that provided food.

To everyone's astonishment, the baby stayed with the cloth mother all day and ignored the one with food.

Even when hungry the baby would quickly reach across, take some food, but run back to the soft mother.

Thus, it was discovered that soft touch is critical for monkeys to develop attachment.

Further studies have been done with humans in orphanages. Some orphans were touched daily (good touch, not bad touch), with some stroking on the head, while other orphans were fed but never touched. The ones that were never touched became socially isolated and when tested 12 years later, had lower IQs than the ones that were touched. Yes, this was a cruel experiment.

Years later, psychologist Mary Ainsworth, labeled the various types of attachments humans can have with their parents. She set up an experiment called Ainsworth's Stranger Paradigm

She placed young children into rooms that they had never been in before and then asked their parents to quietly go out the door.

After observing how the child reacts with the parent away, she asked the parents to come back in the room and observed how the child reacted to their mom or dad's return. She discovered three main types of attachment.

Secure Attachments (66% of infants): confidently explored the room with parent there, became distressed when the parent left, and came back to them for a hug when the parent returned.

Avoidant Attachments (21% of infants): explore the environment even when parents leave the room- do not go to parents for comfort.

Anxious/Ambivalent Attachment (12% of infants): show stress when parents leave, but do not want comfort when parents return.

Parenting Styles

Do you think your parents have in any way affected your social development? Think about the following 3 types of parenting styles and see if you can identify traits of your parents within them:

Authoritarian Parents  These are the "WHY, BECAUSE I SAID SO PARENTS!!!!".  They set strict standards for the child's behavior and apply punishments for breaking the rules.  They favor obedience over rationale.

Permissive Parents  Do not set clear guidelines for their children.  The rules are constantly being changed, and it creates a feeling that you can get away with anything.  Your parents are unpredictable- you come home two hours late and one day they will not care, but the next they may ground you for a week.

Authoritative Parents  Have consistent standards for the child's behavior, but the rules are reasonable and explained.  Encourage the child's independence, but not to the point where the rules are broken.  They praise as often as they punish, and often let the children help make the rules.

Now most of our parents do not fall exactly in one single category. They may be permissive about watching TV, but authoritarian about dating. In general, children of Authoritative parents have been shown to have more success in school.